Thread: Sex questions for a newbie! Help..?

If your doing this for the first time think about the long term a little bit. I think a lot of women would agree that they might be more choosy if they could go back and do it again. If he is making you bleed when your doing "outercourse" two bad things are going on.

#1 Is it that your not saying anything? Men can't read our minds and if this one is hurting you and your not saying anything WHY? Dear you have to communicate clearly. Its not going to crush his tender male ego.

#2 If you are saying that he is hurting you and he keeps doing it? Find a new boyfriend!

Intercourse comes with a lot of baggage. Condoms are better then nothing but how many of us got pregnant when we were protected? Condoms break, they fall off and men make BILLIONS of sperm with each ejaculation. It takes ONE. That is why its important to select partners that are more then just willing and or fun in bed. I know I'm sounding like a mom but its a lesson we all learned and many of us too late. Does he have a job? Is he sane? Is he on drugs/booze and been that way for a while? Ask these hard questions and try to picture some worse case scenarios.

Trust me I'm no prude and I'm not telling you to wait until your married but DO ponder more then the mechanical acts of sex when your planning on doing this for the first time. Its more important now what with all these STDs and AIDs issues. And whatever your stand on abortion you don't want to have to make that decision.

Take care and be safe...

Originally Posted by lalalady

I do have a question...is there a right time to have sex, where there is the lowest chance of conception? Like, in relation to your period..?

There are good and bad times to have sex based on your menstrual cycle. I HIGHLY recommend getting yourself a copy of a book called "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler. It will teach you everything you need to know about your cycle and if you want, there are methods to track where you are so you can tell when you're about to ovulate (and should therefore abstain from sex to be safe). Tracking things like this involves taking your temperature every day, checking what your cervical mucous is like, and feeling your cervix as it changes in firmness throughout the month. Even if you can't commit to doing these things every day, it will serve you well to just be aware of the signs. Knowing your body is ALWAYS a good thing.

As a general guideline, it would be good to avoid sex when your mucous is really thick, clear, and the consistency of raw eggwhites. If you get some on your thumb and forefinger and rub them together, you should then be able to pull your fingers apart slowly, and the mucous will stretch between them, without breaking. When you have this kind of discharge you are really fertile. But obviously, this sign alone is not enough to go by.

Hope this helps a bit. Check out the book. Women should be educated about their bodies and their cycles. This kind of information should be really be known by every woman.