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Thread: Boyfriend and Porn

  1. 05-08-2008 10:44 AM #1
    Month36
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    Default Boyfriend and Porn

    I have been in a serious realtionship with my boyfriend for two years now. Recently, I feel like our sex life is in a slump. He just never seems interested lately. When I asked him about it, he told me that he was just addicted to porn. He sometimes can't wait until he sees me in the evening so he watches porn and masturbates, then later doesn't have the energy or interest to do it again. I wasn't excpecting rainbows and butterflies when I asked him about it, I wasn't really excpecting that. It really kind of hurt me, like he rather do it with is hand than with me. I know guys like porn, but shouldn't they enjoy the real thing more. I don't know if I should be angry, or what? Any advice or suggestions?
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  2. 05-08-2008 12:07 PM #2
    whilhelm
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    i have tons of advice & suggestions.

    the first, though, would be to search this site - using the term "porn" or "pornography".

    at the risk of being obnoxious, i would offer for you to search my posts because porn is about all i've discussed here. it's a topic i feel somewhat passionate about.

    does he want to kick his addiction? how do you feel about it? do you mind if he uses porn but just don't want him addicted?
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  3. 05-08-2008 02:04 PM #3
    Month36
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    Thanks a lot, I will try searching for it. It really doesn't bother me that he watches porn. My problem is just that it is interfearing with our sex life.
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  4. 05-08-2008 03:00 PM #4
    FionaDiaz
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    Why not ask him to wait till you get there and you can watch it with him? Porn is actually really great to spice up your love life. However, be careful that he doesn't want to watch porn everytime you have sex.

    Or you can with-hold sex from him. He will probably get bored with his hand and come back for the real thing. Make him work for it...

    Last tip... ROLE PLAY!!! yay!

    Many people watch Porn for fantasy reasons... so why not give him something to fantasize about??

    The easiest act is hooker/john since you can do almost anything... Have fun with it!

    Best of luck!
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  5. 05-08-2008 04:02 PM #5
    Uneeklyme
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    Quote Originally Posted by Month36 View Post
    I have been in a serious realtionship with my boyfriend for two years now. Recently, I feel like our sex life is in a slump. He just never seems interested lately. When I asked him about it, he told me that he was just addicted to porn. He sometimes can't wait until he sees me in the evening so he watches porn and masturbates, then later doesn't have the energy or interest to do it again. I wasn't excpecting rainbows and butterflies when I asked him about it, I wasn't really excpecting that. It really kind of hurt me, like he rather do it with is hand than with me. I know guys like porn, but shouldn't they enjoy the real thing more. I don't know if I should be angry, or what? Any advice or suggestions?
    Watching porn is one thing. When it takes presidence over taking pleasure in and with a partner is a whole other ball game. Any addiction weather it be porn, alcohol, drugs, food, gambleing(insert addiction) needs some kind of treatment especially if there are other people involved that are being hurt by it. It's great that you two are talking about it and he is openly admitting he has a problem. Hopefully you can openly let him know your hurt and concerned and both of you are willing to work on fixing it.
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  6. 05-08-2008 04:49 PM #6
    CHANDLERS WISH
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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaDiaz View Post
    Why not ask him to wait till you get there and you can watch it with him? Porn is actually really great to spice up your love life. However, be careful that he doesn't want to watch porn everytime you have sex.

    Or you can with-hold sex from him. He will probably get bored with his hand and come back for the real thing. Make him work for it...

    Last tip... ROLE PLAY!!! yay!

    Many people watch Porn for fantasy reasons... so why not give him something to fantasize about??

    The easiest act is hooker/john since you can do almost anything... Have fun with it!

    Best of luck!

    Whilst that all sounds tantelizing, a touch controlling, spicy, i tend to think that by doing that, you are in-fact giving in? - Your creating yourself to be what he is watching? So that he doesn't watch? Or taking away the opportunities by saying no, to change him?

    I think that's all fine if he's watching a small amount every now and then and you want him to feel comfortable that that's ok, join in, use your womanly powers to entice because that's you, your a sexy little thing...

    But if this guy is watching it all the time, neglecting her, not wanting any sex cause he's all masterbated out, he won't care if she says no, nor for her to watch it' it's his "time" there, nor care what she wares she may fall down in that department as well as he may look at her and go, well hahaha, you've got nothing on what i just saw.. Visualisation?

    I agree with Uneekly me there that this could be an addiction that he needs to work with.

    Put it this way, if the threader was to put on tantalising underwear, high heels, stockings, suspenders, and walk up to him and he said " sorry not in the mood", that would for sure tell me there was something seriously wrong, but also hurt like **** if i was rejected having spent that time doing that.

