yes now that he knows after being married for 25 yrs!!!! the fact that for the best part of our marriage he didnt know that i didnt know is one thing, the fact that he took it for granted that i did orgasm is another.

This is only my personal opinion and nothing more, so take it with a gain of dirt.
It sounds like you both are sexually abnormal! You with no sexual excitement or feeling and him with no clue if you are orgasming or even enjoying it. (mind you I said sexually abnormal, not you personally abnormal.)
However, you both have made it 25 years! Thats a lot longer than most will make it on this planet!
My recommendation at this point would be to just go with it and arrange a set of rules where you both can get some enjoyment and togetherness time.
Meaning, tell him if he will give you a foot rub/back rub or whatever it is you really enjoy most, then you will give him sexually whatever he enjoys most. That way you both are getting pleasured, are together when you do it and both come away happy.

I would make sure that if he agrees to do whatever, say a foot rub, that you get it first and not after sex. A man who knows he will get sex for X trade/reason will flap his arms and fly to the moon to cut a small slice of cheese for a grilled sandwich before sex whereas, after sex, he will offer to walk to the cupboard and offer you a stale cracker!

Best of luck to you.

right!!! so both of us is happy then are we if we do that? i dont think so really do you? surely there must be something we/i can do to find out whats going on here or not?

I think it is time to explore and experiment a little.

You obviously feel there is something missing and want to experience an orgasm with him. It might be a good starting point to explore your own body, If you grew up thinking women were non sexual you may have missed out on doing this, I'm only guessing, which is how young teens start to build their sexual desire and know what they like.

Try some new things with him too. Get him to give you oral sex. If you haven't experienced this before I would be surprised if it doesn't get you feeling more sexual. You are going to have to try and let go of your thoughts of being non sexual though. You can do this maybe by looking at visual sexual stimula, magazines, porn movies etc. you may be saying ew! but just try it.

Sometimes dressing sexy can get you in the mood.

It sounds like your husband wants to take you 'there' , but may not be that experienced himself. You can learn about what makes your body tick together. You can look at it as being frustrating, and I'm sure it is in a way, but try to see it as a new journey and adventure you are going on together.

Good luck and have fun with it.

tt

yes for the last few yrs we have tried all this stuff without any effect at all for me, yes hes done the oral thing, best way to put me to sleep very quickly is al i can say about that, i couldnt even tell you what it is that he does when down there, i really dont know, i cant feel much of anything particularly, plus the only reason that he now does that is because its in the books that we bought and it states in there that is what he should be doing.

What about sex toys. Focus them on your cliteris for best result.

If that doesn't work, I'm not sure what will?

It sounds like the issue is partly psychological and possibly a lack of sensation in that area. would you feel comfortable consulting a Dr?

you sound very discouraged but please don't give up. You came to this sight for answers and hopefully someone can give you the ones you are looking for.

Many women find it difficult to orgasm durring straight sex, it can be the sexual play that is more rewarding. explore your own body to see if anything feels better than others. The cliteris would be a good place to start.

tt

as i said before i have enough to open a shop with, they just buzz thats all!! i have been to see the doctors about this but they insist that there isnt anything wrong at alll, erm how can they tell that without looking at me? so she sent me to a sex therapist who was as good as a chocolate fire guard! that woman had us doing sensate focus for 6 months, when we returned every week all she could say was more of the same, i dont think her book that she was reading from told her what to do if that had no effect. as you can guess we stopped going to see her after that. ive had my hormornes checked and was even put on testosterone implants for 9 months before i ended up asking what they where meant to be doing as i couldnt tell, got took of them, then given viagra by my doctor, all they did was my face got hot like i had been slapped, but she told me lies about getting them anyway, so because i complained to her boss they then took me off her list and now i have no doctor at all.

forgot to say, yes i have read that my clit is meant to have some reaction or feeling but the only sensation i have would be similar to if you rubbed the tip of your nose, i.e. a dead loose skin feeling thats all . i didnt even know what or if i had a clit was til a few yrs back either