Thread: Girlfriend and Sexual Troubles

I'm a male and new to the forums. I wanted to ask all of you ladies here for help with my relationship with my girlfriend of six months.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for six months now and a few days ago she drops some information about her past sexual history and how horrific it has been for her. She then proceeds to tell me other things and explains maybe these problems are mentally blocking her from having a fullfilled sex life. I was floored because she has seemed to enjoy sex up until this point. After questioning about our sex life I find out some things were not as they appeared.

She tells me that after about five minutes of sexual intercourse she cannot feel me inside of her and that because I take 30minutes-45minutes to climax that she is bored. Of course I am deeply hurt, and ask her why she lied to me for six months. I decided that because she wanted to please me and make me happy, and to protect my feelings, so I will not have any ill feelings towards her and have vowed to help her through this problem that we share.

I read somewhere that the vagina expands in length and width during sex that may be why after 5 minutes she cannot feel me. She explains that after that amount of time it feels just like someone is rubbing her with no pleasure, sort of like someone rubbing you on the arm. Of course she also mentions that after 45 minutes, just like if you were rubbing someones arm, that spot becomes sore and raw and she states that she only lets it drag on that long because she wants me to finish.

I have also noticed that she sees to have a wider vagina than most or is "looser" than other women I have slept with. We are also both overweight and I think that might contribute to our sexual frustrations as she is not as confident in herself and her body as a voluptuous woman should have.

I have also read that women, unlike many men are not sexually centered around physical pleasure. I asked her what she thinks about during sex, and she told me she thinks of nothing and doesn't know what she is supposed to be thinking about. Since I'm a man, I really just have to concentrate on the pleasure to climax, and when I go down on her so can she, but for intercourse I would like to know if any of you ladies out there could give her some insight on how to increase the sexual please. We have considered the option that I may be too small for her, but I continuously hit the end of her canal and and am of slightly above average girth and above average length. Additionally each time she has climaxed from intercourse I was hitting her clitoris in one way or another, missionary being her favorite position, but as she and I are overweight, it is sometimes hard to rub against.

In short I wanted to know if any of the women her could offer some insight to what is going on. If any of you have any questions that might aid in helping me figure this out, don't be afraid to ask me. Thank you all in advanced.

I can only speak for myself but I agree with your girlfriend in that after a while I get sore and raw and feel less pleasure and more could ya hurry up with that thing huh...

Not quite sure where the thinking that men have to last forever to be wow sex comes in to thinking. I have on occasion been the recipient of a long session. We focused on more foreplay for him and the actual intercourse took less time. Not saying I don't enjoy intercourse just not marathons. Taking him to the edge of his orgasm then backing off and having intercourse helped alot.

Also, mindset does play a large role in pleasure. Maybe talk her through a fantasy during intercourse...get her mind going. Most women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone and require some kind of clitoral stimulation. If you need more time to orgasm, maybe a mini vibe or bullet or egg for her to manipulate herself with during that time?

I'm not a female, but I agree with uneeklyme on a couple of points.

1) Get her mind going...build it up...get her hot and horny and excited. Her mind is her most important sexual organ. Think about it. If the mind says "NO" the body isn't doing a thing. If the mind says "yes Yes YEs YES YES YES YES YES YES!!!!!!" What's the body gonna do with THAT!

2) Agreed that most women can't orgasm from intercourse. Get her a bullet vibe and let her put it between you while you go at it. Instant cure for boredom...and while she's thrashing about in multi-orgasmic pleasure, you'll probably pop your cork in due course as well.

Cheers.

Originally Posted by arandomotaku

....I take 30minutes-45minutes to climax...

I hate when people come here to brag...

Seriously though, yeah take more time with fore play. Have her stimulate you more with either hand or mouth and both.

Ben-wa balls up her back door can help with the loose fit.

have fun

[QUOTE=damd;47716]I hate when people come here to brag...

I don't really think its appropriate to make light of something that is important to me. I'm not bragging, I'm just stating a fact about my body. If that was a joke, I missed it.

I agree as well, you have to keep things interresting. if you get bord try something new as stated use toys, role play live out fanticies. i know me personally i like toys and oils (ky yours & mine is my favorite) i also like for my man to take control pull my hair smack my type stuff. dont let your size be a problem everyone is beautiful in their own way. also a little extra for her, and you as well if you into that kinda stuff talk to her about getting her hood pierced. i had a great sex life before mine but now i cant even begin to describe it, i my self am like her i get off easier by "ciltoral action" it did hurt when i got it but it was worth it. but in general find thing that interest her n run with it.

Originally Posted by arandomotaku

I don't really think its appropriate to make light of something that is important to me. I'm not bragging, I'm just stating a fact about my body. If that was a joke, I missed it.

You're right and I apologize. I was trying to make light of your situation and you did miss the joke. As there are people who have other sexual problems with premature ejaculation and women who wish thier man can preform longer.

So maybe you need to ease up. Not stress to much about your situation and try to relax. Let your mind be at ease and maybe sex will not seem so much as a chore.

Good luck

I hope I am replying to this right as I am new to the forum .

I have to agree with all the previous comments that suggested you get her mind into it .

Might I also advise a change in position . I am a girl and there are positions that my significant other really enjoys , but it only feels good for me for a few moments . You might ask your woman what position she would like to try , if you arent sure what all is out there , there are many sites and books available for you both to look through .Sometimes a new angle can make the difference . Also , you might want to try some type of lube for longer sessions , particularly if she isnt as into it as you are , that should help cut down on the sore feeling. I hope my suggestions help.