Thread: Orgasm Problems.

I'm frustrated, but more importantly she's frustrated because she's never reached orgasm. Please please please help us!

Past:
-I'm her 2nd lover
-with her 1st she only enjoyed sex once and never orgasmed, apparently everytime they had sex which was roughly ten times it hurt like for her.
-she's never done anything more sexual, than oral and sex in standard positions.
-She's barely ever masterbated... maybe like 5 times she says and she's never reached orgasm. She feels awkard doing it.

Present:
-We have sex whenever we get alone time so about 2-3 times a week.
-I live with my parents so its hard to find that alone time
-She says sex feels very good with me, and enjoys it with me than when she did it with her ex.
-Absolutely, loves me going down on her before sex, i try to stimulate her g-spot by doing the "Come here" motion, while licking, kissing, and sucking her clit.
-I have a very hard time finding her clit... I can barely feel it... i dont even know that its there... I generally lick and kiss the area where it should be.
-She loves me touching her legs, her body, playing with her nipples/breasts, sucking her neck etc.
-she loves me grabbing her bum and legs while i'm thrusting.
-I can last long, sometimes so long that I can't even cum because of my ability to control it.

Future:
-we're thinking about getting a vibrator for her clit while i have sex with her, and some lube.
-Also i order "The Science of Orgasm" off amazon and hope that helps.



Please please help me! I love her so much and i want her to experience an orgasm and I don't know what to do!

Well one thing that jumped out at me is not being able to find her clitoris. The clitoris is (secretly!) wishbone-shaped, but only the end of it is outside of the skin. The rest of it runs underneath the labia. Check out a diagram that shows it; it's interesting and makes oral a lot more fun
And don't worry. If she's not worried about never having orgasmed, don't make her worry about it. That'll just make it worse. Let her enjoy sex and try out the vibrator. Let it happen when it's going to happen, though truthfully there's a small chance it might never happen. She's not dysfunctional and neither are you less of a man or anything like that. Go with the flow.

I hate to say this but before one goes on a trip, its good to know where one's driving. Look up all you can online. Personally I enjoy reading cosmo just to see how the other sex thinks. Toys are awesome and if she's receptive then let her try the toy(s) with you present. Talk about erotic! Practice makes perfect. It also makes for a lot of wonderful exploratory sex!!!

How long have you been together, sexually?

Firstly, give it time. Like Little said, dont make her feel like she should be worried about never reaching an orgasm.

Again, as Little said, it jumped out at me that you cant locate her clitoris...the first thing that came to mind was that she mustn't been completely aroused, as the clitoris swells and hardens as shes becomes sexually turned on, so you should be able to feel it...unless youre looking in the wrong place

As a woman, to reach orgasm, you need to be completely at ease with your partner, possess the ability to relax fully and enjoy whats happening to you.

So, all you can do, as was previously said, is educate yourself and help her to feel comfortable. Let herself explore herself, in a new relationship; its much easier to pleasure yourself than have someone else do it, as you know what feels good for you. She can then report back to you.

For now, reassure her that pleasuring herself isnt something to be ashamed of. Keep being as attentive as you are being, this'll help her relax and trust you.

Good luck....give it time...

why don't you use some sex toys vibrators to get the Orgasm there are lots of sex toys out there.

Okay, for an update. We did fool around some more and i found her clit, its just extremely small and I can feel it more the more she's aroused but its still really small. Is there anyway i can edit(update) my original post?

It’s possible she just has a tiny clitoris.
Kind a like a guy with a very small penis. I can't imagine that it would be an issue but it appears it is. Remember women don't like total attention to the clit. It must be random and light until she is ready for full on. If you go right to her magic pearl and nothing else, that will be a turn off of sorts. Try teasing it and run your tongue towards it and at the last second avoid it...will drive her nuts!

Random attention is the key. When she is ready, try doing the A, B, Cs on her with your tongue. Seems to do wonders.

Above all, stress to her that you simply enjoy having sex with her and being intimate with her and couldn’t care about if you or her...Mostly you even reach climax. This is kind of a false statement, but you must get her to stop focusing on reaching orgasm and focus on just enjoying being together, etc.

Once that state has been reached, she will come...sort to speak!

Is she on any medication that alters her moods, for depression, anxiety, etc. Too many times I have seen this over looked as many medications simply shut down the orgasm response in the brain.

Good luck.

Originally Posted by Hystorm

Is she on any medication that alters her moods, for depression, anxiety, etc. Too many times I have seen this over looked as many medications simply shut down the orgasm response in the brain.

She is not on any medication for depression only birth control.

She does have a problem with wanting to orgasm so badly, and she probably only thinks about it so therefore we talk about it a lot.. I don't try to pressure her but she gets frustrated that naturally frustrates me. I'll try to get her to read these posts. I'll also try to assure her to just enjoy it and not think about orgasm. thank you. Keep the tips coming.