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Thread: the dry factor.....

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uneeklyme View Post
    Sorry if you felt I was offended. Honestly just asking you to clarify. re: earlier post. Hope you would do the same for me if you question what I mean. Im a pretty straight shooter but try to use tact...unlike some people... **wave, cough...hi hy**
    LOL...

    As i said, wouldn't want to argue with you, your good at it, na, only joking. No necessity to..

    Not at all, you are a straight shooter, and the nickers are going into knots out there today, as you have stated, **wave, cough...hi hy** another one with a wicked sense of humor ahhh...

    Yes, i would, as well as defending as that's me, but you know that...

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by FionaDiaz View Post
    Oh... didn't you know? Everything about me is perfect...

    I'm the perfect woman....

    and perfectly humble!

    lol If you knew my Dad you'd completely understand were my humor comes from...

    Considering where this topic is going (the **** comments and whatnot) it's better to change the topic a bit, no??
    For sure, you feel that way sometimes, i do it often, but mostly it doesn't work if two people are **** bent on going at each other... but we can only try.

    Mmmm... I see, daddy's girl...lol... perfect woman, confident as..... lol...

    See you tomorrow i'm sure. ( Well i will you stare at me with those eyes) LMAO...

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by miffed23 View Post
    Great advice! Im getting some of that silicone lube
    I was FLOORED the first time I tried a silicone lube and since I starting working with BBP, I was surprised at how many women use them. Wish I would have known to try one years ago!
    ~ Lisa
    Sexpert Extraordinaire
    thetickledhousewife.com

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uneeklyme View Post
    Are you saying then that if we do not love the person we have sex with outside of our relationship it is not cheating? I personally believe it is cheating with or without love if our partner is not aware of it or has either agreed with it happening and at the very least has been given the choice of how they deal with it.

    Humans are funny creatures with the guilt. I wouldnt tell my lover after 20 years that I cheated on him before we married. Whats the point after 20 years. It does seem like a big lie to start out with though. Sure, your partner would be hurt and sad and angry and (insert emotion) but again, at least they would have the choice of how they deal with it. Especially if you plan to enter into a contract(marriage) which clearly states...foresaking all others. Now, if it never happens again then good on you but this woman had a relationship with another person wether she loved him or not. Her words read fling not one night stand. I understand that she does not want to continue with this fling and should make him well aware of that but lets not forget that it is not just about her. The flingee has attempted to continue the fling. Are his feelings and emotions not important enough to take into consideration. What if he contacts the boyfriend to get back at her for dumping him? At the same time, I am not telling her in no uncertian terms that she should tell her partner that she cheated. I am still of the opinion that for some people it is more a fear of losing status quo than feeling what they did was bad or wrong. What about that stops them from doing it again if they have got away with it before?

    Weird but in a round about way I agree as well. She is in a 3 year relationship though. Not being married but living as if you are and commited as if you are... its still on the same level. Now, if she were just in a dating relationship I say more power to her.

    Are you addressing the original poster with this or me specifically? If its the latter I have to say I would never put myself in this situation. I believe there is no reason to cheat. I understand that human nature dictates attractions outside of relationship/marriage. Its what we do with this attraction. I believe that if I am attracted enough to another to step outside the boundaries of my relationship then I should not be in a relationship. I choose to be in a relationship where attraction for others is accepted. I feel that we can love more than one person at a time. I am up front with my partners about this from the get go. It is just part of who I am. I give them the choice to either accept it and stay or not. I make no guarantees going into a relationship that I will not have an attraction for others or foresake all others and afford my partners the same. This is not to say that I do not respect my partners and their wishes but I give them the choice. I also do not get involved with anyone without letting them know up front I have a relationship and my partner will know about them hence, giving my "fling" the choice to continue or not. Sometimes hurt feeling yes but everyone knows the score and take the risk with informed consent and full knowledge. They choose to take the risks.

    I agree. Our sex lives wax and wane. Cheating is not a fix. There are other ways to get the juices flowing. There have been some great suggestions here.
    Love should never be judged on how good or bad the sex is IMO. I do not question the original posters love for her boyfriend just have some opinions on her actions. What she does is her business but she is here looking for opinions and advice.

