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About LinkBacksYour right it could have been a lot worse, why do ya think i kept it from him for so long?
Your right it could have been a lot worse, why do ya think i kept it from him for so long?
Hatred is formed because of ignorance and bigotry, not intelligence or rationalization.
Originally Posted by mariaangel
Yes, i know why you didn't tell him, you've told us.
Fear.... of.......rejection.......he would not love you maybe...................
Then i imagine through discussions with your psychiatrist it was recommended that you do tell him, but not alone, through a different fear of possible retaliation.
Let me ask you this.
In this instance, you fell in love then hid the truth, for the above reasons.
Hypothetically, this relationship has now ended, and you have met someone else, will you tell them? Or play the same route out again?
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
I would probably tell the person after a few dates, so the situation would be less to worry about.
Hatred is formed because of ignorance and bigotry, not intelligence or rationalization.
mariaangel...my suggestion to you would be to "PRE-QUALIFY" your date. What I mean by that is to deliberately seek out the "type" of person you want.
For example. If you are a "heterosexual woman with a penis", then you should seek out guys who are looking for "heterosexual women with penises". That way, you have some hope at happiness. Everyone gets what they expect and you can be yourself.
Cheers.
Yes but that could also endanger me as well. And again my boyfriend didnt break up with me, were still together after I told him.
Hatred is formed because of ignorance and bigotry, not intelligence or rationalization.
In the movie "The Big Chill"...which came out WAY before your time mariaangel, there was a guy who made a statement - somewhat to the effect of:
"Rationalization is amongst the most important things in life."
When he was questioned about his statement, he said that it was more important than sex...etc. Again he was questioned about his statement and he asked the person who questioned him... "Have you ever gone a day without rationalizing something?"
Well mariaangel, my opinion doesn't mean a thing. But, since you come on this forum and you request people's opinions, I'm going to give you mine (again...hehe).
I think that 99% of your problem is that you rationalize EVERY FACET of your life to suit you. You rationalize that since you feel you were born a female (even though you were physically born a male) you can subject yourself to everyone (another rationalization), including your boyfriend and that somehow everyone should (another rationalization) miraculously accept you for "who you are". You are not who you are, nearly as much as you are the characterization of your rationalizations for who you DESIRE to be. I bet you don't go to the bathroom and poo without rationalizing that the reason it smells so bad is because of all the (unnatural) hormones you are forcing on your (naturally) male body.
I don't hate you...I don't dislike you...I don't even have a problem with you. Honestly...I don't have any bad feelings for you in any way. I just think that you are hiding behind your ability to rationalize all the things you do that "defy" conventional intelligence. In reality, there's nothing wrong with that (I'll say it again) as long as you go play your games by yourself...but when you expect an unsuspecting boyfriend to accept that you've lied to him for 2 years, or you want to feed intelligent people a bunch of rationalized garbage on the internet, you shouldn't just expect them to go along with you. That's not hate, that's not ignorance, not bigotry, not intelligence...but you're right...it is RATIONALIZATION of Bull.
Cheers.
I had hoped you would answer, next time you would not be so selfish and think only for yourself, but of others and let them know before hand, not "after a few dates"..marieangelI would probably tell the person after a few dates, so the situation would be less to worry about.
You know a few dates can be 3, 5, 10 and i believe you'd stretch it out as far as you could there.
I also think that that "fear" would step in again, on non acceptance and the next person, "not loving you" as the reason.
And, my "opinion" is that in addition, you would be "selfish" if you went down this path, told him after a few dates, obviously kissed him by then, because you couldn't mentally go through 2 years again of hiding..
Still, you would have kissed him. A male kissing a male... Whilst that male thinks your a female.
I am non understanding why you have an answer for everything but you don't agree with anyone on anything.
Just answers.
Same thing and i agree with Fire (m) in that regard.Fire (m)...but when you expect an unsuspecting boyfriend to accept that you've lied to him for 2 years, or you want to feed intelligent people a bunch of rationalized garbage on the internet, you shouldn't just expect them to go along with you.
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
DITTO.
I don't think Mariaangel understands that her action was a lie for personal gain... She keeps rationalizing and saying "but what else could I do, I was scared?" Yeah, well, too bad. It's a risk you have to take. The fact that Mariaangel denied her boyfriend the choice about whether or not he wanted to date a man (or "women with a penis", whatever) is inexusable, and extremely selfish. I can't imagine what I'd do if I found out one day that my boyfriend had a vagina...gah.
I dont have a desire to be someone whom I am not, that is not true at all. It is not irrational that I am female when I was born an anatomical male. So also fire(m) your telling me that I am not female, it is all in my head, basically. Im not crazy or a psychopath, you havent said it but you have implied it. I wouldnt go down the same path again if I was ever in another relationship but telling him the first date might end badly, especially since I dont drive. Im not disagreeing with anyone, I just dont like it when people like fire(m) tell me (or imply) that im not a 'real female'. Another thing they are not unnatural hormones either, anatomical males and anatomical females have androgynes and estrogens, just different levels. I have no excuse for what I didnt say, for what I kept from him, I lied about nothing, I just didnt say the thing that was most important. Also for personal gain? No I dont think so, it was a lie to protect my life. Do you want to know how his 'friends' reacted when they found out what he knew and that he was still together with me? If I wouldve told him earlier it wouldnt have mattered, he wouldve still stayed with me and we wouldve still be attacked by his 'friends'. Neither of us is dead, we wouldve been if there hadnt been a cop near-by. Also to chelsea if your metaphorical boyfriend (not saying you dont have one just doing a scenario) told you that he had a vagina on your first date how would you react?
Hatred is formed because of ignorance and bigotry, not intelligence or rationalization.
The main difficulty that you have is age.
His friends would be 19? Thereabouts, and whilst the majority of people on this Forum are 23 - 70, it makes perfect sense that you fear...
Those friends, would be non-understanding they only probably see black and white, whilst on the same accord you at 17, seem to hold English, Grammar and knowledge on alot of subjects way beyond your years. Suspecting your boyfriend is from the same mould, in accertaining his acceptance.
I think the main thing, main thing, that people were/are having difficulty with, is the fact that you hid it from him, would do so again, but on a much lesser scale than be who you are and if that means no dates/relationships for a few years until you can mingle with more mature people of understanding so be it.
I don't think anyone questions your feelings regarding being a woman, nor that you are in a realtionship with a male, nor that you are planning surgery, each to their own and who knows why we are born one way yet the other.
Whilst your situation is not the best one, and one you are working with to correct to what you feel should be the solution to your problems there, it is simple, if this boyfriend goes... you have to be open of whom you are even before the date (singly) hang out with that guy with other people you are friends with, let him get to know you, then when he asks for a date, tell him, around those people, and if he does not like that prospect then that's his choice. But it is, his choice.
Perhaps you haven't looked at ways in which you can let a guy like you and then be honest, and in safety..
Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
It doesn't happen over night
if truth were to be told.
Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
you must believe!
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