Problem maintaining erection during sex?

**bob100** · 08-24-2009 09:02 AM

ok so I gathered my self after a tough weekend and went to see a urologist.
naturally he gave me Cialas. But I asked what else can I do and this is the real thing he said: start doing an aerobic work out so heartbeat is 135 for 30 minutes 4 times a week. Drink less. Its all about blood flow. Plus I had probably been depressed form getting laid off from my job.
So doing those things and the right nutrition (vitamins) have really helped. Plus we talked about it and the fact is I'm over 50 and not 25.
Yes I might want to use the pill but only take 1/4. I've only done that a couple of times and once I wanted to have sex she did not which was not so bad. You do have to be careful with EDs medications. The more you use it the less it will work and then the more you have to take and on and on. Eventually it will not work.
Honest communication and get the blood flowing are the keys.

**wyllm** · 01-21-2010 06:35 PM

I am 40 and recently married for the third time to a professed "freak". I find myself pretty tame, but my "freak" is a little over the top for her.

Although I can maintain an erection well during oral sex, I have recently started experiencing a deflation during actual intercourse.

My mind has jumped to many conclusions, including ED, complications from a stroke five years ago(the stroke was during a brain tumor operation and this is the first sexual experience since then-lack of intimate desire killed my second marriage) and a myriad of other things.

I'm comforted to think it may not be ED from what I read. Perhaps it's a psychological fear of performance, trying to outfreak her freak. Perhaps it is latent fears of performance left over from the stroke. I don't drink so I doubt it is that. I get sometimes too much rest, but work a stressful job.

I have wondered, though did not tell my wife, if she is too loose. Sometimes she's tighter than others so I suppose it is normal. I seem to expect her to be tight unless we are having intercourse daily. Therefore, my mind jumps to thoughts of infidelity. I don't want to go there, but my mind does anyway.

I'm inclined to think it is caused by the past stroke. Bear in mind that it was not the normal medical causes. The rest of my body doesn't always behave as I want it to and I had severe frontal lobe damage that may not be fully healed after five years.

Typing this out, I should probably ask my neurologist and get her opinion.

**Hopeless Dork** · 01-21-2010 07:05 PM

Tightness/Looseness has nothing to do with how often a woman is having sex... so her being loose wouldnt reflect infidelity. She is likely the same all the time and feels more loose or tight depending on her state of arousal, the position you guys are in, and even what part of the month it is in her cycle (if she has one) as there are subtle changes then.

Frequent sex would more likely lead her to being tighter, if she is contracting her pelvic floor muscles during intercourse (squeezing) as that makes the vagina more tight. Those can be done (kegals) when not having sex as well to work on toning muscles which is great for not only sex, but bladder control in the later years, etc.

**LanaBear** · 01-21-2010 07:09 PM

Originally Posted by Hopeless Dork

Tightness/Looseness has nothing to do with how often a woman is having sex... so her being loose wouldnt reflect infidelity. She is likely the same all the time and feels more loose or tight depending on her state of arousal, the position you guys are in, and even what part of the month it is in her cycle (if she has one) as there are subtle changes then.

Good point! The more aroused she is, the more swollen she is, the more tighter she is... There are many things that would cause a tighter/looser situation.

**Hopeless Dork** · 01-21-2010 07:58 PM

I always bite my tongue and grrr when I hear guys talking about a girl that has slept around, saying things like OHH a guy has to strap a rope around his waist to not fall in etc..

The whole notion of sex causing a vagina to loosen is one of the most annoying myths about the vagina. The more you use it, either with kegals or sex... the more toned those muscles are going to be.

I went a period of years without having sex and the first time I had it again I thought it was going to hurt like heck and that I would have all but closed up in there... not the case, in fact the opposite. It had been so long since I'd been contracting those muscles that to me it felt like I couldn't get a good squeeze on my boyfriends penis. Flash forward several months later after having sexual activity regularly and doing routine kegal exercises and even lubricated its such a tight fit getting in... and then once in the friction is intense.. and then on top of that I can squeeze and release and create all kinds of awesome sensations for him AND me.