    Off topic but I just dont understand this power struggle of the ages. I know older women that are post dumb about their sexuality and young people that are so in tune with themselves I take lessons away from talking with them.

    Again, off topic but it always boggles my mind when the cheated on or almost cheated on blame the other person their partner was messing with. More often than not, the other person doesnt even know they are getting with someone who is already "taken" and if they do, they believe what they are told... IE: we havent had sex forever, we are not in love anymore, we are divorcing but live together for financial reasons (insert excuse here) or, what investment do they have in your relationship so why should they mind if your partner is cheating, its not hurting them. This last type is just mean but still not their fault. It's my understanding that you didnt know anything about your husband playing it down to the wire until much later when you asked him if he had ever cheated on you? I sincerely appologize if I read that wrong. Great that he didn't but almost... and he participated willingly. We can only steal whats left out there for us to take.

    Yes, sadly, a hijacked post. I do see where she is getting advice on her actual question though. I think if we are giving opinions and advice we should at least read the entire thread before chiming in. Personal experience... not knowing what the whole thread is can lead to assumptions of meaning.

    WOW, Harsh, uncalled for and not at all near what I was thinking. I am assuming you are talking about the original poster here? Either way, none of posters in this thread deserve that or even come across anything close to ****. I personally dont appreciate you thinking for me. I have some strong opinions. Sometimes they come across as judgemental but it is not my intention. If there is a question in my meaning I would rather be asked to define what I am trying to say. Your entitled to your opinion but try to articulate like an adult and not like a shouted high school statement out of the bus window.
    Like most posters here, I am very busy....I just saw this post today....Needless to say, if I would have seen it earlier I WOULD HAVE RESPONDED.....We are leaving now and I will not return until later this evening....I will respond to it under the numbers 1 to 5....Each will be about your quotes to me.....TC, C

  5. #35
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    Default Maybe this will take care of your and CW's posts....

    Quote Originally Posted by Uneeklyme View Post
    Are you saying then that if we do not love the person we have sex with outside of our relationship it is not cheating? I personally believe it is cheating with or without love if our partner is not aware of it or has either agreed with it happening and at the very least has been given the choice of how they deal with it.

    Cheating is cheating. I speak about a woman not yet 20 years old that was too hot for her own good....Beautiful and she knew it....Sexually a bombshell.....No excuses but I was young.....Even though I was wrong, this is part of who I am. I truly was too young to understand the scope of this sexual act...BUT I understood the pleasures...It was the fault of my boss as he was wise in the ways of the world...I was not yet engaged but I still did it...he was a pretty wise man.....

    Humans are funny creatures with the guilt. I wouldnt tell my lover after 20 years that I cheated on him before we married. Whats the point after 20 years. It does seem like a big lie to start out with though. Sure, your partner would be hurt and sad and angry and (insert emotion) but again, at least they would have the choice of how they deal with it. Especially if you plan to enter into a contract(marriage) which clearly states...foresaking all others. Now, if it never happens again then good on you but this woman had a relationship with another person wether she loved him or not. Her words read fling not one night stand. I understand that she does not want to continue with this fling and should make him well aware of that but lets not forget that it is not just about her. The flingee has attempted to continue the fling. Are his feelings and emotions not important enough to take into consideration. What if he contacts the boyfriend to get back at her for dumping him? At the same time, I am not telling her in no uncertian terms that she should tell her partner that she cheated. I am still of the opinion that for some people it is more a fear of losing status quo than feeling what they did was bad or wrong. What about that stops them from doing it again if they have got away with it before?

    Why take a chance of destroying a precious relationship by telling them of something that happened.....It happened yesterday....Why would you tell them this today....This happened before we were married as what happened to her is the past...Let the past be the past...You cannot change it so why make two people suffer.....If he would have known this I would have never seen him again...Too much pride and I was just plain Stu*id....Don't think this woman lives with regret but she does not need all people to come down on her and treat her like a tramp.....She messed up but she came forward and spoke....All the correct wording in life does not make for a breaking heart...She hurts enough, that is why she is here..She deserves another chance as I did but her only sin is age and knowledge....Mine was youth and being very sexual and inexperienced..