    I did that for my ex in our first year of marriage and he was watching car racing, "sorry, not in the mood" what the? That's when it crumbled, and hurt like ****... Seeing as i was long blonde hair, 5-8 and slim and well, attractive enough to have guys smiling all the time... Not worth it in my books, i never ever forgot that....

    Cancel the Internet service for a month, lol.... No true, or get him away for a week, away from the computer together, so he can't and can only see you and work with him there, he may see it's not as important as he thought it was, after receiving much loving from you....

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!
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  7. 05-08-2008 07:07 PM #7
    FionaDiaz
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    Quote Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
    I think that's all fine if he's watching a small amount every now and then and you want him to feel comfortable that that's ok, join in, use your womanly powers to entice because that's you, your a sexy little thing...

    But if this guy is watching it all the time, neglecting her, not wanting any sex cause he's all masterbated out, he won't care if she says no, nor for her to watch it' it's his "time" there, nor care what she wares she may fall down in that department as well as he may look at her and go, well hahaha, you've got nothing on what i just saw.. Visualisation?

    I agree with Uneekly me there that this could be an addiction that he needs to work with.

    Put it this way, if the threader was to put on tantalising underwear, high heels, stockings, suspenders, and walk up to him and he said " sorry not in the mood", that would for sure tell me there was something seriously wrong, but also hurt like **** if i was rejected having spent that time doing that.

    I did that for my ex in our first year of marriage and he was watching car racing, "sorry, not in the mood" what the? That's when it crumbled, and hurt like ****... Seeing as i was long blonde hair, 5-8 and slim and well, attractive enough to have guys smiling all the time... Not worth it in my books, i never ever forgot that....

    Cancel the Internet service for a month, lol.... No true, or get him away for a week, away from the computer together, so he can't and can only see you and work with him there, he may see it's not as important as he thought it was, after receiving much loving from you....

    CW
    You make some great points here! I've got no experence with porn addiction! I enjoy watching porn, probably more than my husband does, but as for addictions I'm lost!

    If a man ever told me "I'd rather watch TV" or "I was with my hand earlier" it would be the end of it for me... but that's me.
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  8. 05-08-2008 09:45 PM #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaDiaz View Post
    You make some great points here! I've got no experence with porn addiction! I enjoy watching porn, probably more than my husband does, but as for addictions I'm lost!

    If a man ever told me "I'd rather watch TV" or "I was with my hand earlier" it would be the end of it for me... but that's me.

    Actually, i was new a few months ago here, frankly, after reading so many threads on porn addiction, you can almost smell it now...

    I also started checking out a few Porn, having read all here, and it is quite a journey, tips, interest but same, i can't recall what day, week i last looked...

    Guess what? I left my husband, well it took a while but gee..... preferred watching car racing, no heart racing when he saw me walk out the bedroom after 40 minutes of hair/makeup/stocking etc? Same, i must admit no problem with masterbation but not as a preference over me. I'm a giving little one, so no need to be an alternative.

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!
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  9. 05-08-2008 09:52 PM #9
    FionaDiaz
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    Quote Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
    Actually, i was new a few months ago here, frankly, after reading so many threads on porn addiction, you can almost smell it now...

    I also started checking out a few Porn, having read all here, and it is quite a journey, tips, interest but same, i can't recall what day, week i last looked...

    Guess what? I left my husband, well it took a while but gee..... preferred watching car racing, no heart racing when he saw me walk out the bedroom after 40 minutes of hair/makeup/stocking etc? Same, i must admit no problem with masterbation but not as a preference over me. I'm a giving little one, so no need to be an alternative.

    CW
    I love porn hehehe

    Men suck! and no woman should be an alternative... You described yourself a bit in your last post and I must say you sound beautiful! Any man (or woman) would have to be an extreme *** to rather watch racing! Good for you for leaving him!
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  10. 05-08-2008 10:05 PM #10
    CHANDLERS WISH
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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaDiaz View Post
    I love porn hehehe

    Men suck! and no woman should be an alternative... You described yourself a bit in your last post and I must say you sound beautiful! Any man (or woman) would have to be an extreme *** to rather watch racing! Good for you for leaving him!
    Why do i get the impression we are the only one's on here? Then we're answering ourselves together, lol, like MSN.. Did that a few weeks ago with Miffed23 and then wala .. Fallen 1 poped in and gatecrashed.... lol.

    Yes, true i totally agree with you...

    We are all beautiful in my opinion, but let's put it this way, when i asked him after we separated why he wanted to remain married? He said " because your intelligent and gorgeous" meaning to look at? What's with that as a reason?

    I believe in "hobbies" "passionate even", but not obsession..... I think his was, in fact i bought that up with him when we separated but he can't recall doing it, so i let him know that's when it all fell apart for me......

    Yeah, men suck....

    cw
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!
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