Thread: Can't get it in

ok ladies i need your help with this and im kinda embarrassed so no funny jokes. Ok me and my gf finally decided to take the next step i n our relation ship and have sex but everytime i try to put it in i never get really far without her backin up trying to run away from me telling me it hurts too much. well im a virgin too and i just dont know how to fix this problem. I tried fingering her to make it wider so it wont hurt as much but i can go in too far because she wants to lose it to my **** obviously. So should i just be an a*hole and stuff it in her which i really dont want to do or keep trying what i've been doing over and over again?

Dont be an ***hole for sure. Being the first time for both of you, thats not the way you want to remember it.

I understand her thinking that she wants to lose her virginity with your penis. However, the very definition of virginity does not include fingers. Opening her with your fingers does not take her virginity. Up until the moment you penetrate her with your penis, she is a virgin and so are you. Think about it, Im sure you have masturbated... did your hand devirginize you?

Im sorry your having this difficulty. You didnt say, what are your ages?

i turned 18 in april and she turned 18 just last week i guess you could say this is our bday present to each other? thx for the advice im not sure how ima talk her into it but i'll try thanks for the quick response i appreciate it.

1. Good communication
2. Lubricants should be used generously.
3. Foreplay (you can read a lot about it) you may wanna focus on her more than yourself.
4. Make sure she is turned ONNN to the point where a little pain really doesn't matter at all.
5. Go slow and easy keep it that way till she asks for it....

and then give it to her.

Hope this helps.

Originally Posted by Cornball

ok ladies i need your help with this and im kinda embarrassed so no funny jokes. Ok me and my gf finally decided to take the next step i n our relation ship and have sex but everytime i try to put it in i never get really far without her backin up trying to run away from me telling me it hurts too much. well im a virgin too and i just dont know how to fix this problem. I tried fingering her to make it wider so it wont hurt as much but i can go in too far because she wants to lose it to my **** obviously. So should i just be an a*hole and stuff it in her which i really dont want to do or keep trying what i've been doing over and over again?

THis is just one of those posts !!! "so should i be an *** hole and just stuff it in ....

You want an HONEST opinion ??? id pretend you never posted this ...and come back in twenty years ...when you might be a bit more knowledgeable on sex and the womans body !! this post says one thing , and guess what that is ?

i meant no disrespect i really do love her so sorry if i offended you but its really a let down when i get really excited and she starts leading me to it then it turns out into another try again later scenario its really frustrating. i just want to make her feel pleasure like she does fro me but not if it hurts her so bad...

I also do not appreciate you giving such a rude comment. I only need advice not disrespectful insults. i came to this forum for help not insults.

oh and thanks for the tips Mosach but i tried everything you said but the er lubricant so i guess i'll give that a go.

********My bad..LUBRICATION is super important. ***********

He said he DIDN'T want to be a "jerk" about it; it's hard to be 18 and trying to figure out a body that's telling you to have sex while also telling you that sex HURTS. Been there. Done that.
The good tips given so far are great. I just started having sex about a year ago, and I had the same problem as your girlfriend. I wanted desperately to do it, but it hurt like ****.
My first partner and ex-fiancé WAS a jerk and just stuffed it in. It turned into a rape, which led to even more problems and psychologically-induced pain for my next partner and current boyfriend. Ask your girlfriend if she's had some kind of abuse in the past or if she's still scared. This is something you'll need to work through; psychological pain is just as bad as physical pain and feels just the same.
The way my boyfriend and I got through it:
-A safe place. Don't do it in the back of the car; the "thrill" of getting caught should have left you. Now that you're 18, if you get caught by the cops, you're in BIG trouble. It will make her feel safer too. You're old enough to get a hotel room.
-Trust. She has to trust you (and herself!) completely. Try it with the lights off the first time. Cuddle her for a long time; make foreplay last, and try to look her in the eye (even if it's dark!) Tell her you love her. Little things.
-Patience. A good piece of physical advice is to play "just the tip," which I guess is a quote from Wedding Crashers, but seriously just put the tip in and out. There are more nerves in the first few inches of a woman's vagina than the rest; use that to get her aroused. Let her be "on top," but have her raise her butt up and YOU be the one thrusting (maybe a man could explain this one more; it worked for me but I'm not sure how he did it.) She is still in control; it's easier to lift your butt up than push someone off the top of you. You can push in inch by inch without hurting her.
I hope that works for you. Please let us know

I'm very sorry about your past experiences i have asked her if anything like that has happened to her before but she tells me im the first and only to touch her in those kind of ways. I tell her i love her and do cuddle and kiss her and tease her a bit untill she tells me shes wet or ready and then usually i'm on top because she says she likes how i hold her and tell her i love her it makes her feel safe i guess but i'll try making her go on top she trusts me a lot so i guess she'll try it. I just hope it works . I appreciate all the help im getting especially since im new to these forums. I'll be back to tell you how it went well not too much details of course .