    Off topic but I just dont understand this power struggle of the ages. I know older women that are post dumb about their sexuality and young people that are so in tune with themselves I take lessons away from talking with them.

    From what I understand from all the women that write me, I give lessons....Mine is not a power struggle......Mine is sharing for the older generation.....However, funny as it seems.....The younger generation has all the interest....Most of them my age are near sexually dead.....They listened to their Mother's and read Sex books that were wrong...They said we died with Menopause and I say we have only just begun...

    Again, off topic but it always boggles my mind when the cheated on or almost cheated on blame the other person their partner was messing with. More often than not, the other person doesnt even know they are getting with someone who is already "taken" and if they do, they believe what they are told... IE: we havent had sex forever, we are not in love anymore, we are divorcing but live together for financial reasons (insert excuse here) or, what investment do they have in your relationship so why should they mind if your partner is cheating, its not hurting them. This last type is just mean but still not their fault. It's my understanding that you didnt know anything about your husband playing it down to the wire until much later when you asked him if he had ever cheated on you? I sincerely appologize if I read that wrong. Great that he didn't but almost... and he participated willingly. We can only steal whats left out there for us to take.

    I just won't dignify that with an answer....

    Yes, sadly, a hijacked post. I do see where she is getting advice on her actual question though. I think if we are giving opinions and advice we should at least read the entire thread before chiming in. Personal experience... not knowing what the whole thread is can lead to assumptions of meaning.

    Like many people I did read the whole thread....Maybe a couple of times. But I, unlike you, am light on life....My world is a treasure...Each day is wonderful and once in a while I leave a bit of me somewhere and unfortunately someone comes along without a sense of humor and picks me apart.....All these things happen in life and I, being the oldest sexual poster here, always anticipate the kick from the outside...That is why I am so thrilled that the site now has the Blog Site.....I figure that is where I belong and do not have to defend myself... I have one heck of a cannon when I get mad.....So I am putting the cannon away and staying cool.......
    Well, I am glad that is over.....And I am sure you are too.....No hard feelings.....

  6. #36
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    Default CW I did not mean you on this post.....I only answered the one post...

    Quote Originally Posted by CarolineWH View Post
    Well, I am glad that is over.....And I am sure you are too.....No hard feelings.....
    CW: I did not mean you on this post....We have talked about this before...There is nothing I can do about my yesterday but these things happen to women in life....I can be sorry until the cow's come home but it has happened....I like to look at today with a different perspective than anyone else....I have age....With this age has come a certain amount of wisdom......This is wisdom from life and learning...My one learning in life was of an affair with a man 30 years older than I was who taught me about sex....Now that sounds terrible with just my saying it...What kind of a tramp was I to do this? What was I thinking? Yet it happened and I cannot live my life with regret....

    I look at life one way.....All my experiences in life jelled and each and every part of me and who I am came from all that has happened to me in life.....How can I regret being who I am right now......I would not trade this place in time for any amount of money in the world....xox

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by CarolineWH View Post
    CW: I did not mean you on this post....We have talked about this before...There is nothing I can do about my yesterday but these things happen to women in life....I can be sorry until the cow's come home but it has happened....I like to look at today with a different perspective than anyone else....I have age....With this age has come a certain amount of wisdom......This is wisdom from life and learning...My one learning in life was of an affair with a man 30 years older than I was who taught me about sex....Now that sounds terrible with just my saying it...What kind of a tramp was I to do this? What was I thinking? Yet it happened and I cannot live my life with regret....

    I look at life one way.....All my experiences in life jelled and each and every part of me and who I am came from all that has happened to me in life.....How can I regret being who I am right now......I would not trade this place in time for any amount of money in the world....xox
    That's okay, i post too much no wonder you added CW, you see it all the time, lol.

    I think the most important thing is to be happy with who you are.. Happy in yourself. Nothing else really matters then does it.

    Yesterday is just yesterday. If it does not affect you now, and you have moved on then you are in the present and future and that's the key of being happy in life.

