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Thread: Husband Masterbates

  1. #1
    pjc
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    Default Husband Masterbates


    I have known about male chastity for quite sometime. There are REAL PRODUCTS (ignore the funky kinky stuff) out there that work very well and cannot be seen under clothing. I honestly believe that male chastity should be practiced by more women and their consenting men. Men are thinking about sex quite a bit. They are getting aroused all the time, whether it is their wife or a co-worker or a brief look at women at a coffee shop or even a brief glance of a magazine cover. This does not mean that he is an animal and cannot control himself. This is part of their wiring. It does not mean that w/o a chastity device he would do something (infidelity or fanaticize too much). It also does not mean w/o chastity he would not be attentive to his wifeís needs. What it does mean is that he stays very focused focused focused. Focused on what is supposed to be taking place at that very moment whether at the office or at home cleaning the gutters making dinner etc. When aroused at anytime he will never be able to become erect which will cause him to fight his feelings of sexual mind wondering. During this moment of physical and mental exercise he will feel the pressure and sometimes pain associated with being bound. The pressure reminds him of his wife being with him at all times - essentially it is like he is getting a hug and a sense of belonging. He will be reminded of the KEY HOLDER, his wife. This reminder is not of submissive and dominate situation it is a reminder of a team relationship. He cannot help but think of her.
    Masturbation is a big topic too. We all know that men masturbate. Why do men masturbate??? This is easy to understand: (these are facts)
    1. cannot communicate or afraid to communicate desire
    2. fantasizing over other women
    3. fantasizing over things his wife will not do
    4. out of resentment
    5. selfish personal pleasure
    6. just wants to empty himself out
    All reasons are Inappropriate and very Selfish!!! Masturbation changes a manís attitude. For instance when has a man ever masturbated and then went and cuddled with his wife and told her how much he loves and adores her? Get the point and there are many more points to be made. A chastity device will stop this!!! Again keeping him focused focused focused. A man should NEVER CUM W/O HIS WIFE being a part of it. I do not need to go into detail here; there are countless ways for a significant other to have her man cum, from the very kinky to the sweet and subtle. He will be forced to figure out how to communicate, of course with your guidance and support......
    There is much more to write about Male Chastity, all of which is logical, respectful, and loving. I will start with what I wrote and will continue if there is interest.

    Other topics concerning male chastity that need to be discussed:
    The after orgasm difference between men and women
    The day to day norms that each person must feel and give, respect, love, adoration, etc
    Communication
    Sexual frustration /energy and how to harness it, for truley empowering both parties
    Psychological health of both partners and of the relationship
    How to introduce your husband or significant other to male chastity
    More.........

  2. #2
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array SorridLives's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pjc View Post
    I have known about male chastity for quite sometime. There are REAL PRODUCTS (ignore the funky kinky stuff) out there that work very well and cannot be seen under clothing. I honestly believe that male chastity should be practiced by more women and their consenting men. Men are thinking about sex quite a bit. They are getting aroused all the time, whether it is their wife or a co-worker or a brief look at women at a coffee shop or even a brief glance of a magazine cover. This does not mean that he is an animal and cannot control himself. This is part of their wiring. It does not mean that w/o a chastity device he would do something (infidelity or fanaticize too much). It also does not mean w/o chastity he would not be attentive to his wifeís needs. What it does mean is that he stays very focused focused focused. Focused on what is supposed to be taking place at that very moment whether at the office or at home cleaning the gutters making dinner etc. When aroused at anytime he will never be able to become erect which will cause him to fight his feelings of sexual mind wondering. During this moment of physical and mental exercise he will feel the pressure and sometimes pain associated with being bound. The pressure reminds him of his wife being with him at all times - essentially it is like he is getting a hug and a sense of belonging. He will be reminded of the KEY HOLDER, his wife. This reminder is not of submissive and dominate situation it is a reminder of a team relationship. He cannot help but think of her.
    Masturbation is a big topic too. We all know that men masturbate. Why do men masturbate??? This is easy to understand: (these are facts)
    1. cannot communicate or afraid to communicate desire
    2. fantasizing over other women
    3. fantasizing over things his wife will not do
    4. out of resentment
    5. selfish personal pleasure
    6. just wants to empty himself out
    All reasons are Inappropriate and very Selfish!!! Masturbation changes a manís attitude. For instance when has a man ever masturbated and then went and cuddled with his wife and told her how much he loves and adores her? Get the point and there are many more points to be made. A chastity device will stop this!!! Again keeping him focused focused focused. A man should NEVER CUM W/O HIS WIFE being a part of it. I do not need to go into detail here; there are countless ways for a significant other to have her man cum, from the very kinky to the sweet and subtle. He will be forced to figure out how to communicate, of course with your guidance and support......
    There is much more to write about Male Chastity, all of which is logical, respectful, and loving. I will start with what I wrote and will continue if there is interest.

