friends with benefits?

[euphoria]

I have recently had sex with someone i'm not dating. My first time (ever) was last month and have only done it one other time since. We're not together and it worries me that it's all he wants me for. We have a very good relationship as friends, we're very close. We've been "talking" since november and one night i slept over his house and it just happened. The thing that bothers me is that he didn't kiss me in the morning & didn't talk to me until the next night. And on new years eve i also slept over his house, along with other people, & i was probably setting myself up for it cause it happened again. I had left early that morning, around 8, and my friend had told me later on that day that he came into the room she was sleeping in and practically woke her up to kiss her. We did agree to be friends with benefits but i meant that i'm the only one he's doing it with.

Should i say something to him or do i have no right since we're fwb?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

We're not together and it worries me that it's all he wants me for.

The thing that bothers me is that he didn't kiss me in the morning & didn't talk to me until the next night.

and my friend had told me later on that day that he came into the room she was sleeping in and practically woke her up to kiss her.

We did agree to be friends with benefits but i meant that i'm the only one he's doing it with.

Pends on what you really want.

Friends, with benefits is exactly that, they don't have to kiss you in the morning and make you feel good, because your not in a relationship. They don't have to be exclusive, because they are not in a relationship..

You sound like you are feeling, a tad hurt that it's not a hug and kiss in the morning, where he makes you feel special...

And, I can understand that, you are "good friends", but the point in being "benefits" is there are no emotions attached..

So you either have to quit your emotions, or realise them, one of the two.

Is he a player? If, not he is very confident now, 1) because she is your friend and 2) because that is very much an outright flirt....

I am sure you know all about safe sex, including what you can catch from guys whom are not exclusive with a partner as well, right!!!

CW

[euphoria]

I am sure you know all about safe sex, including what you can catch from guys whom are not exclusive with a partner as well, right!!!
CW

of course! and i know i'm the only one he's having sex with, and he has tried to kiss this girl before. so maybe he needs that constant closeness with someone and if i'm not there, and she is, he'll always go for her. but she even stopped him and questioned him about me and he got almost mad that she evn brought it up. idk, it just gets to me sometimes how he tried to kiss her like literally a few hours after i had left his house.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

And, had not kissed you either........

Sounds to me that he likes the "friends with benefits" thing and is trying it on with her as well, or else why get mad? Don't you think?

She ruined his "game plan"....

Sorry sweet, that's my opinion and thoughts...

Be careful, it's a tricky thing friends with benefits okay... you always get hurt because really there is a tad of emotions there, he was a good friend, and so, now you sleep with him, you will feel jealousy.

Lucky she is a good friend is all i am going to say.

CW

[rcoreyus]

We did agree to be friends with benefits but i meant that i'm the only one he's doing it with.

Should i say something to him or do i have no right since we're fwb?

I would assume that FWB means that you have sex when you both feel like it, but each are free to do whatever they want otherwise. That it is not an exclusive, romantic relationship - just a way for 2 people to have fun - like going skiing, or to watch a movie.

If that isn't what you want (and its certainly not what I would want), they you need a different sort of relationship.

I don't have any moral objections to FWB, and it guess it is OK for some people, but I worry that too many get into this relationship hoping it will turn into something else.

[Richard S]

I've been in FWB situations, and it never stopped me from kissing her with passion and tenderness, both in and out of the bedroom. So I don't get that.

The key to an FWB relationship is that he has to make you feel comfortable giving it up for him, even if the understanding is that there are no strings and no commitment. The truth is, there *are* strings and there *is* a commitment. But it's a delicate thing, it's an unspoken understanding that you honor the time you share together, that you honor each other, that you live in the moment together and cherish that for what it is, because when all is said and done life is just a series of moments we share with people we care about, and who (hopefully) care about us in return.

If you're not getting that sense of respect from him, break it off. Just say, "Look, I don't know what's going on between us, but whatever it is, I'm not comfortable with it." If he's got any backbone at all, he'll have something to say in response to that. This is how men reveal their character.

On the other hand, you could just try kissing him first and see where that leads... It's all about living in the moment, because that's all you ever have...

[Beautiful Disaster]

FWB's are fine, if you can handle that. But, for most women until they reach the maturity of being confident and totally comfortable with themselves.......they can't handle it. It often leads to "What is wrong with me that he doesn't want more from me than sex?" and will it hinder you from moving on to an actual relationship that you deserve?

Also, do you have a crush on this person and secretely hope that this will make him like you?

If you're giving him sex with no expectation of anything else, then that's what he'll give you.

So you have to ask yourself, what are your boundaries?

[JustAman]

Until I decided to settle down.. all I ever had were FWB's. I was always very open and honest with the women I was with so there could be no hard or strange feelings. As with any relationship.. even one that's not one...lol, openess and communication is the key. Tell him how you feel, and if he's really your friend, he'll sit and talk with you.

[euphoria]

It often leads to "What is wrong with me that he doesn't want more from me than sex?" and will it hinder you from moving on to an actual relationship that you deserve?

Also, do you have a crush on this person and secretely hope that this will make him like you?

that is exactly what i'm wondering. why AM i nothing more than a sex partner? when we're together he'll hold my hand and be cute, you know.

and i do have a crush on him & i'm pretty sure he knows it. my original thought was that it will lead to something more, and maybe then the feelings would be mutual but i'm having doubts of him liking me at all.



as bad as this sounds, i do want to have sex & i know i can get it from him. does this mean i'm using him in return? or does it not, since i actually have feelings for him?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

as bad as this sounds, i do want to have sex & i know i can get it from him. does this mean i'm using him in return? or does it not, since i actually have feelings for him?

Is it the "sex" you want from him? Or being "intimate" with him where you are together sexually because you have feelings for him...........

CW