Thread: can I enjoy anal

Off and on during our married life (15yrs) we have tried anal sex, my husband seems to like it, and I will do or try anything that he asks, because I love him and because I know he loves me he is very gentle and caring during all of our sessions, taking great care to make sure I orgasm first....usually..sometimes i just cant. Anyway this may sound selfish but how can I make my experience with anal sex more enjoyable then just being happy he's happy? I have only found being able to reach orgasm with missionary, on top, or basic clitoral stimulation. any other position, it feels good, but no peak. This is something I really would like to enjoy with my husband.

I may be wrong but if you haven't gotten any enjoyment out of it yet I don't think you will.

I'm where you are. I participate in it on the rare occasion that my guy has wanted to but I get nothing out of it other than the fact that I know it makes him happy.

Some women can't stand it, either out of just the though of it or because of pain and they won't "allow" it. Some women, like me, will do it but get nothing from it. Some women do it and absolutely love it and can orgasm from it. Point being we are all different.

I have recently tried it again after many years of refusing to because of the pain. I realize now that it is the way your partner does it. Does he lubricate first? Also he told me to play with myselft while he was in me. Oh! It was incredible! I have never exploded like I did that night. It makes me shake just to think of it.

Originally Posted by SorridLives

No. I have to respectfully disagree, Fallen. There are many factors including how *new* you are to it, how ready you are for it, how scared you are....etc. Sometimes it gets better.

She stated she has been married for 15 years and I just assumed it had been multiple times that she had tried it - maybe I shouldn't have assumed. I was basing my reply of "I don't think you will" on that along with the fact that I have also done it multiple times over the years and still nothing exciting for me other than the fact that he's enjoying it.

Agreed, as you stated sometimes it gets better, there may be something that changes for her, but then again it may not as it hasn't for me over the years. It's possible that she may be one of those women that it never does anything for.

Thank you for all your advice, I love this forum just because you all are so, open and supportive, especially with issues like these. I will try these suggestions, and hopefully it helps. I really want to continue enjoying all aspects of my life with my husband. And I know he wouldn't be happy if he knew I was just doing it just for his benefit, he isn't that kind of lover.

If it hurts he is doing too much too fast or not understanding the amount of lube needed to so this right. One thing I've suggested in the past is to offer to do Anal sex with him. ie you buy a strapon dildo and do him for a change. Everyone I've ever talked to that did this has said the man then "understands" how he needs to go slow and use lots of lubricant. And men have a prostate gland similar to our "G" spot that can be very pleasurable when stimulated with a dildo.

Originally Posted by Phoebee

If it hurts he is doing too much too fast or not understanding the amount of lube needed to so this right. One thing I've suggested in the past is to offer to do Anal sex with him. ie you buy a strapon dildo and do him for a change. Everyone I've ever talked to that did this has said the man then "understands" how he needs to go slow and use lots of lubricant. And men have a prostate gland similar to our "G" spot that can be very pleasurable when stimulated with a dildo.

Phoebee...that does turn a man into a believer pretty quickly.
Cheers.