Thread: Sex questions for a newbie! Help..?

I'd say missionary is the best bet for first time intercourse. It's an easy position to get into and he can see what he's doing. To make things fun, just enjoy being with each other. Don't think about the sex act itself. Take things slow. Have lots of touching, rubbing, kissing, etc. Whatever you usually do, do all those things before attempting penetration. I can't really suggest any sex prep things other than relaxation and allowing yourself time to get fully aroused and wet.

Everybody is different in how their first time goes. You may have pain, you may have bleeding. Just make him go slowly and gently. You could be sore for a couple of days, so don't attempt to have sex again until your body has healed.

I'd steer clear of the spermicide myself. It's debatable that it actually does anything and many people have a bad reaction to the chemical in it. But DO get lubricated condoms and buy a bottle of lube in case you need extra help. Astroglide is readily available in pharmacies and should be adequate. Do not use anything like KY Warming Liquid. Too many women have bad reactions to that and you particularly don't want it in case you have any tearing or bleeding.

For a large penis I'd say avoid doggy style initially as it allows deep penetration and could be uncomfortable for you. You could try being on top as you can then control how deep he can go.

Regarding bleeding when he fingers you, I'd really suggest you have him cut back to just one or two fingers (unless you really like three!). My boyfriend has massive hands and the thought of three of his fingers up there is not appealing to me! But I have no problems with his penis, which is a bit above average. Plus, penises have no sharp edges the way fingers do (fingernails, hangnails, calluses). It could be he's accidentally scraping you inside and you just don't feel it. The upper portion of the vagina doesn't really have any nerve endings the way the entrance does.

Good luck!

AstroGlide is a good thing. Even more so when used with a lubricated condom. Speaking of which, a friend of mine accidentally bought UNlubed condoms one time and she told me it felt like her uterus fell out. So always check the package to make sure it says LUBRICATED.

I prefer Durex brand condoms, personally. Especially the "Natural Feeling" style.
Don't plan on having sex for hours the first time. Since you're a virgin it won't last very long. I've never been with a virgin, but I've been with women who might as well have been. It never lasts long when a woman is that tight.

Don't expect to come or orgasm your first time. Not unless you've already had one. But even then you'll be in a good amount of pain and might not be able to.

If you don't already, I would recommend both of you shaving "down stairs." Pardon the phrasing, but it makes for a smoother ride.

As far as "prep" goes, make sure that you yourself are adequately wet before he goes inside of you.

Anything else and I think I'd be repeating silvertae.

Best of luck.

OG

its pretty much like everyone else said now about the positions i think missionary is a little bit more romantic as well as comfortable, especially for your first time.... and make sure that forplay happens for you especially. if you orgasm you are wet enough that everything should be fine, lubrication may also be a really good idea too. good luck and enjoy your first time.
cheers

Oh yeah, I wanna make one more point, because in my experience, guys just don't understand how initial penetration should be done (particularly if it's your first time or the guy has a large penis). He needs to sort of make shallow repeated rocking strokes when first putting it in. Just trying to penetrate by pushing insistently in without any forward and back movement is a BAD idea. Having him thrust in and out repeatedly, gradually sliding further and futher in will give your own natural lube time to coat him and/or spread the artificial lube inside. Once he's take the time to gradually work it in like that, and you're comfortable, then he can start taking full strokes (assuming he lasts that long ).

Not that this is a big deal, because I hear it's common with many women, but don't be surprised if you end up with some type of UTI afterwards. I had to stop wearing condoms with my current girlfriend (her tubes are tied) because she would end up with a UTI after each time.

It was most likely a reaction to the spermicide on the condom than anything else, but don't be surprised if it happens.

OG

Originally Posted by lalalady

The one thing that is getting to me is what OG said, about the UTI.
...What is that? And if it only occurs because of spermicide, then I won't have to worry (I don't want to use that stuff)

Really, don't concern yourself about a UTI. It's a urinary tract infection. It can be caused by the friction during sex, which can sort of force bacteria into the urethra. However, I wouldn't really call it "common". It's certainly not abnormal, but I'd say most women manage to have a load of sex without any UTI issues. Just make sure you're both nice and clean, that you're well-hydrated and that you pee after sex. Peeing will help to flush out anything that might have be present.

I've never had a UTI in nine years of having sex, though some women are prone to them. Just don't worry about this (unless you develop severe pain in the days following sex). You have enough to think about, without fretting about a rather unlikely occurrence.