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Thread: ?she masturbates a lot?

  1. #1
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    Question ?she masturbates a lot?


    hello ladies,

    I am a guy, in my mid 20's and I dont really have friends that talk about this kind of stuff so I figure I'd look for advice online.

    Aight, my girlfriend and I have regular sex about 5 times a week give or take. She gets off during sex as well as I so i don't think its a sex quality issue. We live together and have been dating for 4 months. We have good communication and everything is going well except...

    In the last 7 nights I have woken up to her masturbating, even multiple times in the same night. Sometimes after passing up sex. The first couple times I thought it was sexy and just went back to sleep but now it is beginning to bother me. I'm not really sure why it bothers me but it gives me a sick feeling for some reason. She doesn't know that I know. I just lay there till I fall back asleep, if i can.

    I'm not positive that she is really doing it, but the noises dont lie, and if i roll over her hand moves away and I hear the elastic in her shorts snap. When she is done she usually gets up to use the bathroom. I can also feel the movements of her hand.


    I've been in several long relationships and have dealt with anything like this lol

    Every once and a while wouldn't bother me.


    ********What should I do or say? Am I over reacting?

    ********any advice will help and if u have any questions about the situation i'd be happy to answer them Thanks

  2. #2
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array hello_pitty's Avatar
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    Why do you go back to sleep???!! Join in darn it!! Maybe she wants more than one helping a day...trust me, I've been in her shoes!! But if she starts pushing you away, then there might be a problem.

    The only way to know whats going on is to talk to her. Ask her if she feels shes not getting enough sex, ask her if you can join in....heck ask her if she wants a dildo!!

    I'm sorry hun, but sometimes women like to explore themselves, maybe shes thinking about an earlier sack session and she wants more!!

    If you can't perform, ask her if you can masturbate her instead!! Lend a "helping hand" **giggle**

    But all in all, I wouldn't worry about it at all, it's normal. If you let it eat you up, you might end up hurting yourself in the end. like I said, as long as she isn't refusing sex or pushing you away or avoiding you, then there's nothing to worry about....she's just hungry for seconds
    "I might be a little young, but honey I ain't naive"
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  3. #3
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    well some women when they are having sex they want more,or could she be faking it'with you or is she pretending she doing it

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    Quote Originally Posted by hello_pitty View Post
    Why do you go back to sleep???!! Join in darn it!! Maybe she wants more than one helping a day...trust me, I've been in her shoes!! But if she starts pushing you away, then there might be a problem.

    The only way to know whats going on is to talk to her. Ask her if she feels shes not getting enough sex, ask her if you can join in....heck ask her if she wants a dildo!!

    I'm sorry hun, but sometimes women like to explore themselves, maybe shes thinking about an earlier sack session and she wants more!!

    If you can't perform, ask her if you can masturbate her instead!! Lend a "helping hand" **giggle**

    But all in all, I wouldn't worry about it at all, it's normal. If you let it eat you up, you might end up hurting yourself in the end. like I said, as long as she isn't refusing sex or pushing you away or avoiding you, then there's nothing to worry about....she's just hungry for seconds
    thanks for your input

    It's hard to break the ice when she is trying hard to fake sleeping. What do I say when she denys it or starts "pushing me away."

    She knows I'm always ready to do it and we have sex once or twice a day. she gets off about half of the times we have sex. She has a dildo and a vibrator which we don't use together very often, she uses them when im gone.

    We talk about everything, but she purposely hides this and that is why it bothers me. I know she will deny it when I try to talk to her. Do you think she wants it to stay hidden? If so then I shouldn't bring it up right?

  5. #5
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    What she is doing is completely normal. Many women masturbate both before having sex and after. It stimulates them and makes them more erotic...A woman can have many orgasms...This makes her aware of her sexual capacity and a better lover in the long run...By doing this she finds each and every part of her hot sexual places of orgasm..This way she is able to pass this on to her partner so that he can pleasure her there... Her problem comes with getting these words out of her mouth.... This is not easy..It is the hard part of sexual togetherness....The voice of intimacy that cannot speak.....Embarrassment.....Too private so it stays hidden.....

