Mama's got a ghetto booty

[Aithneu]

My parents have struggled for years on my mom's weight and i think my dad has come to terms with it. however, she insists on wearing those early nineties high cut jeans with no pockets and elastic band waists, making her already larger than life butt look larger! Also, in her age she has gained a bit of a belly- like a pot belly...understandable, but unattractive to my Dad. I love her to death, but she says when I try to dress her I put in her in "teeny bopper" clothes. I'm taking her out shopping next weekend, so what should I buy her that will help accentuate her beauty as a thicker lady in her fifties?

[ChelseaRenee]

My parents have struggled for years on my mom's weight and i think my dad has come to terms with it. however, she insists on wearing those early nineties high cut jeans with no pockets and elastic band waists, making her already larger than life butt look larger! Also, in her age she has gained a bit of a belly- like a pot belly...understandable, but unattractive to my Dad. I love her to death, but she says when I try to dress her I put in her in "teeny bopper" clothes. I'm taking her out shopping next weekend, so what should I buy her that will help accentuate her beauty as a thicker lady in her fifties?

No offense, but your dad sounds like a butthead. "Come to terms" with her? Yeah, ok. I'm sure he's no prize, either. He should love her just the way she is, not struggle to come to terms with it. TBH, I'm sure it hurts her feelings that both her husband and her daughter are putting so much emphasis on her looks...Has she not been a great wife and mom?

My advice? Leave your mom alone. She's in her 50's. She carried you for 9 months, took care of you for 18, and your dad for God knows how many years. He should appreciate her just the way she is.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

No offense, but your dad sounds like a butthead. "Come to terms" with her? Yeah, ok. I'm sure he's no prize, either. He should love her just the way she is, not struggle to come to terms with it. TBH, I'm sure it hurts her feelings that both her husband and her daughter are putting so much emphasis on her looks...Has she not been a great wife and mom?

My advice? Leave your mom alone. She's in her 50's. She carried you for 9 months, took care of you for 18, and your dad for God knows how many years. He should appreciate her just the way she is.

Um, sorry got to agree here!!

Unless your Mother wants to change what are you both doing?

Making into what you want her to be?

She's a beautiful Woman in her own right, take away her dignity and you take away her laughter....

We are all beautiful in our own way.. Let each person be who the he11 they want to be, life is like that.

CW

[Aithneu]

wow, I guess I must've come off as some type of b*tch, but my apologies. Well I can definitely see where you could be coming from but imagine eating nothing but baby food to support your three hundred pound mother having gastric bypass surgery that then bankrupts your family leaving your father who worked very hard to have good credit in the dustpan. then watch her grow after dropping pounds because of a strong addiction to food, narcotics and alcohol. she's back to her original weight now, and it's her own fault. I have been nothing but supportive the whole time and now that they AREN'T going to get a divorce she would like me to find her some clothes that make her look nice despite her weight. so MY BAD for asking advice. I guess I'll look somewhere else.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

No perhaps you needed to say what you just said, addiction, narcotics, alcohol, eating disorder, financial hardship in with the question.

We can only answer based on what a person writes.

Well, she needs outside help, she has an addictive personality, google the words and you will see what it means.

It's great that you want to help her but she can't do it.

She needs to establish why she has all of these addictions and get to the heart/root of the problem and work with the problem.

If someone is depressed for instance, they eat and eat, (other's starve themselves), alcohol and drugs, a way of not facing things..

She needs outside help, and maybe to realise that she is destroying her family and their hearts.

And, your previous question ( stress ) the bumps are from you being constantly stressed.

CW

[Livelaughlove]

wow, I guess I must've come off as some type of b*tch, but my apologies. Well I can definitely see where you could be coming from but imagine eating nothing but baby food to support your three hundred pound mother having gastric bypass surgery that then bankrupts your family leaving your father who worked very hard to have good credit in the dustpan. then watch her grow after dropping pounds because of a strong addiction to food, narcotics and alcohol. she's back to her original weight now, and it's her own fault. I have been nothing but supportive the whole time and now that they AREN'T going to get a divorce she would like me to find her some clothes that make her look nice despite her weight. so MY BAD for asking advice. I guess I'll look somewhere else.

I may get attacked for this but I honestly dont think you should apologize to anyone here. You will never meet these people so why walk on egg shells around them. As long as your respectfull then Say whats on your mind and take a look at the advice and you judge what you belive is good advice.

If you think the peole here think your a b*tch then why should you care. They dont know how you are except for this 1 post.

I personally think that obese people are typically not healthy. The human Body is not meant to be 300lbs or even 200+ depending on the frame. My mom is overweight too. She has alot of stress and I think really can't and doesn't know how to get herself back in shape. Some people just dont have the will power to help themselves.

Im the one that has pushed her into eating right and trying to get her back in shape working out and running. Most people just accept the way they are and dont want to put in the effort.

I think the fact that your trying to help her shows you love instead of just "accepting it" and let her fall into this downward spiral.

I respect you for doing what your doing. Wish you and your mom the best.

Live laugh and love

[ChelseaRenee]

Wow. The way you worded it was that your mom was a little overweight and you dad doesn't find her attractive so you all pick at her constantly for it. I mean, come ON, you even referred to is as a "ghetto booty" so yeah, it sounded pretty bad. Being morbidly obese and having multiple addictions is completely different. She has issues, big ones, that go far deeper than her wearing ugly pants and being fat, so maybe you should have asked for different advice than fashion.

I can't offer much help...The fact that she's got all the issues being well into her 50's doesn't bode well for having a good recovery usually

[Aithneu]

well originally i didn't intend on giving out that information, but someone jumped my case so i divulged. i figured someone maybe who is themselves big and beautiful could offer advice for her since i am the complete opposite body type from her. btw livelaughlove thank you for your comments and i just gotta say my "apology" was definitely not a heartfelt real one, it was 110% sarcasm. Further I agree with you that once you're that large you know what you're up to and it's your own fault.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Aithneu
I agree with you that once you're that large you know what you're up to and it's your own fault

Directed at LLL..

But, why do you think it's "her" fault?

She has addictions? I appreciate you were looking for someone of that weight that could say hey she should do this that, but the thing is, depression "put's on weight" and the lower you go, the more weight attaches. ( Well, some go the opposite) I understand that, but again, you sound like your upset with her, for being this way?

I am sorry, as Chelsea said, it's hard to ascertain what a person want's as advice sometimes, if their thread is "short"...

But could it be that she really,reallly has issues?

And, needs actually support and help?

CW

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Yeah, fat people never can seem to help themselves, because it requires a lifestyle change instead of a few months dieting. And it's simply a fact that being obese is terrible. Health factors, the fact that you can't perform any athleticism, and unattractiveness. I mean, how you find someone sexually attractive is mans genes selecting healthy breeding stock. You can't blame men for that.

If you had a slim wife who blossomed out to be 300 pounds, you would obviously not be happy with it. And he's been the bigger man (), and accepted her for who she is - so lets have a little less blame chucked at him.

Personally, if someone changed shape radically it would make me reevaluate things. I mean, seriously, sex and attraction are important. If you don't have them, you have a contract.