    My Opinion.

    x

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

  8. #38
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Uneeklyme's Avatar
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    Cheating is cheating. I speak about a woman not yet 20 years old that was too hot for her own good....Beautiful and she knew it....Sexually a bombshell.....No excuses but I was young.....Even though I was wrong, this is part of who I am. I truly was too young to understand the scope of this sexual act...BUT I understood the pleasures...It was the fault of my boss as he was wise in the ways of the world...I was not yet engaged but I still did it...he was a pretty wise man.....
    I was just asking for clarification to your comment. Sometimes I do that if I think I may be missreading or do not understand what people are trying to convey. For example, I think its great that you were and still appear to be so self confidant about your body but in this statement you make here you blame somebody else for your actions? Regardless of the severity of our actions in any situation they are still our own to take credit or blame for. True that our actions can be governed by outside forces but we have the ability to process our own thoughts and it is us that acts on them clouded with desire and emotion or not.

    Why take a chance of destroying a precious relationship by telling them of something that happened.....It happened yesterday....Why would you tell them this today....This happened before we were married as what happened to her is the past...Let the past be the past...You cannot change it so why make two people suffer.....If he would have known this I would have never seen him again...Too much pride and I was just plain Stu*id....Don't think this woman lives with regret but she does not need all people to come down on her and treat her like a tramp.....She messed up but she came forward and spoke....All the correct wording in life does not make for a breaking heart...She hurts enough, that is why she is here..She deserves another chance as I did but her only sin is age and knowledge....Mine was youth and being very sexual and inexperienced..
    Your words not mine. I was not passing judgement on her, I was giving my opinion and thoughts on the act of cheating. Deception takes away a choice based on fact and reality for other people. Again, she did not have a one night stand with someone, she had a full on relationship outside of her relationship of three years. I have clearly stated it is her choice to come clean or not and a choice she will have to live with. I personally would rather find out sooner than later(after children perhaps or contracting an STI) about a partners infedility and be given the choice of which path my future holds. Thats just me and my opinion. For you, it worked out another way. I am rightly entitled to my opinion on a subject. I also stated I would NOT tell my partner after 20 years. What would be the point. I would not want to have to live with the guilt of deception that great for that long though. We take the chance of destroying a precious relationship when we step outside of it to begin with. How precious is it if its so mistreated as stepping out on it...I am generalizing more than talking of you or her personally.

    From what I understand from all the women that write me, I give lessons....Mine is not a power struggle......Mine is sharing for the older generation.....However, funny as it seems.....The younger generation has all the interest....Most of them my age are near sexually dead.....They listened to their Mother's and read Sex books that were wrong...They said we died with Menopause and I say we have only just begun...
    I think its great that your still going strong. I aspire to be as sexually active when I am further along in years. Have the standing date with my partner when were sharing a room in a nursing home somewhere. Close the door on mondays and fridays and leave us alone till we open it. Working in the medical profession, I have actually seen this situation. Its awesome. Sue Johanson... shes amazing. I watch her show and get great advice. On the flip side though, I am far from sexually illiterate at my young age.

    Like many people I did read the whole thread....Maybe a couple of times. But I, unlike you, am light on life....My world is a treasure...Each day is wonderful and once in a while I leave a bit of me somewhere and unfortunately someone comes along without a sense of humor and picks me apart.....All these things happen in life and I, being the oldest sexual poster here, always anticipate the kick from the outside...That is why I am so thrilled that the site now has the Blog Site.....I figure that is where I belong and do not have to defend myself... I have one heck of a cannon when I get mad.....So I am putting the cannon away and staying cool
    Again, I just misread. Got the impression from your post you hadnt read from the start. Re reading I can see where you were being cheeky about forgetting the topic. My bad and I am sorry for that. However, your judgement of me and what I percieve to be an underlying threat to what? use your "cannon" on me? just chaps my a s s. This is a public forum and when we post here we open ourselves up to other peoples thoughts and opinions wether we agree with them or not. If we dont want to deal with opinions that are different than ours then we shouldnt open ourselves up to it by posting. If you feel I was undermining you with humor and picking you apart...I assure you that this was not my intention and am sorry you mistook it to be so. This does not change the fact that I will continue to have my own thoughts and opinions. Sometimes they will be along the same lines as yours and sometimes different. Different does not mean I am taking a kick at you. If I address you personally and you dont understand what I am asking or saying or are offended, tell me and we can be adults about it. I know I am far from perfect. I am sarcastic and opinionated. I am also smart and fair. If I am wrong I will admit it and appologize if you point it out to me. I enjoy discussion and the variety of people and experiences in the world fascinate me. I too have a blog. I choose not to share it as its my personal life and I prefer not to open that up to comments or critisizm from strangers that read it. It is enough that I live it. It is mine to share as I see fit but I understand that if I do allow others to read it, I am opening myself up for their thoughts weather its in a blog comments section or a forum. Maybe I will use the blog section here to tell people a little bit about my life but would do so with the understanding that someone could comment on it as it is a public entitiy.


