Thread: Looking for Support

that was very sweet, sweet lady. I will give it a try...and will report back. i don't think this is going to be a short journey, but i'm in.

thanks for the support. i will follow up in time.

Originally Posted by wouldlovetoloveit

that was very sweet, sweet lady. I will give it a try...and will report back. i don't think this is going to be a short journey, but i'm in.

thanks for the support. i will follow up in time.

My pleasure dear!

No matter how long the journey is, if you fall 7 times, get up 7 times and keep going.

Hi welcome to the forum

I would suggest a trip to your doctor have some tests done such as a thyroid test since it is one of the 3 hormonal glandes that regulates the body. Maybe you have already been down that avenue?

I think you mentioned having a baby in the last 8 monthes. Where you prior to your pregnancy suffering from depression? Since your pregnancy have you suffered depression?

The reason i mention depression because my bf went thru a period of this and his desire was much lower to non exsistant. In fact he felt so out of control of his own life that sex was the area he was controling. In the beginning it created a lot of problems for us cause i really felt he was being selfish and controlling of our relationship. Once we realized he was suffering from depression / anxiety then I became supportive and understood the situation. He was given new medication that actually helped the anxiety he was suffering he could relax and breath no longer felt that need to control.

Comparable to ppl who suffer eating disorders it is not all about being fat or thin it is about an area of their life they can control only they can control the amount of food that is consumed or not at all.

Same as sex only we can control how much or how little we are giving and getting. So if this is not a physical aliment then look with in and be honest to try and resolve this mental block. seek out professional help.

I agree with the others take the pressure off yourself and your mate. Relax and enjoy each other. I wish you both the best of luck i know how hard this was on our relationship and it is not an easy obstacle.

Its weird to see that other women have the same problem that we ourselves experience. But if feels good to know I am not alone. I have been with my husband since junior high and we are now in our 30s. For the past 6 ish years I have been having sex, because I felt my husband as a man needed it. I love him so I did it for him. Sex had become something that I detest.

I could not figure out how to tell my husband that it does not feel good, there is no enjoyment in it. I knew he would take it as his fault. Well, i realize he is not , he knew something was wrong and he brought it up to me the other night. Finally I told him "sex is not fullfilling" the majority of the time I do it for him.

Now, he is trying to help me enjoy it more. Last night was better then it has been in years, I enjoyed sex! We had dinner (alone, no kids) candles exc and then just kissed. Real connecting kisses. The best part of it all was I did not have to have sex. I actually enjoyed it! I was smiling and laughing and there was a sexual tension in the air. But it was good sexual tension. After 6 years of hiding my dislike of sex the truth is finally making it better! We are taking it slow and I hope thing continue to improve. But he wants me to tell him what I like and what I don't. He encouraged me to tell him when to slow down. When he is hurting me when the angle is bad. All those little things we used to do.

We ended up having sex and it was good, but I was still frustrated because the "cuddle and talking time" ended up with him going to sleep.
But it took 6 years for it to go bad, so I will take one day at a time. At least I am not faking my O face anymore! He knows now and hopefully we can fix whats broken by working on it together. I want to enjoy sex again and look forward to it.

If anyone has ideas or suggesstions I am open to them and thank you for allowing me to have my say.

I am in the EXACT situation. You should read my earlier post "I think I'm asexual". Part of me feels like no one will ever understand, yet I'm hopeful.

First, I think those of you that post "oh my god, if you don't have sex it's never going to work between you"...shut up. And it's sooooo hard to convince yourself to want it without feeling crappy because you might be pretending to like it but really you can't get it out of the back of your mind that you don't really want it. And PLEASE don't talk to us like we just don't know how to have good sex. Trust me, we do, we just don't desire it. If we have it, great, but we're not usually sitting on the couch thinking all of a sudden that we have to have it now. I know you're trying to help, but we know how to have foreplay and sex.

I guess right now I have nothing to say that can find a solution, I can only empathize. I know what you're going through. I understand. Let me know if you want to talk more.

Well, you might as well understand the truth, sex is very important, and people who accept a life without it are making a very serious compromise.

My last relationship turned to once every two weeks, which was pretty much helI.

Read up on any psychology about sex and you'll find out that it governs practically every aspect of someones life (who does want it).