Thread: I am new & need sex advice.

The reason you are getting more male response than woman is that women are hindered....They are silent...Men are bold...Women keep their hot sexual secrets to themselves...Mostly because many of them have never admitted to them....

How do you truly break free? Or how do you open that door in the back of your mind to let the tiger out...Like you I had a minimum of sexual experience before marriage...Only one man penetrated me...My husband...Oh, I dated a lot, but I think I was so used to saying NO that I had a hard time finding the word "yes" in my vocabulary...

For many years we had this wonderful marriage...I was good and we were sexual, but the best part of me was hidden inside that wanted to come out and be what I truly wanted to be..I believe what I speak about is what many women are, but they have this half as*ed chastity belt on most of their life and after a while get used to it and through the years stop enjoying sex. They miss this sexual bliss that they were created for...What a terrible shame...

You got a hot man...If you see this than other women do...So honey, you had better get better than they are or they are gonna go down on him and get him and love him to death....BUT you are the one that he married...So become them...Throw the good girl out the door and invite him into see the new woman that you are...Do sexual things...Have a couple drinks if you want to...Go in bed and be in the hot sexual doggy position nice and shaved and present to him...Have your butt up in the air and tell him to lick you until you moan with want....Tell him to pinch your nipples like you want them pinched...Suck him and drive him wild...Make him see in you all the women who want him....When you are in bed and going to have sex spread your legs wide open for him...Raise them in the air and show him your inner soul...Lay at the end of the bed spread wide open for him...Be different...Show him his woman and invite him in...This is what makes sex fun, either that or I have missed the boat....To me this is what a wonderful marriage is...That is what makes a woman smile and a man glow with pride....That is the street where I live....

So you asked for a woman's opinion.....I gave you mine...I have kept one man happier than life itself by being this woman....And honey, I am a classy lady...Been this lady for 50 married years this November....I just plain drive him wild.....Take care and my best to you and your lover, Caroline

I have heard more men than not say they feel rejected and angry, not good enough, hurt, unloved, unwanted...whatever...when their partner turns them down. They can deal with it on occasion but continuously... they tend to stop trying and start looking to different outlets whatever they may be. Porn, prostitutes, co-workers...

Have you talked to your doctor about why your drive might be so low? Hormones, stress, fatigue? Get a physical and make sure its not a physical problem preventing your desire.

Being female I cant really say what a man might feel in the situation where the past keeps getting in the way of my present and future but from my female POV, when a man "compares" or reflects to the past (your past relationship makes you skittish and left scars) it really p*sses me off. I am not his past and I want me to be the reason they act like they do, not some ex that messed with their heads. If they feel I am messing with them, fine, blame me for it but leave the ex out of it. I am here, I am now and I don't want to continually pay for what your ex did then type of thing. Seek counseling to help you get past this.

Now, I am assuming you are asking for tips that might help you get past your low sex drive not tips on how to blow his mind in bed. That will come later as you grow into your relationship. I find that the more I have sex the more I want it. If I don't have sex, I masturbate. Maybe you could make it a point to have sex at least once a week weather you want it or not. Usually, once you start, your pleasure kicks in and overides the not wanting to desire. Dont act like its a chore. Let yourself go and really try to enjoy it. Also, masturbate at least once a week. Learn to enjoy what sex and orgasm have to offer. Learn your body and learn to discover the pleasure you can receive from it. Once you start blowing your own mind, the rest tends to follow. Most women find that their bodies do amazing things and tend to want more eventually. Slow process of learning but not slower than nothing. If your husband knows you are willing to have sex not less than once a week, it may take the edge of some of the rejection. Eventually, once a week could work itself into twice a week and so on. Yes, your husband needs to understand that it takes time but it will show him you are proactively taking time.

hystorm: my husband is VERY attentive. He is, by far, the best lover I could ask for. None of this is solely his problem; it's mainly me, unfortunately.

& thank you! That is a great idea. I've got some lingerie hiding in the back of my closet. I'll have to break it out. ;]

Originally Posted by Uneeklyme

I have heard more men than not say they feel rejected and angry, not good enough, hurt, unloved, unwanted...whatever...when their partner turns them down. They can deal with it on occasion but continuously... they tend to stop trying and start looking to different outlets whatever they may be. Porn, prostitutes, co-workers...

Have you talked to your doctor about why your drive might be so low? Hormones, stress, fatigue? Get a physical and make sure its not a physical problem preventing your desire.

Being female I cant really say what a man might feel in the situation where the past keeps getting in the way of my present and future but from my female POV, when a man "compares" or reflects to the past (your past relationship makes you skittish and left scars) it really p*sses me off. I am not his past and I want me to be the reason they act like they do, not some ex that messed with their heads. If they feel I am messing with them, fine, blame me for it but leave the ex out of it. I am here, I am now and I don't want to continually pay for what your ex did then type of thing. Seek counseling to help you get past this.

Now, I am assuming you are asking for tips that might help you get past your low sex drive not tips on how to blow his mind in bed. That will come later as you grow into your relationship. I find that the more I have sex the more I want it. If I don't have sex, I masturbate. Maybe you could make it a point to have sex at least once a week weather you want it or not. Usually, once you start, your pleasure kicks in and overides the not wanting to desire. Dont act like its a chore. Let yourself go and really try to enjoy it. Also, masturbate at least once a week. Learn to enjoy what sex and orgasm have to offer. Learn your body and learn to discover the pleasure you can receive from it. Once you start blowing your own mind, the rest tends to follow. Most women find that their bodies do amazing things and tend to want more eventually. Slow process of learning but not slower than nothing. If your husband knows you are willing to have sex not less than once a week, it may take the edge of some of the rejection. Eventually, once a week could work itself into twice a week and so on. Yes, your husband needs to understand that it takes time but it will show him you are proactively taking time.

Where years ago I would have thought that I had a lower sex drive then he did, I found this was not true...Many times a woman covers up what is inside her...She just can't set herself free...Talked to doctor's or nurse's can be like talking to a blank wall. Sure they can help with medical problems but sexual problems is not their expertise...Hystorm and I offered some sexual tips.....Our choice....