    Other topics concerning male chastity that need to be discussed:
    The after orgasm difference between men and women
    The day to day norms that each person must feel and give, respect, love, adoration, etc
    Communication
    Sexual frustration /energy and how to harness it, for truley empowering both parties
    Psychological health of both partners and of the relationship
    How to introduce your husband or significant other to male chastity
    More.........
    Ya know...I found most of this message very interesting! LOL
    Of course, I would NOT buy into the chastity belt thing, but I do agree with many points you made!
    La Vita Loca

  3. #3
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    As a guy, I don't see anything wrong with masturbating (for males or females). I think everyone should do it. Masturbation doesn't INCREASE my thoughts of sexuality. If anything it allows me to regain my focus on other things than sex. The idea of having a man wear some sort of chastity device to me seems really wrong. I don't think it would be right to do the same to a woman either.

    If a man is going to mess around on his s/o or wife, he's just going to do it. Same as if a woman is going to mess around on her s/o or husband. All the chastity products are worthless, because the moment he or she gets free, there they go.

    I don't think that loving someone should entail controlling every aspect of their sexuality. You shouldn't have to. If you are with a man who you cannot trust, then that is the source of your problem and no chastity product is going to fix that.

    Personally, I masturbate regularly. So does my wife. I have been married for a long time (in excess of 20 years) and I still love my wife and have never messed around on her. I wouldn't do it. And guess what? She has never minded if I masturbated, or if I think about sex...etc.

    I welcome people to think differently than I do. Your perspective is interesting. I hope that it works well for you. I'm curious as to how this situation will play out. Is it possible that you're into BDSM? No problem there...particularly if your s/o enjoys being chastized.

    Cheers!

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    I guess the idea just bothers me, and I hate to think that I am not giving my SO what he wants, so he needs to find another outlet. I think that you have very good points--but I wouldn't use any sort of device to prevent it. I am trying to be more understand about this topic personally, so I appreciate everyone's posts on this!

  5. #5
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    williams9. You pose a good question:

    Why is he masturbating:

    There are a number of reasons:
    1) He wants to get off quick and easy and with no planning, deliberation, etc.
    2) Differing sex drives. Maybe you are happy having sex 2 -3 times a month and he wants it 2-3 times a week.
    3) To combat another problem. I knew a guy back in college who would masturbate before going on a date because it chilled out his premature ejaculation problem.
    4) Just for fun or because he is bored.

    There are probably a thousand other reasons to masturbate. It feels good. If you don't masturbate, I would highly encourage you to try it. It's healthy. If you're horny and you masturbate, it takes the edge off your horniness. It allows you to focus on other things.

    If anyone has questions about this and would like to ask me...ask away. I may not tell you what you want to hear, but I will be honest about this or any other subject.
    Cheers

  6. #6
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    "When aroused at anytime he will never be able to become erect which will cause him to fight his feelings of sexual mind wondering. During this moment of physical and mental exercise he will feel the pressure and sometimes pain associated with being bound."

    I doubt that the CB will stop him from getting an erection and when you released him allowing him to have intercourse with you he will probably last two to three thrust and shoot his pent up load. Why not just turn him into a Eunice? I assumed at one point you loved him enough to ether marry him or move in with him.

    This could be sort of exciting, a turn-on and fun, but not the way you described it.

  7. #7
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Uneeklyme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pjc View Post
    I have known about male chastity for quite sometime. There are REAL PRODUCTS (ignore the funky kinky stuff) out there that work very well and cannot be seen under clothing. I honestly believe that male chastity should be practiced by more women and their consenting men. Men are thinking about sex quite a bit. They are getting aroused all the time, whether it is their wife or a co-worker or a brief look at women at a coffee shop or even a brief glance of a magazine cover. This does not mean that he is an animal and cannot control himself. This is part of their wiring. It does not mean that w/o a chastity device he would do something (infidelity or fanaticize too much). It also does not mean w/o chastity he would not be attentive to his wifeís needs. What it does mean is that he stays very focused focused focused. Focused on what is supposed to be taking place at that very moment whether at the office or at home cleaning the gutters making dinner etc. When aroused at anytime he will never be able to become erect which will cause him to fight his feelings of sexual mind wondering. During this moment of physical and mental exercise he will feel the pressure and sometimes pain associated with being bound. The pressure reminds him of his wife being with him at all times - essentially it is like he is getting a hug and a sense of belonging. He will be reminded of the KEY HOLDER, his wife. This reminder is not of submissive and dominate situation it is a reminder of a team relationship. He cannot help but think of her.
    I wonder how being completely controlled, right down to what your thinking, has nothing to do with submissive or dominate.


    Quote Originally Posted by pjc View Post
    Masturbation is a big topic too. We all know that men masturbate. Why do men masturbate??? This is easy to understand: (these are facts)
    1. cannot communicate or afraid to communicate desire
    2. fantasizing over other women
    3. fantasizing over things his wife will not do
    4. out of resentment
    5. selfish personal pleasure
    6. just wants to empty himself out
    All reasons are Inappropriate and very Selfish!!!
    I agree communication is important but some women are just not approachable in some ways. They hear... I would like to find a couple of hot 18 year old blondes that do each other for me and totally worship me and give me everything you dont and I am going to go and look for that when in reallity what he said is I was thinking while I was in the shower and it got me a little worked up so I started to smack the thought around a little bit and in the end you were on your knees in front of me. Maybe he is fantasizing over things his wife wont do but maybe in his fantasy his wife is the one doing. If your resenting your partner there are way more issues than masturbation, self pleasure...taking his time and making himself feel good the way he likes to is IMO not selfish just different and sometimes blue balls is painful and a man physically has to empty himself.