    Quote Originally Posted by CarolineWH View Post
    Well, I am glad that is over.....And I am sure you are too.....No hard feelings.....
    agreed

  9. #39
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    [quote=Uneeklyme;39927]
    I was young and never sexually touched before in my life...My sailor had only touched my breasts above my sweater...I was able to command this respect from men, yet saying this I was proposed to by two men before him. One a pre Med student and one a Russian Interperter...I was hot and good looking...I dated alot but I had my guidelines...I exploded...He said the right words and used me well...Drinks but I knew what I was doing...Don't kid yourself...All women do...We never had full intercourse...Everything else but....He talked....If he was alive, I would kill him again....Talk about Monica Lewinsky...The stu*idity of a young inexperienced woman is something else. Still appear to be self-confident...I am a sexual joke...and I just love it....

    This relationship she had happened at a camp....Sure it was not right and she was engaged but it happened and is over...I agree she should be tested but why bring another person into it....They would never be the same....

    First of all Sue Johanson and I walk a different walk and talk a different talk....I am hot sexual love, she is facts of lfie....I do not look at the flip side of old age....I open and close doors whenever I want to....My life is bliss....I have everything that a woman could ever want....Maybe all these wonders of life make who we are that more wonderful....We built a new home six years ago...Everying incooperated in it that older age, if we ever get there, could ever want....Everything...3,000 sq. Ft. on the first floor alone...The same on the lower level....Everything in the home is equipped for any inconveniece we might have so I cannot speak of what you say...I have never said you or any other woman was sexually illitirate. I was sexually illitirate...I never knew what a vibrator was until December of 2005. I never read a sex book, never saw the wild life on the Internet...So I am the dumb one here. I don't give lessons...I write but from the people that read my site and the blog site on another Forum, it would floor you...It does me..Scares the devil out of me....I mean it....Why in the name of God do they read me...Then I think.......Maybe, just maybe I give them hope.....

    Again that was just wording to use my cannon...Anyone here knows that I have a short temper which I have learned to curb and when I put a blog on about myself you will understand more about my cannon...I am in love with life....I don't know why I write here...I don't even know why I write...Maybe for one reason....I guess I will blog that too....The nice thing about a blog is I can do it and they don't have to read it....Oh, maybe I will open the comments up, I don't know...First I must find out if I can disarm them or not or else the cannon would come out and God help me when I let loose....So honey, believe me, I am playing it safe....

    I have to go now and take my sailor out for lunch.....Take care, Caroline

  10. #40
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array SorridLives's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SxyRN View Post
    Hi everyone! This is my first time posting to this forum. I need advice on an issue. I have been in a relationship now for the past 3 years. Sex is good but for the last year or so it's been really hard for me to get aroused and in the mood. We started trying out new stuff and it's not that I don't want to do it- it's that I can't get wet enough.
    A few months ago I went on a volunteer mission and fooled around with another volunteer. I can't believe how turned on I was by him!!
    All I keep thinking now it why can't my boyfriend do that for me? Is the spark gone? Is this normal or abnormal?

    HELP!!
    I think it is normal for some couples to get a little bored with each other. However, it seems your BF should get you excited. Maybe you should lead him to do the things you like the most. Maybe he isn't in tune with it.
    La Vita Loca

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