    It may take a woman years to talk to her partner about her intimate self and her sexual wants....But oh, when she does......She will have then opened the gates to the kingdom of sensual and erotic lust....

    Just my thoughts...Take care, Caroline

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Uneeklyme's Avatar
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    If you are sexually satisfied does it matter if she is masturbating? I mean, if she isnt turning you down or turning away from you. If your needs are being met...

    I have to agree with some others here, roll over and give her a helping hand. If she pulls away then discuss it with her. I gather from your post that you dont feel sexually threatened so much as it makes you angry that she does it? Why does it make you angry? Many women can be ready to go again in no time flat whereas men take a little time to recoup for the next round. Possible its just her way of getting through until your ready again?

    I know it can be tough to have a conversation about something so intimate but take a deep breath and dive in. Start with actually confirming that is what she is doing. She may very well be asleep or on the edge of asleep and when you move it jolts her awake enough to realize what she is doing and stop. I personally have a habit of tickling the inside of my thigh while falling asleep. I am told I continue this in my sleep sometimes. Just a relaxing habit. Like rocking which I also do when I sleep alone. If you confirm thats what she is doing, ask her if she is sexually satisfied. If she says yes, believe her. Ask her why she is doing it and ask her if you can help.

    Its already an issue or you wouldnt be here asking about it. Masturbation is not a bad thing unless it is interfering with sexual relations with your partner. I gather this is not the case for you and her. Your anger or resentment will only grow though and only she can tell you what and why she does what she does. It may put your mind at ease or you may get one heck of a sexual deal out of it.

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    December 2008 "Poster of the Month" Array miffed23's Avatar
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    How long do your sessions go on for? Do you give her lots of foreplay? Do you feel her pelvic muscles contract when she has an orgasm?

    I think she might fake it or (hopefully) im with caroline, she is just a hot lady that wants to multiple her orgasms.
    “As you regonise that you already own the wholeness you seek, and no one outside you can give you more than you already are, dysfunctional situations will evaporate like bad dreams exposed to the morning sun.”

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array FionaDiaz's Avatar
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    I do this... sometimes I like to masturbate before sex because the second orgasm comes quicker and harder, and sometimes I do it afterwards even if the sex is amazing because I want a bit more fun.

    As for giving up sex for masturbation... it might not be that she passed to masturbate, but instead wasn't in the mood and then later on in the night she was in the mood... but thought you were already asleep!

    Of course, talking to her would be the ideal thing to do... but I agree she will likely deny it. Maybe you can join in, as someone else said. If she pushes you away you should confront her about it.

    Don't take it is an insult, she doesn't do this to hurt you. Maybe she isn't in the mood for actually sex, just for stimulation and orgasm (and doesn't want to recieve oral because she will feel the need to return the favor).

    Best of luck!

  9. #9
    Administrator Array Little's Avatar
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    Funny how different these responses are than a question about a man masturbating in bed and passing up sex. They're thoughtful and bring up important questions.
    The bottom line seems to be communication. If she won't talk about it, what can you do? It's frustrating, I know. Good luck in resolving.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little View Post
    Funny how different these responses are than a question about a man masturbating in bed and passing up sex. They're thoughtful and bring up important questions.
    The bottom line seems to be communication. If she won't talk about it, what can you do? It's frustrating, I know. Good luck in resolving.
    She is not passing up sex, she has had sex...That is the difference between a man and a woman masturbating....BUT she still has not allowed him into her special place in her mind...It still says NO ADMITTANCE....She is not ready to talk or have him roll over and want to join her...Her's is a private place of unknown pleasure and only when she is willing to include him will that door in her mind open to let him in......I could write more on this but we are now leaving for shopping and out to lunch.....

    A woman's mind is a delicious place to be....She can give of herself and open up, only when she is willing to let herself free.....Of course these are just my thoughts....TC, C

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