Thread: selfish guy or just a rabbit

Well I have this guy I really like, like a lot but and weve been messing around for over a year. The reason why weve never dated is because we both just finished our first year of college and we didnt want to be tied down in a relationship. Anyway my problem is that when we have sex he just doesnt pleasure me. Its just that he gets on top, he pumps a couple times, puts on a condom, pumps some more, and then comes. Im never satisfied afterwards but am left fustrated cause hes happy and Im not. We have tried different positions so its not that but I dont know what else to do. HHHEEELLLPPPP!!!!!

Sounds like perhaps he's just not that experienced yet, and is either so turned on by you or the fact that he's actually "doing it" that he can't hold back! The other alternative is premature ejaculation, which some guys do experience.

It probably seems awkward, but if you really like him and want him around, you might want to talk about it before you start having sex. Why not suggest he give you oral or stimulate you with his fingers so that you have an orgasm first, and then let him "pump away."

Or, you could also ask him to go really slow, draw out the penetration and strokes so that he's not jackhammering you, tell him you love it like that (be very sexy and cutesy) and see if he can last longer by going slower.

Another alternative may be to let him come, then fool around some more, and maybe the second time he'll go slower. A lot of guys masturbate first before a date or when they know they're having sex with a girl so that they last longer just a little while later.

My friend dated a guy who was a premature ejaculator (we called him Speedy Gonzalez because that was his last name) and that's really all he could do - and he was very angry and insulted when she brought it up, which I've never been sure she did gracefully or tactfully. So if that's the issue and he knows it, he may just be sensitive.

Even if that's not the issue, be graceful and sensitive. No one wants to hear they're bad in bed, even if they may know it; it's very traumatizing.

And I hate to sound all mothery and preachy, but please make sure the condom's on before he's inside you. You can get pregnant with pre-come, or an STD, pre-come or not.

Get him to slow down hon, or try to slow down. Looks like he is a bit clueless and you might need to teach him a few things. A good way is to have another go once he's come and rested a bit. A guy can't usually go so fast the second time and it will do him good to realise that he can widen his repertoire!