Thread: bf who's addicted to masterbation

Originally Posted by jessica

Ok i know that masterbating is normal and that tons of people do it, but my boyfriend is addicted. If we don't have sex then he does his thing. Grante I'm thankful hes not getting it from some where else but it kinda makes me feel worthless. Like im not good enough to wait for. We've talked about it before be he's like its something that he has done for a a long time and would be a hard habit to break. Am i wrong for feeling this way? I don't know what to do. i mean i love him, and am not going to leave him for it, it just bothers me as a female that he can't wait for our time. has anyone been through this or can give me some ideas on how to deal with this?

I understand where your coming from but take it from a man that if we dont "relieve" ourselves maybe within a week or so then it actually starts to hurt. It feels like someone has a strong grip on our balls and is squeezing very tightly and it does hurt. Granted that this is if he doesn't masturbate for a week or two.

If he is a chronic masterbator then it honestly doesn't have anything to do with you, It just means he has a allot testosterone.

I understand that it makes you question your femininity and you dont want to be seen as unattractive at least in your eyes. Dont let it get to you because honestly it doesn't have anything to do with you.

There may be something on your BF mind and he just uses masturbation as a form of releasing tension build up.

Also for some men the purpose of masturbation may not be to be sexually aroused and orgasm. It may be as simple has HE IS BORED and has nothing else to do.

This goes without saying but men Love our penises. If we have nothing to do why not play with your most prized toy.

Hope this helps

Live laugh and love

Originally Posted by jessica

first off thank you for you input. yes i do understand, but its not like we go weeks at a time without having sex we live together. i think his is more when he gets bored or when im not home having trouble going to sleep. (at least that is what he says). i personally don't understand it. i have tried it a couple time but it was with him to give him enjoyment, not saying i didn't like it. but its not something that i would want to do on a regular basis. and not to much with out him around. thats what hes for.

haha.

Ok... When a man ejaculates the brain sends a cocktail of brain chemicals. Such as norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, nitric oxide, and prolactin. Most of these has side effects such as drowsiness and tends to relax the body causing him to sleep. Others such as oxytocin reduces stress so if he has anything on his mind it may make him forget about it enough to fall asleep.

All very strong arguments to support your boyfriends case.

My friend is a medic and I told him that some nights I had trouble falling asleep and he told me just to masturbate and low and behold I go to sleep.

I know the common misconception is that men can be turned on like a switch and that is only true for men that dont have sex. Since he his your boyfriend I'm assuming your having sex a few times a week. So you have to also have some foreplay when trying to excite him.


Btw. What are you trying to say in the last two sentences. Sorry but i dont understand.

Hope this helps

live laugh and love

Originally Posted by jessica

Ok i know that masterbating is normal and that tons of people do it, but my boyfriend is addicted. If we don't have sex then he does his thing. Grante I'm thankful hes not getting it from some where else but it kinda makes me feel worthless. Like im not good enough to wait for. We've talked about it before be he's like its something that he has done for a a long time and would be a hard habit to break. Am i wrong for feeling this way? I don't know what to do. i mean i love him, and am not going to leave him for it, it just bothers me as a female that he can't wait for our time. has anyone been through this or can give me some ideas on how to deal with this?

As long as he is not rejecting sex with you in order to masturbate, there's nothing at all wrong with what he's doing. Masturbation is an entirely different beast to having sex with someone. It's can be personal private time for someone; it can be something they do out of boredom; it can be a stress-reliever; and it can just feel good! The fact that he masturbates doesn't mean ANYTHING about how he feels about you (unless, as I said, he avoids sex with you in order to masturbate...then there's a real problem that needs to be resolved).

I masturbate less now than I used to, but I still do it on occasion and I know my boyfriend does it fairly regularly. I don't see it as at all connected to our sexual life together. I masturbate for a variety of reasons (and I'm a chick). Sometimes I'm actually horny and want to get off. Sometimes I'm bored. Sometimes I'm having trouble falling asleep and if I force out an orgasm quickly enough it can wear me out enough to sleep. Besides, when I masturbate I can do things EXACTLY how I want them and have an assured fantastic orgasm without having to worry about taking care of someone else, etc. I can watch whatever porn I want, think about whatever I want, go at whatever pace I want. These are things you can't always do when you have someone else that you need to be paying attention to and pleasing. Anyway it's my body and I know it best, so sometimes I just want to have things entirely my way. If my boyfriend were to say that I should only have orgasms with him, I'd be fuming mad. And I would never try to say that to him. We all have a right to engage in such a harmless activity in order to get a little pleasure.

Though, I can understand how you might not have considered these factors if you don't masturbate. I can understand if someone just genuinely prefers to ALWAYS get their sexual meets met with another person. But you can't expect your boyfriend to feel the same way. He's normal and healthy. Maybe you should get yourself some good erotica and have a good go at pleasing yourself. You should never feel ashamed or uncomfortable about touching ANY place on your own body.

Hope it helps to get a different female perspective on this!

The bottom line is, if it's interfering with your sex life then the issue needs to be addressed. But if you are satisfied then adopt the "Don't ask Don't tell" policy....