re: closed peg's - Page 2

**gyrator53** · #11 08-20-2008, 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoebee

Actually I'm very happy to switch this from females "pegging" men to men using strapons because of ED/Impotence.

In regards to it being a tool to use for Male Sexual Dysfunction he is the one wearing the strap on and the question of it being Gender bending or "gay" is less often brought up. And using a dildo that is more "human" looking doesn't make it so weird. Or so I think.

For a man who has medical issues and had serious difficulty getting an erection even with medical aids this can be a real plus. There is a paper on this talking about it helping both the male and female in the relationship. For the male the "loss" of his maleness is fixed (At least in part) For the female who equates sex with intercourse and is able to have it again in this form its a plus. The oddness of course is that couples may be a bit freaked out about buying the proper equipment as its not exactly an item that your Doctor might suggest. The purpose of the paper was to suggest that in a case like this a Doctor should offer it as a valid solution *To which we both agree! Taking this out of the "sex toy" store and making it mainstream seems positive.

In regards to your comment about Oral sex being taboo not long ago. Yes, very true. My parents were from the era where the only people who gave BJs were hookers or "sluts."

Frankly I'm very happy that these days are behind me because while I could live without having to DO BJs I would be a very unhappy camper if I never got any oral sex. ;-)

Sorry for taking so long to respond to your post - I have been trying to get my thoughts properly ordered on this. As I mentioned elsewhere my experience of ED was, thankfully, short-lived and of psychological, not physical, origin. It was no less real for all that. Of course the pressure on the man to satisfy his partner builds up pretty rapidly and only adds to the psychological problem. Although I never tried this (because a penis-ring worked for me) I'm sure that being able to use a strapon to satisfy my wife would have helped especially as she is, perhaps unusually, so-so about oral and not keen on vibrators at all!

I guess where pegging comes into this is that it can address the physical needs of the man. It offers a way of giving a profound physical stimulation - one often capable of inducing orgasm - to the man without stimulation of the penis. I'm not sure how else you could achieve this. In my, admittedly brief, experience of the ED problem the last thing you want is for your wife to keep stimulating your flaccid penis - it simply highlights the problem. Perhaps one could learn to orgasm from this in time but I think it would take a degree of acceptance of the problem that I was not able to have.

**shweedart** · #12 08-20-2008, 11:30 AM

If people don't like the topic being discussed then they have no reason to read any further than the title. Fair enough its a health site but it does say

'Sex All right Ladies- Share tips, tricks, advice, and experiences on how to spicen up that bedroom!'

**rcoreyus** · #13 08-20-2008, 12:43 PM

I think it is risky for the group to limit discussions on consensual activities between adults. As shweedart said, anyone who doesn't want to see posts on a particular topic doesn't need to read.

Different people find different things offensive: pegging, BDSM, anal, multiple partners, homosexuality, unmarrried sex, etc.

But others may be interested in any or all of the above.

As a side note, I'm a bit distrubed by posts of the form "I enjoy X, but I'm not gay". Suggests that being gay is so bad that the poster needs to convince the readers that he/she is STRIGHT, no questions about it. Why?

**Phoebee** · #14 08-20-2008, 04:23 PM

Re the last post. We are one of those not gay couples. Neither of us is seriously homophobic but the original thread kept repeating that anyone doing Pegging was just an "excuse" to do gay sex. This might be true for some couples. And if that really is their bag? Well.. Whatever... My comment was that at least in our case it was just straight people doing sex a bit different with toys.

Try not to read tone or emotion into posts. If you knew us you would know were far from "anti-Gay" Ok?

Back to the post on men with ED/Impotence using strap ons. I'm puzzeled by the comment made that the last thing a man wants is his wife to touch him there when he is not able to get erect. We now know that DH can orgasm without an erection. If he is (for example) wearing the strap on rubbing against the base can bring him to climax. If we use our Hitachi wand vibe back there its for sure nice atomic level orgasmic things are going to happen and he is quite happy doing that. But... He also won't let me NEAR his bits when he is flacid unless there is some hope he can get erect (Viagra Tablets etc)

Why? ? ?

**gyrator53** · #15 08-20-2008, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rcoreyus

As a side note, I'm a bit distrubed by posts of the form "I enjoy X, but I'm not gay". Suggests that being gay is so bad that the poster needs to convince the readers that he/she is STRIGHT, no questions about it. Why?

I think posts of the sort you mention are largely as a response to others who, probably maliciously, try irrationally to link certain activities to a particular sexuality with statements like "anyone who does that is gay for sure". I think it's reasonable that people don't want their sexuality misrepresented any more than they would want, say, their nationality misrepresented. I don't see that someone insisting that they are straight implies that they consider being gay as bad any more than my asserting that I'm English implies that being Australian is bad.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoebee

But... He also won't let me NEAR his bits when he is flacid unless there is some hope he can get erect (Viagra Tablets etc)

Why? ? ?

I think there are two reasons for this. Firstly the purely physical one that the sensitivity of the penis is much reduced when flaccid so unless stimulation starts to induce an erection the sensation remains muted. Secondly, and the one that caused me to retreat from being stimulated while flaccid, is that it was throwing my inability into the forefront. One could say that I was simply trying to hide from the problem but, strange as it seems, I could sometimes get an erection purely from the mental stimulus of giving oral sex to my wife in situations where direct penile stimulation had failed.

As I mentioned my problems were psychological so I guess things would be somewhat different where the problem is physical.

**Phoebee** · #16 08-20-2008, 07:17 PM

I asked DH why he doesn't want me near his penis when there is little to no chance he will get erect (His condition is medical btw) He agreed with your second point. He said he never put it together in those words but that its correct. He said that he is just as sensitive flacid as erect however. And he is fully able to reach climax and even ejaculate while flacid. He admitted he thought erection was required for orgasm and was quite surprised when it happened without an erection.

Anyhow, he turned beat red when I asked him so I hate to pry more into this.

Honestly I don't know what the big deal is. Sex (good sex) is more then intercourse and if his fell off and all he had was what he could do without one I would still be happy and satisfied with our sex life.

Can I just tell you that your ability to get erect is not the end of the world to at least some of us women? And that the only thing that really annoys and discourages us is that you won't seek medical or mental help for it when it happens? A change in how you do sex? Not a big deal. Being crabby and not doing anything?

**rcoreyus** · #17 08-20-2008, 11:54 PM

just wanted to say that I wasn't picking on anyone in particular about the "but I'm not gay" comments. Sorry if it sounded that way.

**gyrator53** · #18 08-25-2008, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Davey