Are Fantasies Normal??

**miffed23** · 05-26-2008 04:23 PM

Hello Lee...

Im feeling youre frustration...in response to your question to fallen, i am going to intrude on the answer

You say that she would prefer 2 women and you because she finds penis' gross...(weird)..but, what she might mean and obviously didnt put very tactfully, is that the female body is 'more beautiful' (im using that loosely)....sooooo, getting inside her head and im probably way off, maybe she seeks something more beautiful, more feminine within your sexual relationship, rather than another man that is naturally more dominant?

I hope that makes some ort of sense, it is making sense in my head but not coming across very well.

Is she a feminine, delicate lady?

**miffed23** · 05-26-2008 04:25 PM

"makes some ort of sense" (sort)

hmmmm, my "s" key doesnt like working sometimes

**rebellee47** · 05-26-2008 05:06 PM

Yes , she is feminine and I understand your meaning. She thinks women parts are beautiful and has said as much. Maybe she is thinking the MMF would be a dominant kinda thing and is not wanting that but she is not opening up and telling me how she really feels. We used toys and she would say she didnt like them but in the heat of things would ask me to get them. that went on for years then about 8-12 months ago she refused to use them and had me trash them . I have tried to bring them back to some extent and she has stood firm so i thought maybe she was tired of the not real thing so I then started thinking of bringing a real one into the picture. I really belive if she would let herself go she would enjoy it becasue she had very long and explosive orgasms with the toys but I also know how much she likes to have oral sex preformed on her and i think she would be a prime candidate for a FF thing also.If that is making any sense...Lee

**rebellee47** · 05-26-2008 05:11 PM

Bottom Line: She will not open up and tell me what she really feels??? Dont know how to go about getting her to do this?? Any Ideas?? I think it may be a religiuos hangup of some sort and she thinks it is wrong even though we are not very active she was raised baptist and they are dead set against any type of sexual exploration. I also think if we didnt have kids at home she might be able to open up if we were alone alot. Even though our kids are in college they are still at home for now..Lee

C · 05-26-2008 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by rebellee47

Caroline,

Lord I hope they are or I am in one heap of trouble.....

I expected nothing less from you Caroline

, You are a Woman after my own Heart!!!.

...Lee

Lee: I hope that you can find that special place that you are looking for... I believe it is there for all women...When a woman is able to live in lust, she has finally found herself......But letting that tiger loose can be a fight......Much luck..Caroline

**Fallen1** · 05-26-2008 11:43 PM

Originally Posted by rebellee47

Fallen1,

If it is not personel , would you like to share some of the reasons for not wanting to? Just curious might be that my wife has some of the same ones or might help me see another point of view? If not thats fine , thanks for the input...Lee

Well first and foremost I don't think I could do for the simple fact that I would feel as though I was cheating on him. He and I discussed that point when we were talking about this fantasy of his. He said his take on it was that if he gave me "permission" to do it then it was not cheating. I can see his thoughts on that but it does not change the way I feel about it. To me it's still cheating - I will have slept with another man and broken the bond that we share.

Others here have made this point before regarding threesomes - say we were to do it, then at some point I may find out he has slept with another female, he could say "well you did it with so-in-so, so I figured I could do it with her". In other words use the fact that even though it was his fantasy and I had his "permission" to do it, he could sleep with whom ever because I had with another man.

I also don't think I could do it because I have no desire to sleep with anyone but him.

**ChelseaRenee** · 05-27-2008 01:08 AM

Originally Posted by rebellee47

Bottom Line: She will not open up and tell me what she really feels??? Dont know how to go about getting her to do this?? Any Ideas?? I think it may be a religiuos hangup of some sort and she thinks it is wrong even though we are not very active she was raised baptist and they are dead set against any type of sexual exploration. I also think if we didnt have kids at home she might be able to open up if we were alone alot. Even though our kids are in college they are still at home for now..Lee

I think she's made it pretty clear how she feels. She doesn't seem interested, and I think it's kind of REALLY rude you're asking for advice on how to "get her to do this". And to be totally honest, I would feel completely the same way she does in not wanting to do it. And I have NO religious hang up's-I'm completely atheist, and was raised this way. I DON'T have kids in my home, but that certainly wouldn't be a deciding factor one way or the other about this.

