Thread: Husband Masterbates

wow, now I'm really confused. I always thought masturbation was a good thing. I'm concerned because my girlfriend doesn't masturbate and yet this thread seems to be about why men should not! Really??? Neither men nor women should masturbate? I disagree. Whether single or married masturbation is great, fun, and healthy. My girlfriend is a knockout and I make love to her whenever she wants to. I would love it if every time I came it was with the woman I love, but that's just not reality. My gf doesn't want sex as often as I do, so I maturbate. Sometimes I fantasize about her and sometimes I watch porn and fantasize about others. This does not take anything away from us.

If your man jerks off and doesn't have sex with you when you want it, then you have a problem. Otherwise, let him be. And ladies, if masturbating caused baldness all men would be bald. Not to mention if masturbation caused baldness then so would sex. So are you implying that men also shouldn't have sex because it would cause them to go bald? The only other alternative is for men to have less sex and that is just not fair.

when you masterbate does that lower your sex drive and not want to have sex with your partner -basically cause the job is already done?????

In my experience male orgasm makes them incapable of being "into" sex at the same level. For men its like eating a large meal. Offer them more food after "Thanksgiving" and they will pass.

Thus if a man uses up his sexual energy on himself its not "as" available for the Marriage. Look, I'm not a total prude on this. Both of us have done it and we have even tried doing it for each other as a kind of educational thing. Show me how you do it and I'll show you type of thing. Which btw was actually kind of exciting to watch but kind of creepy to do.

What I'm really saying is that I would not appreciate being replaced with him regularly masturbating. If he and I do it in bed together? Thats way different. And I'll have to say that if I'm sick, have a headache or am just too tired and he asks for my vibrator to do himself? Thats more then ok.

Originally Posted by playfulmind69

when you masterbate does that lower your sex drive and not want to have sex with your partner -basically cause the job is already done?????

No. But you're confusing two things here. If I masturbate I can't then have sex, at least not for a couple hours, even if I wanted to. I need time to recover. But this has nothing to do with my sex drive. Quite the opposite. I find that my sex drive is usually higher the more I masturbate. I can't maturbate without visual stimuli, online porn or a magazine, so naturally if I'm doing this I start thinking about sex more. But when I'm with my girl, I don't think about the naked ladies I saw online, I think about her its just that the images of sex turned me on and this, to me, is a good thing. And trust me, I would much rather make love to my gf than masturbate ANY DAY OF THE WEEK. It just so happens that she isn't always available or in the mood.

Now of course, everyone is different on this topic, and if your guy is masturbating all the time and not having sex with you even when you want to, then yes, that sounds like a problem. I can't replace sex with masturbation, its only a supplement. I prefer the real thing.

Originally Posted by Phoebee

In my experience male orgasm makes them incapable of being "into" sex at the same level. For men its like eating a large meal. Offer them more food after "Thanksgiving" and they will pass.

Thus if a man uses up his sexual energy on himself its not "as" available for the Marriage. Look, I'm not a total prude on this. Both of us have done it and we have even tried doing it for each other as a kind of educational thing. Show me how you do it and I'll show you type of thing. Which btw was actually kind of exciting to watch but kind of creepy to do.

What I'm really saying is that I would not appreciate being replaced with him regularly masturbating. If he and I do it in bed together? Thats way different. And I'll have to say that if I'm sick, have a headache or am just too tired and he asks for my vibrator to do himself? Thats more then ok.

Men don't have a sexual energy reservoir that can be stored up and become available to the Marriage. We're simply horny from time to time, and for some of us all the time or none of the time. Everybody is different. And again, if the guy is replacing sex with masturbation then he's probably addicted to it and I think that is a bad thing. But you have to realize that good sex is also about timing and chemistry. My gf is not always available for my sexual needs (routinely there is at least one week every month with no play time). What do you expect the guy to do? Hold it in for the whole week and wait for you to be ready? hah! not a chance. And no matter how much I masturbate during that week all I can think about is when I'll get to have sex with my gf again. Plus if I don't take care of myself at least a couple times in that week I'm likely to go early when we finally can get together and that will just be a disappointment for both of us. I guess the moral of the story here is that for many guys masturbation is a way to regulate their sex drive and can be very beneficial. Even if I "held it in" for the whole week, it doesn't guarantee I'd be in the mood when she comes around anyway. Most of the time I am, but sometimes not, for whatever reason. I might be horny one day and not the next, whether I masturbate or not.

There have been times when I was in the mood and she wasn't, so we both went to sleep, and nobody did any masturbating. And the next night she's in the mood and I'm not. go figure. it had nothing to do with my reservoir being empty.

Originally Posted by silvertae

If someone tried to tell me I couldn't touch my own body the way I want to then I'd never speak to them again. I would never do that to my partner. If using chastity belts adds some sort of enjoyable kink factor to your relationship, fine. But otherwise it's controlling and unreasonable.

I agree wholeheartedly. I would NEVER tell my s/o that he couldn't masturbate.

It's just wrong and makes me sad for your partner. Does he tell you that you aren't allowed to masturbate? Just curious to see your reaction to the shoe being on the other foot.

I am blown away!! Masturbation is COMPLETELY NORMAL! And alot of this information about chastity and controlling and manipulating a persons sex-drive and personal choice is ridiculous. I am usuallly very open to others opinions, but its messages and opinions like this that give women a bad name. I can only imagine the complications that would arise for trying to be so controlling. I also disagree with all the reasons "men" masturbate.. I have toys and LOVE using them, by MYSELF, and also with my husband. I believe that until a person can love themself, and know their own body, they are restricted. Sex is so much more enjoyable when you have taken the time to know your own body. Any psyhologist will tell you that masturbating is healthy, people have been doing it since the beginning of time... babies do it, kids do it, adolescents do it, and MOST adults do it too. Even your Grandparents are doing it!!There is alot of material out there to get educated about sex, and the only bad "opinions" are the uneducated ones. A guy, or girl, is not wrong or dirty or need to be ashamed of something that comes so naturally. Its nature. And woman need to stop being so insecure with themselves, because that is exactly what drives men to cheat on us! You have to trust your partner, and if all he's doing is masturbating, give me a break. Or I should say give him a break. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, or he's thinking of someone else. But try to put a chastity on a man, and see how far that will go.. unless the mans whipped and loves to be controlled in that way, he would never go for it. At least I know I wouldn't!!! You should just make him wear a huge sign around his neck too that says he's a p****. And I suppose it would only be fair if you wore one too right? Because if he can't be trusted (says you) than why should you decide you can be trusted? he should also expect the same treatment. Then again, my guess is you are all probably single that believe in such a strange way to show someone your love and trust in them. So I say MASTURBATE!! I am a huge fan of it myself, and I have been HAPPILY married for 7 years.