Thread: Ever regret "NOT doing it"?

Have you ever been in a situation where you had the opportunity to have sex with someone, but you didn't seize that opportunity and later regretted it?

I would think that this would be a much more common phenomena for ladies than for gentlemen.

Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, please...do tell.

Cheers.

Hiya,

Yep, just recently actually. I was on holiday in Blackpool for a few days. Got chatting to a bloke staying at the B&B and he asked me to come to his room that evening...

I bottled it ...must admit I've regretted that since. It's not a big deal if I'm honest but really wanna have fun while I'm still young and I missed an opportunity there!

Yeah, but I would have had to rape her. Now before everyone jumps me I will have to explain.

I dated this girl for two years. She was very conservative christian (why she dated me or I her?). We would kiss passionatley and rub and grind but no play. Needless to say that she would not commit to fully going at it. She made it perfectly clear that she could not ever consent to having sex before marriage. (She even had remorse for the little grinding that we did do, not that it stoped her for wanting more and more) So, towards the end of our relationship, (she was in high school and was going to college out of state) she tells me that if I was to rape her that she would not hold it against me. So, sometime later we go out on a date (picnic up to a river in the mountains, little remote) perfect time to consimate our relationship, but I didn't do it. Our whole entire relationship, I had to intiate everything, so that she could be the innocent victim and her conscience can be clean. Even though I know she wanted it, I could not do it.

So yeah, I have some regret that I did not just rape her, (although it really would not have been rape.) But more over I regret wasting 2 years of my life on her. I was young and st*pid, thought that I knew what love was and when I didn't. She was a big fan of Phantom of the Opera. I always thought I would be her Raul, but I was truley the Phantom.

I guess that maybe I just think different than most because this question just doesn't make sense to me. I just don't understand ..... if you are with someone you love (especially married) why would you dwell on such things?

Hey,
I am married and have regretted not having sex with my hubby. I used to want the perfect situation first i.e. want the mood to be a certain way then I would let him have his way. Later on I would feel so bad realising that I was off-side and regret not making love to him.

Unfortunately it took me years to see that I was wrong and should let it be when it happens i.e. Planned sex is good just as being spontaneous..... Sex now happens whenever, however!!!

People regret the things they didn't do because they can imagine how they would have turned out. You can imagine the other person to be the perfect lover - the relationship to either last, or end, depending on your wishes. Yes, there are some opportunities that I regret not taking - but if I had, I might well regret that even more.

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

People regret the things they didn't do because they can imagine how they would have turned out. You can imagine the other person to be the perfect lover - the relationship to either last, or end, depending on your wishes. Yes, there are some opportunities that I regret not taking - but if I had, I might well regret that even more.

Yes, I can see what you are saying, but there again I still think what does it matter? If you are in a relationship where you are truly in love who cares what might have been with so-in-so. Regret in that area only makes me think that you are not happy or there are problems with who you are with. I don't know, maybe I just think to much about things.

Oh ... as far as the original question, you can probably guess what my answer is - no. The only regrets I do have are a couple that I did sleep with that I wished now I hadn't.

Fallen, You understand the point exactly. For example...many of us have situations where we did something that we later regret. My mind just flipped that question around and thought it would be interesting subject matter to discuss any of the times we regretted NOT doing something.

A personal example of this is that I (yes, am very happily married) did as much as I could with everyone I could prior to getting married. I've never made any bones about it (literally if you accept the pun...haha). On the other hand, I was my wife's first. She spent her adolescence being the "good girl" and she refused everyone (including me) until her wedding day. On one hand she's happy she did that. On another hand (22 years later) she thinks...."Why was it so ALL IMPORTANT for me to have a perfect reputation...I could have had a lot of fun back in the day that was foregone because I was convinced I needed to be a good girl." Now, does she want anyone else today? NO. Does she regret not having had some fun in her earlier life? Yep!

Now you're right about one other thing, Fallen. Does it mean anything? NO...is the fact that she had regrets about how she spent her adolescence going to change anything? NO...it's just an interesting topic for discussion. That's all.

Cheers.

One other point is that I believe life is way too short. We never have enough time to do all the things we want to do so it's our responsibility to seize as much of life as we can...NOW!

Sometimes it's good for people to look back and see how they'd do things differently because they're NOT DEAD. They may elect to do something else with the rest of their life. Now this comment doesn't pertain to the situation above, but in all honesty it "could".

If my wife really regretted not having played around when she was young, she could divorce me and go do whatever she wants to. Truth is that it's no biggie to her so she elects not to do that.

Cheers.

Fire(m), your wife sounds like me. I regret not having sex before marriage. I wonder what sex is like with other men, though I get erked at the thought of somebody else touching me....
I feel like I have been a good girl and always wanting my parents to be proud of me and not repeat thier mistakes ( I was born out of wedlock in the 70's - taboo!). So my parents were hard on me.

I wouldn't cheat or divorce my hubby. I actually had the chance to fool around but didn't - I guess the guy was not as handsome as my hubby to really get my attention!!!
My hubby once said he was scared that I would cheat on him just to feel what sex is like with somebody else. Well he does need to worry, he is all I need - anything more or different, I just demand from him....!!!!! (Poor man)....