Is it really that strange for your wife to not be turned on by the idea of you watching her sleep with other men? A fantasy is fine, I guess, but if my partner ever asked more than once he'd probably be picking himself up off the ground (okay, not REALLY, but come on...). Say she had a fantasy about watching YOU sleep with another man, and was totally dumbfounded as to why this wasn't cool with you, and went as far as asking an internet message board for advice on how to get you to do it! Seems a little strange, don't it. And just to reiterate, this is NOT to say that your fantasy is weird. It's probably not, and IF SHE WERE INTERESTED sharing it with her would probably not be a bad idea. But this isn't like when guys fantasize about their wives going down on them while in the theater, or in a public place...this is bringing a stranger into your marital bed. She has every right and reason to say heck no.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-27-2008 05:56 AM

Originally Posted by ChelseaRenee

I think she's made it pretty clear how she feels. She doesn't seem interested, and I think it's kind of REALLY rude you're asking for advice on how to "get her to do this". And to be totally honest, I would feel completely the same way she does in not wanting to do it. And I have NO religious hang up's-I'm completely atheist, and was raised this way. I DON'T have kids in my home, but that certainly wouldn't be a deciding factor one way or the other about this.

Well not entirely true... She has shown interest in MFF..

If someone can not come on a Forum to try to understand also if their thought are, well their thoughts, or over the top, why is that a problem?

I think his mind is in overdrive, is it this,is it that.. from answers he may realise that it's just not a fantasy that she wants.

Is it really that strange for your wife to not be turned on by the idea of you watching her sleep with other men? A fantasy is fine, I guess, but if my partner ever asked more than once he'd probably be picking himself up off the ground (okay, not REALLY, but come on...). Say she had a fantasy about watching YOU sleep with another man, and was totally dumbfounded as to why this wasn't cool with you, and went as far as asking an internet message board for advice on how to get you to do it! Seems a little strange, don't it. And just to reiterate, this is NOT to say that your fantasy is weird. It's probably not, and IF SHE WERE INTERESTED sharing it with her would probably not be a bad idea. But this isn't like when guys fantasize about their wives going down on them while in the theater, or in a public place...this is bringing a stranger into your marital bed. She has every right and reason to say heck no.

I believe she has already said "heck no"...

I can see your point absolutely. Sometimes, people are "stretching at "straw" to get what they want.

I have read many a post/thread from this person and he can't get answers, any answers, so keeps trying to work it out.

A bit different when one communicates and the other doesn't.

I will state, i agree, you have stated "how do i get her to do it?" SHe doesn't want to pure and simple and Chelsea there is correct... Don't try to force something that is not there.

According to you, it was there years ago and in my reply go back, and bring it back.

NO ONE needs to be involved, this will cause you heatache and possible marriage split.

CW

**ChelseaRenee** · 05-27-2008 06:04 AM

Originally Posted by CHANDLERS WISH

I believe she has already said "heck no"...

I can see your point absolutely. Sometimes, people are "stretching at "straw" to get what they want.

I have read many a post/thread from this person and he can't get answers, any answers, so keeps trying to work it out.

A bit different when one communicates and the other doesn't.

I will state, i agree, you have stated "how do i get her to do it?" SHe doesn't want to pure and simple and Chelsea there is correct... Don't try to force something that is not there.

According to you, it was there years ago and in my reply go back, and bring it back.

NO ONE needs to be involved, this will cause you heatache and possible marriage split.

CW

Oh, the the only point I was trying to make with the message board thing was that he was pushing it so hard that he had resorted to asking strangers how to make his wife do this. Heck, CLEARLY I love getting/giving advice on a message board, so it's certainly not about getting advice about this that i found strange, rather, him asking how to get her to cave to his whims on a message board.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 05-27-2008 06:21 AM

Originally Posted by ChelseaRenee

Oh, the the only point I was trying to make with the message board thing was that he was pushing it so hard that he had resorted to asking strangers how to make his wife do this. Heck, CLEARLY I love getting/giving advice on a message board, so it's certainly not about getting advice about this that i found strange, rather, him asking how to get her to cave to his whims on a message board.

I saw your point, just reading past stuff, i kind of feel this is silly frustration if you get my jist.. CLEARLY, i find as, stated, your posts and threads, (threads) can't recall, but posts, value. Stated that before...

Sure, i read the last reply too and was suprised to see " how do i make her do it?" There in all sinscerity, ( although left this thread a while just read) sounds well, all of a sudden "lee " you've made your mind up for her.

Sometimes, i am a Gemini, reply, setting up something for work, sending my guy an email, typical gemini, post a reply then a second...

True... lol., have a look? It's a pattern.

Purely because i reply with what i see, then think after, then read a reply and see more....

So, from all i have ever read from this threader going bacvk, it was "how do i make things, BETTER"... ?????

In retrospect you make a valid point " now it's how to i get it to happen", difference, in my opinion ( only an opinion) it's not for self gain, but a genuine, negativity and trying to find a resolution be it write or wrong...

Lee, once again, i can only say, people see what they see and state, i saw what was just stated, and hoping, i am correct with my "thoughts" and therefore, again, go back to the beginning, take sex out of the picture and concentrate on laughter and love... The rest follows again.

Sorry CR, we all speak differently but i knew what you were saying, just should have elaborated, as now.....

CW

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