Loss of interest

Lisa_in_SRQ · 07-27-2008, 06:19 PM

I need help/advice. I don't know what my problem is. My hubby and I have been married 10+ years. Our sex life has been, let's say...SLOW. We had sex maybe 1-2 times a month. I have had no desire to have sex. I'm only 37 years old, and my hubby is the hottest man in southwest Florida!! LOL No joke, I think he is the sexiest man. I don't know what the problem is. Now, he is a guy...want's sex every night, and lately (past 3 weeks) we have been having sex about 4 times a week. Much improved from the past 6-7 years. He is the one who initiates almost all of the time, and he is getting very upset about it. He thinks that I don't want him or desire him. He thinks that I'm having sex with him just because he wants it (a few times...yes, but not all of the times). Now, he's saying that he doesn't want to have sex anymore, because it is such a project for me to get in the mood. He records shows from Playboy, and checks on them several times a day. He can't "complete" the task without watching the porn. Making love to me doesn't get the job done for him (he can get me to squirt within minutes, most of the time). This really bothers me. I give in all of the time, telling him to turn on the TV so that I can play with the balls and he can masterbate. I don't want him not to complete the task, and then pout and be upset that he doesn't complete it. then he'll just masterbate when I'm not around. I don't want that. He gets upset with the fact that the porn doen'st do much for me at all. He says that most women my age are wanting sex at least 5 times a week, and I'm not normal. It makes me feel so bad.
Our relationship right now is in serious trouble. I don't know what to do. I'm going to go to the DR and have him test my hormone levels to see if I am abnormal.
Can I get some suggestions or opinions? Thanks so much!

**Sweet Lady** · 07-28-2008, 12:16 PM

Welcome to the forum!

Refer to a thread by Dontfeellikeit titled 'Looking for support'. You should get pionters from there. it is currently on page 3 on the threads.

Do post again if not satisfied with the replies.

**Phoebee** · 07-28-2008, 04:51 PM

Hon talk to your doctor. Ask her (or him?) to check your Thyroid and do a hormone panel. You might be having problems there and it can really take the wind out of your sails. If you find your hormones are goofed up find out why. At your age its maybe too early for menopause but? It depends I suppose on your family history. Anyway get the medical stuff checked first. If your ok there then consider talking to a therapist.

Oh! Are you taking any drugs for depression? Those can kill sex drive. I don't want to keep suggesting things because I'm not a doctor. You should talk to them about this and spell out whats going on. Many things can goof up our sex drive.

- p

Merry · 07-29-2008, 12:56 PM

If I am reading this right, it sounds like he never comes from intercourse? If that is the case I can see why you don't want to initiate sex.

ILuvHim · 07-29-2008, 02:34 PM

get your hormones checked.......it suppose to be the other way around....he is losing interest and your in your prime years

07-27-2008, 06:19 PM	#1
Lisa_in_SRQ Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Tampa Bay Posts: 1	Loss of interest I need help/advice. I don't know what my problem is. My hubby and I have been married 10+ years. Our sex life has been, let's say...SLOW. We had sex maybe 1-2 times a month. I have had no desire to have sex. I'm only 37 years old, and my hubby is the hottest man in southwest Florida!! LOL No joke, I think he is the sexiest man. I don't know what the problem is. Now, he is a guy...want's sex every night, and lately (past 3 weeks) we have been having sex about 4 times a week. Much improved from the past 6-7 years. He is the one who initiates almost all of the time, and he is getting very upset about it. He thinks that I don't want him or desire him. He thinks that I'm having sex with him just because he wants it (a few times...yes, but not all of the times). Now, he's saying that he doesn't want to have sex anymore, because it is such a project for me to get in the mood. He records shows from Playboy, and checks on them several times a day. He can't "complete" the task without watching the porn. Making love to me doesn't get the job done for him (he can get me to squirt within minutes, most of the time). This really bothers me. I give in all of the time, telling him to turn on the TV so that I can play with the balls and he can masterbate. I don't want him not to complete the task, and then pout and be upset that he doesn't complete it. then he'll just masterbate when I'm not around. I don't want that. He gets upset with the fact that the porn doen'st do much for me at all. He says that most women my age are wanting sex at least 5 times a week, and I'm not normal. It makes me feel so bad. Our relationship right now is in serious trouble. I don't know what to do. I'm going to go to the DR and have him test my hormone levels to see if I am abnormal. Can I get some suggestions or opinions? Thanks so much!

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07-28-2008, 12:16 PM	#2
Sweet Lady VIP Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Southern Africa Posts: 45	Welcome to the forum! Refer to a thread by Dontfeellikeit titled 'Looking for support'. You should get pionters from there. it is currently on page 3 on the threads. Do post again if not satisfied with the replies.

07-28-2008, 04:51 PM	#3
Phoebee Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Minnesota Posts: 272	Hon talk to your doctor. Ask her (or him?) to check your Thyroid and do a hormone panel. You might be having problems there and it can really take the wind out of your sails. If you find your hormones are goofed up find out why. At your age its maybe too early for menopause but? It depends I suppose on your family history. Anyway get the medical stuff checked first. If your ok there then consider talking to a therapist. Oh! Are you taking any drugs for depression? Those can kill sex drive. I don't want to keep suggesting things because I'm not a doctor. You should talk to them about this and spell out whats going on. Many things can goof up our sex drive. - p

07-29-2008, 12:56 PM	#4
Merry Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 25	If I am reading this right, it sounds like he never comes from intercourse? If that is the case I can see why you don't want to initiate sex.

07-29-2008, 02:34 PM	#5
ILuvHim Banned from WH Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: NewJersey Posts: 62	get your hormones checked.......it suppose to be the other way around....he is losing interest and your in your prime years