Okay, I knoe I posted this a long time ago, but I didn't get too many responses. So maybe the second time is the charm. Please help me!

I have more concerns about my first. Here are some things I wish would be answered for me!!
-What is the best position for two people with no sex backgrounds
-what are some tips to make the first easy and fun(if it can be)
-are there any pre-sex things to prep me for sex
- What are possible after effects? (BESIDES pregnancy) Pains, bleeding?
-is spermicide really effective, and can that be substitued in for lubrication? or both?
- my boyfriend penis is very large, is there a position that suits both me and him? (most comfortable, most pleasurable..etc)
-any hints/tips/ tricks that will help me!?
Please help!


***I would also like to add, that when my boyfriend fingers me, I do occasionally bleed. It usually isn't bad, just on his fingers and a little bloody discharge after, but sometimes it is a lot. I also have very irregular periods, sometimes not getting them for months.
I don't know if this could hurt my sex life, will I bleed more, will it hurt more?
Let's just say my boyfriend always uses three fingers too, and he has big hands. So will that prep me for his even larger penis?

I'd say missionary is the best bet for first time intercourse. It's an easy position to get into and he can see what he's doing. To make things fun, just enjoy being with each other. Don't think about the sex act itself. Take things slow. Have lots of touching, rubbing, kissing, etc. Whatever you usually do, do all those things before attempting penetration. I can't really suggest any sex prep things other than relaxation and allowing yourself time to get fully aroused and wet.

Everybody is different in how their first time goes. You may have pain, you may have bleeding. Just make him go slowly and gently. You could be sore for a couple of days, so don't attempt to have sex again until your body has healed.

I'd steer clear of the spermicide myself. It's debatable that it actually does anything and many people have a bad reaction to the chemical in it. But DO get lubricated condoms and buy a bottle of lube in case you need extra help. Astroglide is readily available in pharmacies and should be adequate. Do not use anything like KY Warming Liquid. Too many women have bad reactions to that and you particularly don't want it in case you have any tearing or bleeding.

For a large penis I'd say avoid doggy style initially as it allows deep penetration and could be uncomfortable for you. You could try being on top as you can then control how deep he can go.

Regarding bleeding when he fingers you, I'd really suggest you have him cut back to just one or two fingers (unless you really like three!). My boyfriend has massive hands and the thought of three of his fingers up there is not appealing to me! But I have no problems with his penis, which is a bit above average. Plus, penises have no sharp edges the way fingers do (fingernails, hangnails, calluses). It could be he's accidentally scraping you inside and you just don't feel it. The upper portion of the vagina doesn't really have any nerve endings the way the entrance does.

Good luck!

Wow, thank you so much for your detailled response! You covered basically all of my questions (although everyones point of view is certainly welcomed and wanted)
I guess spermicide really is not the way to go, because you are one of many people who told me not to use it. Lubricated condoms are a necesity, because I want it to be as comfortable as possible.
As far as the styles, I am hoping to attempt doggy style in the future. But for the first time, I am not worried that he will try to go too deep, so missionary style would probably be my first choice. I trust him completely, and love him very much, which is why I do want to have sex with him.
Again, thank you so much for your response!
Everyone else, please, please,please give me your insight!!
Thank you!
♥lalalady

AstroGlide is a good thing. Even more so when used with a lubricated condom. Speaking of which, a friend of mine accidentally bought UNlubed condoms one time and she told me it felt like her uterus fell out. So always check the package to make sure it says LUBRICATED.

I prefer Durex brand condoms, personally. Especially the "Natural Feeling" style.
Don't plan on having sex for hours the first time. Since you're a virgin it won't last very long. I've never been with a virgin, but I've been with women who might as well have been. It never lasts long when a woman is that tight.

Don't expect to come or orgasm your first time. Not unless you've already had one. But even then you'll be in a good amount of pain and might not be able to.

If you don't already, I would recommend both of you shaving "down stairs." Pardon the phrasing, but it makes for a smoother ride.

As far as "prep" goes, make sure that you yourself are adequately wet before he goes inside of you.

Anything else and I think I'd be repeating silvertae.

Best of luck.

OG

its pretty much like everyone else said now about the positions i think missionary is a little bit more romantic as well as comfortable, especially for your first time.... and make sure that forplay happens for you especially. if you orgasm you are wet enough that everything should be fine, lubrication may also be a really good idea too. good luck and enjoy your first time.
cheers

Oh yeah, I wanna make one more point, because in my experience, guys just don't understand how initial penetration should be done (particularly if it's your first time or the guy has a large penis). He needs to sort of make shallow repeated rocking strokes when first putting it in. Just trying to penetrate by pushing insistently in without any forward and back movement is a BAD idea. Having him thrust in and out repeatedly, gradually sliding further and futher in will give your own natural lube time to coat him and/or spread the artificial lube inside. Once he's take the time to gradually work it in like that, and you're comfortable, then he can start taking full strokes (assuming he lasts that long ).

Well , my first question is does your boyfriend have longer fingernails ? I know that may not be what you were thinking , but long nails can do some serious damage , causing cuts and bleeding , or even infections ( so if your man has long nails , get him to trim them )

Everyone on here has had great ideas. I would also add that for the first time , make sure its on a soft surface , i.e. a bed or mattress of some kind. Also , putting a pillow under your hips can make it more comfortable for you , because it gives your hips a tilt and most unexpieranced guys can have issues aiming or not sliding out. Lube is also a very good thing . Try to just get water based stuff that isnt scented or anything like that.

And to reiterate ... RELAX. Dont expect it to be perfect , but dont expect it to be horrible . Please also remember to STOP if it hurts you or you get scared or upset.( many girls wont do this ... but use your voice. If he loves you , he doesnt want to hurt you , but might not know he is ) That is perfectly all right . You want to be emotional comfortable and physical comfortable .

That is about all I have to say. So Lube. Relax . Use your voice and remember you can say STOP