    Quote Originally Posted by pjc View Post
    Masturbation changes a manís attitude. For instance when has a man ever masturbated and then went and cuddled with his wife and told her how much he loves and adores her? Get the point and there are many more points to be made. A chastity device will stop this!!! Again keeping him focused focused focused. A man should NEVER CUM W/O HIS WIFE being a part of it.
    Masturbation can change a man's attitude. Sometimes for the better. It relaxes him and could relieve some stress (nagging wife, screaming baby, hard work day, insert stresser here) and help him relax. My man will text me a picture with a see what you do to me or a text with a oh man you were awesome, thanx meaning I just got off thinking about you. Would rather that than hear what a insecure, controlling bi**ch I am and how much he resents me for feeling I need to govern everything about him right down to how he thinks.

    Quote Originally Posted by pjc View Post
    I do not need to go into detail here; there are countless ways for a significant other to have her man cum, from the very kinky to the sweet and subtle. He will be forced to figure out how to communicate, of course with your guidance and support......
    It would seem to me that if you are at the point of mutually using a chastity belt, male or female, you are already communicating pretty well. Thats not something most people bring up in a relationship with poor communication unless it comes out in a fight where one doesnt trust the other and the untrusted agrees to it to prove a point.

    Quote Originally Posted by pjc View Post
    There is much more to write about Male Chastity, all of which is logical, respectful, and loving. I will start with what I wrote and will continue if there is interest.

    Other topics concerning male chastity that need to be discussed:
    The after orgasm difference between men and women
    The day to day norms that each person must feel and give, respect, love, adoration, etc
    Communication
    Sexual frustration /energy and how to harness it, for truley empowering both parties
    Psychological health of both partners and of the relationship
    How to introduce your husband or significant other to male chastity
    More.........
    I am curious about your take on the after orgasm difference between men and women and psychological health.
    As I have stated in another post about male chastity belts, might be fun to try as a consenting, agreeing, close knit already communicating, loving trusting, couple but on pure thinking that masturbation is wrong or evil and the masturbator must learn how to think and be controlled...unless its a sub/dom thing...I only see how it could creat trouble.

  8. #8
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    I don't understand this whole materbation thing. If the sex is good with the wife then why masterbate? I read alot about ..maybe your sex life is boring, or not enough times a day or even weeks. I think once you start this masterbation process it is hard to stop for some men, no matter what woman try. I have a great sex life now that I have finely put some pieces to a puzzle together in my relationship.I never knew he was so active to this. It was very shocking to me and hurtful at the same time. I see it this way. If you masterbate and it takes nothing away from your sex life and both partners know about it(not being done in secret) then masterbate yourself to death! When the other spouse needs you and they find out you have already been relieved buy masterbating, it is very hurtful.There is a sence of rejection in the relationship. I have read how woman feel on this subject but how would a man feel if everytime he wanted to have sex with his wife she said," sorry I have already used my dildo", and left him hanging! Men will always answer this with," I see nothing wrong masterbating" yeah I know because you like to do it!!! Caress your wife the way you caress yourself..put as much time into her as you do to get yourself hard. Then stand back and watch how much happier you both are and how much more creative your sex life will be.Tell him everytime he wants to masterbate you will try to be there for him instead. Good luck to all the woman who are hurting in this area. To get something you've never had be willing to do something you've never done!

  9. #9
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Phoebee's Avatar
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    Well you peaked my curiosity. I found a site that caters to male chastity and while the "basics" of what you talked about have a certain sort of naughty appeal the reality of how it worked out for the people on the site I lurked on was anything but what I would want. Men wearing panties and Maid outfits? Please I want a m a n who is into sex with me. Not bowing and dusting and wearing female cloths! ;-) Although there is nothing wrong with dusting. ;-) Anyway what I was seeing seemed to turn into a major power thing that was WAY to complicated...

    In short my attitude is this. And its simple. When a man spends his sexual energy on his right hand it takes away from "us" and thats not fair. If I'm sick out of town or whatever? I don't care. If we are into some mutual MB thing? Fine. But if he is "playing with himself" all the time and blows me off because he wasted all his energy on watching porn and playing with himself to it or whatever? NOT cool guys. And why "jerk off" is an insult. If my DH started finding himself more appealing then me? He can start packing his bags or seek serious mental health help...
    "Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got." ~ Janis Joplin

  10. #10
    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array silvertae's Avatar
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    If someone tried to tell me I couldn't touch my own body the way I want to then I'd never speak to them again. I would never do that to my partner. If using chastity belts adds some sort of enjoyable kink factor to your relationship, fine. But otherwise it's controlling and unreasonable.
    Well some people say that you shouldn't tempt fate, and for them I can not disagree. But I never learned nothing from playing it safe; I say fate should not tempt me. I take my chances.

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