The male orgasm is elusive for me...

**what2do** · 06-20-2008 05:51 PM

I am a 31yr old male and I cannot have an O through sex. The short story is I was a virgin until I was 30. I then became sexually active only to find I cannot have an O ( I have been with 3 people since). Needless to say my ex left me because of this. Is this how all women would react to this?
I thought they would love for a guy to give them infinite pleasure? I think it can be corrected I just need to retrain my body to the real sensations. I know guys mostly complain about premature but what about the 3% of guys like me that have a hard time.
My question is: Would this turn a women off completly? If so I may have to keep condoms on and fake it. Who would have thought a guy would be saying this.
I did get off once through a BJ once but it took alot of work...Thanks for listening.

**damd** · 06-21-2008 02:21 AM

Is it from lack of sensation? Do you use lube? Do you jack?

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-21-2008 02:33 AM

Good questions regarding the above...

Do you in fact masterbate and cum? Or, simply not at all?

For the question pertaining to a woman's thoughts.

I think you need to be open and honest. Firstly, she probably will be over the moon.

However, you need to understand that you can't keep going, fast and hard if i can be blunt trying to, to satisfy your needs there, as frankly she will just in the end feel it's going on and on, and nothing, a woman can get sore, dry.

If, you are straight forward and honest. Point 1)..

If you perhaps, stop, and do oral, start, stop and do oral, watch her reactions, it actually may assist you further in your dream. Worse scenario, assist in hers.

It may be that you need to check this out more for yourself, and unfortunately, go without the finale.

Never fake it.

Women and i believe men both equality hate that.

Perhaps, if you have even after a long time, done so from BJ, after the above suggestion, have her try that, she may be more than open to her playing a part by that stage, and you can always try again, if not,

I think it's just the on-going wam bam i want to that she would not like.

Personally...

CW

**miffed23** · 06-21-2008 04:51 AM

Noway, you would not turn me off...could it be that its now become a mental inssue? Not saying youre mental...

..... just suggesting that maybe youre putting too much pressure on yourself now to ejaculate?

My advice; experiment. Find a woman thats going to spend a lot of time sexually with you. Ill echo others, dont keep 'pumping' away - it will just become a drag for both of you...keep it varied...try tantric sex, the focus isnt on having an orgasm, its about the pleasure that comes with the build up....

Are you actually enjoying sex, minus the pressure i feel you have put upon yourself...does it feel good? Can you stay erect?

**what2do** · 06-21-2008 08:58 AM

I do J/O and have recently started using lub. I am also cutting down on the time i do. I can cum manually everytime. I do know marathon sex can be good but not all the time.
I enjoy sex but if it is too lubricated I just don't get the feeling I need.
I think miffed23 is right. I need to find a partner that will do more than once in a while for me to get this over with.
Should I use visual stimulation or move from that also?

**jonny** · 06-21-2008 10:25 AM

So are you not getting alot of friction?

This could be an issue.

**anonymouswhitefemale** · 06-21-2008 12:38 PM

It takes time for men to get used to the difference in sensation from masturbation and sex, which is why many many men who lose their virginity at say... 19+ won't come the first few times they have sex. The longer the masturbation and lack of real sex the guy gets, I imagine the more of an issue this becomes. Don't worry, you're on the right side of it, imagine being a premature ejaculator.

Just find someone, get comfortable, take your time, intersperse with other activities, help yourself along the way, get oral... blah blah blah.

It will improve with time.

**jonny** · 06-21-2008 02:02 PM

19+ won't come the first few times they have sex.

That's news to me. I've never heard about that.

**what2do** · 06-21-2008 02:46 PM

My member is slightly curved upwards too, maybe this has something to do with it also. I don't seem to get enough friction either.
I think a good girl in a real relationship will help alot. So far doggystyle gives me the best feeling. Is this the same for most guys???

**miffed23** · 06-21-2008 02:51 PM

Originally Posted by jonny

That's news to me. I've never heard about that.

Im going to throw a bone and say its the same for women.....it makes sense that the more a woman masterbates, the harder itll become to orgasm through penetration...as you get used to your own touch (so to speak), it can be a completely different sensation to that of a mans touch.

what2do - i dont think you have anything to worry about, find yourself a lady that knows how to work herself and yourself in the bedroom department and you'll soon be jumping through hoops...and try not to put too much pressure upon yourself..

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