starting again

[geogeo]

I spoke to my ex on the phone and he told me that he felt he could not tell me about the money and that i was impossible to reason with. I think at times I was but I now think that I am to blame for all the pain. I question if i will ever keep a relationship together. It really scares me it really does. I cried so hard on the phone and felt awful about everything. I told him i loved him and he told me it was easier to cope when he thought I hated him. He said do you want a hug I can come round ....I said no how will that help me when I love you so much? I wanted to see him I really did but could not do it to myself to see him walk away after. He told me he did not miss the arguments and then i felt I had driven him away. I know that is the last time I will talk to him and it really hurts. He agreed to pay half the honeymoon back and i said I would give him the things back he wanted. I cried at how cold his e-mail was and why did he feel the need to kick me whilst I was down the day before I was due to go back to work. I was on my knees yesterday and the house is so quiet and lonely without him. The man I went out on a date with was okay I thought. I saw him again for company ...nothing other than company and he slept over and he just held me. The next day he borrowed my laptop to log onto his e-mails and forgot to switch off his password. when he left I logged on and all his e-mails came up and he was e-mailing different women inbetween meeting me...Some only 18! I was really annoyed to think he could have been a good person. I know i am wearing my heart on my sleeve at the moment but am so lonely. Im trying to fil the gap in my life but know i cant do that.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think what you have to understand is that, a person will pass the "blame" onto the other person in order to feel better within themselves... If they accept the blame then they carry the burdon.

He could not or "would" not tell you about the money, he lied all the way through....

He will give you back half?

He asks if you want a hug? Yet, he is bent on blaming you for the reason for the break up doesn't miss the arguements, those arguements were based on his actions, and his lies.

You really need to see that you are being manipulated here, in that regard, you really do...

He did wrong and you as women do had "intuition" and so you questioned and so it all got too hard, he was caught out in a lie big time, over and over and the easiest way out is to say "it's your fault"...

Please re-read this over and over....

As for the "man" that held you ... Well that is all he was there for, you are not wanting anything else, you are not needing anything else, what you ask for you will get... So, yep, he is also dating a string of women, and careful, those guys go for the vulnerable, that need a hug and next time, they need a kiss and you know what happens from there..... and then they walk.

Do NOT blame yourself for this break up , be grateful that you didn't marry a pathalogical lier that would have sent you both broke and into bankrupcy as he will later down the track to someone else not as wise, not as smart whom, doesn't see and you will know then that you were right and be grateful..

You are only viewing the fact that "finally" you were engaged and yet it failed.

It didn't fail, you saw things that you addresssed and as a result, it came crumbling down be grateful and tell your family that you are grateful as then when you had had children, they would have been homeless...

CW