Hello! I'm new here so go easy on me!

I've read a few threads below of a woman talking about her bf having lost his sex drive. Well,in my case, the lost sex drive is myself. It's been pretty much a year and I've got nada, zilch, nothing. We do have sex, but mostly it's because I can see that my fiance is going to explode because it's so infrequent and spaced out. He's really understanding, but it's basically torture for him to always have to basically beg for it. I'm always too tired, or just have absolutely no interest. He is very patient, and tries everything (spontaneity, dirty talk, loving gestures, new things...everything), but it just seems more of a bother than a pleasure for me and I find myself avoiding any situations where I might have to...ex: going to sleep very early. We are so young (I'm 24, he's 28) and are not even married yet. We've been together 3 years, and we once had a great sex life. I feel horrible, and plus it's just not healthy. Can anyone shed any light on some steps to help me improve my sex drive? Could it be my birth control (although I've been on it for well over since before I met him)? Could there be a medication that could work? Any and all suggestions are welcome. Thanks Ladies!

Do you exercise regularly? That could increase your energy levels and get your blood pumping again.

You could get your testosterone levels checked. Women need testosterone too and low levels can diminish your sex drive.

I was on the receiving end of a relationship like this, and let me tell you, it is torture, and it bleeds into most aspects of your life. I didn't manage to fix that girl, but some of the stuff that should help...:

Exercise
Healthier eating
Check out hormone levels, testosterone
Make a concious effort to want to be sexual!
Any problems in your past that need addressing?
Any relationship issues you are concerned about, maybe repressing?
If you have any self confidence issues, address them. Do what you must to feel sexy.
Even if you aren't that up for it, just initiate sex anyway, in these situations you'll get into the swing of things.
Dont expect things to magically get better. You have a mind, and determination, make it happen!
Apparently fish oil suppliments are good for the ladies' sex drive.

Give him lots and lots of blowjobs. I cannot stress this enough. Just because you are not sexual doesn't mean he isn't. Even if the thought doesn't do a lot for him, just do it anyway. It might be the only way to save the relationship... Suck girl suck!

Constantly feeling like you get nothing from your partner absolutely sucks. He's probably tempted to leave the relationship. I mean I'm mega understanding and compasionate, etc (yeah - really, haha) and it was really doing my head in.

You should get to a doctor and get checked out to make sure your hormones are doing what they're supposed to do etc. Barring any physical issues...

Know that few things worth having are either free or easy. You have to work for them. You can't just let your body dictate what it wants. You have to dictate to your body what YOU want.

Your greatest sexual organ is between your ears. It's your brain. My suggestion (seriously) is to examine your attitude(s) toward your boyfriend and your attitude(s) about sex and your sexuality. If this relationship is worth something to you, you have to put the energy into it to make it work.

Like I said above, barring any physical complications, you can do anything you want to do. You have to want to do it though. It's all up to you. Do you want to have a happy and healthy relationship? If so, that includes having a happy and healthy sex life. All relationships are two-way streets. Sometimes there are rough spots in relationships. Sometimes those rough spots are hard to overcome. But if the relationship is worth it, then you work with it...you TRY to overcome the problem.

It sounds to me like you're waiting for a magic "fix" to arrive in your dreams when you need to be making the "fix" for yourself. If the relationship is important to you, make it happen. Once you really start working for your relationship, your investment will begin to pay off. Then it becomes more enjoyable to you and you will want to make it even better...before you know it having a great relationship will be a lot of fun, but it's always a lot of work.

Cheers.