New thread off of the 'is my bf gay?'

**missyann** · 05-13-2008 09:09 PM

After reading one of the threads, I wanted to bring up another similar topic--well...almost the same topic, but I didn't want to avert it all to me. My ex-fiance had certain qualities and habits that made me wonder if he was gay. He was very 'touchy-feely' with all of his friends and would often tease me by holding their hands, hugging, etc (his friends were male as well) because he knew it would make me uncomfortable. While we were engaged, he'd often ditch me or cancel our plans to hang out with a friend who was gay. I finally met this gay friend and the friend was ridiculously rude to me. I then told my ex that I really didn't like his friend and I didn't appreciate him ditching me to hang out with him. My ex got extremely defensive and accused me of hating gay people! It was rather exasperating. After that, he continued to show affection toward his friends around me, trying to make me more angry. I never had sex with him because at the time I was mormon and didn't believe in sex before marriage (don't worry...I got over that phase!)--so I wasn't able to see indications through our sexual relationship. We broke our wedding date off soon after that and I haven't really heard from him again. But I was wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with men and if anyone would agree with me that my ex had gay tendencies?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-14-2008 04:17 AM

Originally Posted by missyann

After reading one of the threads, I wanted to bring up another similar topic--well...almost the same topic, but I didn't want to avert it all to me. My ex-fiance had certain qualities and habits that made me wonder if he was gay. He was very 'touchy-feely' with all of his friends and would often tease me by holding their hands, hugging, etc (his friends were male as well) because he knew it would make me uncomfortable. While we were engaged, he'd often ditch me or cancel our plans to hang out with a friend who was gay. I finally met this gay friend and the friend was ridiculously rude to me. I then told my ex that I really didn't like his friend and I didn't appreciate him ditching me to hang out with him. My ex got extremely defensive and accused me of hating gay people! It was rather exasperating. After that, he continued to show affection toward his friends around me, trying to make me more angry. I never had sex with him because at the time I was mormon and didn't believe in sex before marriage (don't worry...I got over that phase!)--so I wasn't able to see indications through our sexual relationship. We broke our wedding date off soon after that and I haven't really heard from him again. But I was wondering if anyone has had similar experiences with men and if anyone would agree with me that my ex had gay tendencies?

I will say two things. One you will never know unless you lurk where he does and sees him with a guy, kissing etc.

Two thank god you didn't marry him. What a jerk. Sorry, but any guy that disrespects his partner, especially fiancee and finds that is amuzing needs to be kicked to the kurb.

Mmm... If you even think this, possibly very factual in my opinion, get a blood test to ensure you are okay, it will put your mind at ease at the worst.

You deserve better, see it as a "next time" situation, something you are now very wary of and certainly ensure that your respected. That's ****...

Simple.

Lucky your not my younger sister, i'd go lurking his bars and give him what for...

lol.. But true, tactful, but i'm like that.

CW

**SinisterUrge** · 05-14-2008 09:42 AM

This isn't even about being straight or gay, its about being an a$$hole, which he clearly is. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

**Trisalixlycan** · 05-14-2008 11:05 AM

Wow. And to think I was under the impression my BF might be gay just because he likes me in caps and Tshirts...

**missyann** · 05-14-2008 12:06 PM

Originally Posted by Trisalixlycan

Wow. And to think I was under the impression my BF might be gay just because he likes me in caps and Tshirts...

Your thread made me think about this experience with my ex. It's been awhile and I've never really let myself think about him and his possible homosexual tendencies. Your situation seems more sex related. I think your concerns are very valid: butt sex and t-shirt fantasies. However, it seems that the t-shirt fantasies seem common after reading the replies on your thread. But I do tend to freak out at any sign of homosexuality when I'm dating--not that I'm against people being gay by any means! I just don't want to end up dating someone who isn't sure what they're attracted to. Anyhow, I started a new thread on the same topic to avoid the "my boyfriend shows more gay tendencies than your boyfriend" situation...lol. I appreciate all of your responses. Yes, I am very glad I got out of the relationship--I do realize he was a jerk. I was just curious if anyone agreed that he was PROBABLY a little sexually confused.