So my girlfriend had an incident a couple years ago in which she was cut by a finger nail during foreplay (other guy), and had to go to the emergency room. We have been dating for 8 months and have great sex, however, she has a major fear of stimulation by hand. I have tried to discuss this in a sensitive manner, however, she gets embarrased, anxious, and feels like she loses a lot of confidence. The hardest part is that she does not want to discuss it. I have been understanding but I believe that basic, gentle stimulation by hand is normal.

How can we work on discussing and fixing the issue? This is begining to cause problems in our sex life.

Then don't push it!
If she does not want to, then she does not want to.
Just show her you can do it even better with a tongue.
I fully understand it’s a rush and turn-on for a man to finger, maybe even more pleasurable for the guy than the girl. But, why the would you want to push something for your own pleasure that will take her the other way?

My wife was fingered when in her pre-teens on 2 occasions and has since never let me do it. Sure I think it sucks, but she allows me to do whatever orally and I have just as much fun as does she. The ONLY way you will ever get any finger action is when she is so turned on that she does not care and even needs it to finish during oral. You may try while tonguing her to gently slip in a finger to reach her G-Spot but I would use extreme caution as you may end up getting smacked and not getting anything for some time!
Maybe even consider when the time arises, simply asking her permission to enter and see how it goes.

But giving her about it outright will quickly get you nothing!!

Good luck.

Try wearing a well-lubed vinyl/nitrate medical glove. You can get them at most drug stores in 50-pair boxes.

I really don't like to recieve oral... it's not great for me and I cannot get turned on by it for some reason. So we do other things for foreplay that we both enjoy.

Just figure something else out if she doesn't like you to use your hands.

I think she sounds suspect as to just not wanting to be fingered or have oral....If you plan on being serious with her this must be talked about...Don't push on boldly to any other sexual acts until this is brought front and center...She may be sexually inhibited and this is her way of handling it...Remember the inside of a woman is the most sacred place that she has and letting herself break free can sometimes be bigger than any man can ever imagine......But once you have taken the plunge, you have then discovered heaven...

Just my thoughts...Caroline