**rocker** · 10-30-2011 08:56 AM

advise him to start cycling...exercises which increase blood flow to the lower parts of body help in improving this problem especially cycling in gym...initially he will start by doing 5 minutes, he must not do too much as he may grow tired and muscles ache in the beginning. gradually increase the time period to 30 minutes. Also once he has got into the habit of doing this, before getting engaged into this activity, he should do ten minutes of cycling so his heart start to pump.....this will improve overall health and blood flow since this is what erection needs. Also eating 3-5 figs everyday are a great source of improving these sort of issues. You will see significant improvement if he sticks to these two advise in short time. And do stay positive...

**Trying Hard** · 11-07-2011 07:37 AM

Aerobics yes; not so sure about cycling
Please, read below...

Cycling and Erectile Dysfunction
So how can bicycling lead erectile dysfunction? Prolonged pressure on the tissues of the perineum (the area of the groin between the penis and anus) can damage blood vessels and nerves responsible for an erection, and spending excessive amounts of time in the same position on the saddle may cause temporary erectile dysfunction. This damage may become permanent if the tissues are continually damaged and not allowed to recover.

Many factors increase the risk of developing erectile dysfunction in cyclists. Some of these include the weight of the cyclist (heavier riders put more pressure on the perineum), the saddle design (some saddles increase pressure on the perineum), and even the cycling intensity. Studies have found that racing cyclists offset much of the weight on the saddle by keeping so much of their body weight on the pedals. This, in turn, reduces the pressure on the perineum.

Symptoms of Erectile Dysfunction in Cyclists
The good news is that nearly every cyclist who experiences erectile dysfunction or impotence will have symptoms before the problem becomes serious. Reduced blood flow to the perineum causes pain, numbness or tingling in the perineum long before men develop ED. If you don't have problems with pain, numbness or tingling, stop worrying and enjoy your ride. If you do have pain, address the problem before it gets worse.

Preventing Erectile Dysfunction
If you do feel groin discomfort, pain or numbness when you bike take the following actions:

•If you are on a long ride, take a break, stand up on the pedals, stretch and "adjust yourself" until normal sensation returns.
•During rides, change your position frequently by shifting forward and backward and standing.
•Consider adjusting your bike seat to reduce pressure points.
•Use a seat with a cutout to reduce pressure on the perineum.
•Avoid seats with a lot of padding. Although it sounds comfortable, you'll actually sink deeper into the saddle and feel more pressure and numbness.
•Keep the seat level or angled slightly downward; never tilt the saddle upward.
•Raise your handlebars slightly so you are a bit more upright.
•Change positions often during your rides.
•Wear good cycling shorts with a comfortable pad.
•Adjust your saddle height so that your knee is just slightly bent at the bottom of the pedal cycle.
•See: Proper Bike Fit Can Prevent Pain and Injury
Bicycle Saddle Choice
Bicycle saddle design has changed dramatically over the years and there are many options. Saddles now offer a cutout down the middle to relieve pressure on the perineum and reduce pressure on the soft tissues. Some research supports this theory and many cyclists find that the cutouts are more comfortable than traditional saddles. Newer saddles, such as the Selle SMP, offer a large cutout and downward facing nose. One study found this design superior in allowing penile blood flow compared with standard saddle shapes.

Another study on saddle shape and penile blood flow found that narrow saddles result in less blood flow than a wider saddle. Computer analysis of pressures showed that a wide saddle allowed more weight to be distributed to the sit bones (ischial tuberosity) and put less pressure less on the perineum than narrow saddles.

So if you don't have symptoms, don't worry about impotence and enjoy cycling!

**donnaatthegym** · 12-12-2011 02:09 PM

basically viagra or cialis would help him significantly

**jns** · 12-12-2011 06:23 PM

Depending on the cause of ED, Viagra, Cialis or Levitra may or may not work. From personal experience.

**Texasred** · 12-15-2011 07:18 PM

Wow, this is really an old thread, but it's a perennial topic of interest, so I'm going to throw in a couple points: one is that Cialis, Levitra, etc. work well for a lot of folks, myself included. Cialis is longer lasting, Levitra works only for about an hour but works great for that hour!
But they don't *always* work. One thing that does always work, and is wonderfully effective, is "the shot," a drug called "Trimix" (google it) that is easily self-administered, and DOES produce the legendary "rock-hard erection," lasting depending on dosage for 1 - 4 hours.

Getting fit is a good thing, but that alone is not enough for everyone: as one who has lost close to 40 pounds, and now am rather fit (resting heart rate less than 60 bpm, 205 lbs at 6'-4), I can attest to that too.

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