Who writes this junk & why?

[JWB_pof]

because of my job, i read alot of stuff online. there are alot of guys online for work as well as women,(maybe equally, i'm not sure).

so today i saw on AOL main page about 12 kinds of guys who are just no good. it listed types of men who the writter put as the dirty dozen.
these so-called types are the corrector, the charmer, the nice guy, the pillar of the community, the controll freak, the abuser, the passive agressive, the self righteous progressive, the new age man, the narcissist, the predator, the addict.
then right after that little article was 13 lies all men tell.

and i also remember awhile ago there were articles on how us men are dogs, why we cheat, and the list goes on and on.
obviously, these articles are written by women. but why dog only the men.
you women arent always the perfect angels either. as time has shown, stories of broken marraiges, and more, you women are equally to blame for as much, have just as much trouble in your life, (sometimes create more trouble) cheat, lie, do drugs, use sex to get what you want/climb the corperate ladder, and this list can go on.

who allows this garbage to be put out there to judge the guys only?
so far what i seen on the main pages of the main browsers online, the guy is black-balled, bashed, criticised, and worse. i am guessing that more than 90% of the articles bash the guy. but if you read normal news, listen on the radio, or watch it on tv, the ratio of problems, d'vorces, hearing about cheaters, drugs, and so on, its almost equal. but still the gossip revolves around man.

i have seen on dating sites, heard from female friends, that so many women complain about drama, baggage, being treated bad, lied to, drugs, cheated on etc. but the funny thing is, all this being written like those article doesnt make anything better. right there is your drama, gossip, and more. so many people complain about a certain problem but yet they always fall right in the same loop as what they were in and who they were in it with.

perfect example is the woman who wants the bad boy. do you really think she can change him? or what about the women who complains about not being treated with respect and wants womeone who would treat them better, take care of them and such. well they over look the person who might be that guy they are looking for but goes with the one who wont give it to them. some people say looks do not matter, but i say they do.
everyone wants the perfect person, but how many actually find and keep that person. chances are very few.

i just get a kick out of how much the male gets trashed and gossiped about these days. as i said before, there are just as much women who do the same if not worse. and us guys do not have articles upon articles trashing women.
if women tired of drama, then stop it creating it yourselves.

[Little]

You fail to take into consideration the source from which you're finding these articles:
AOL.
It was a good ISP when I was 8 (when it was one of the few) but now their main purpose is to find people dumb enough about the internet to pay out the tail end for inferior speed and service. And dumb people love scapegoats. Ergo, their articles make scapegoats out of anyone they can get their hands on.
It's not appropriate to bash EITHER gender, especially not on this forum and I will not allow it. "You women, you women, you women." That's uncalled for.
Bad people do bad things: you got that right. However, letting the chip on your shoulder talk for you never leaves a good impression.

[WildChild]

Something to consider is that woman magazines are filled with articles on how to please men; sexually, emotionally, at the dinner table, in how the women dress or look, how they act - it goes on and on. Publications for men are not obsessed with what it takes for men to please or be pleasing to women.

In general ( there are always exceptions in both genders) woman are much more relationship oriented or focused than men. That may be training, it may be related to being verbal processors, it may be a genetic gender trait, probably some of each. We are still dealing worldwide with social and economic situations that are stacked in men's favor and women are often on the short end in ways most men may never consider or realize.

As Little pointed out you have to consider the source. Look at some of the junk on TV from the strange and ugly world of some talk shows, to so called reality shows designed to bring out the worst in people. It's loser programming and the kind of internet articles referred to are as well.

In any case a person who carries a chip on their shoulder tends to have more trouble, simply because they are looking for it. Ever notice how many red lights you hit in traffic? What happens when you start paying attention to how many green lights you get? It's about what you focus on. Personally I've been mistreated more ways than I can count by men and some of it was devistating emotionally and physically. I've talked about some of it here but not all by far. I don't lump men all together and expect every man to carry the responsibilty and guilt for what a few have done. I've been cheated on and yes, it was devistating - but so was being beaten, raped, stalked, held at gun point....
Carrying it around will get you no where, fast. You have to learn the lesson about what to avoid, let go of the rest and move on.

[Lakerat]

JWB do you belive all that you read?....I bet you can find just as much about woman...tv ..news papers ..magazines ....all have cr?p........how many woman on here bash men...how many are suportive when weve been down.... offerd us suport..listend to us....or helped us with problems

We all have stories about how bad life has been to us...love lost.....hearts broken...its a part of life...it sucks ...but it is....we either pick ourselves up and move on.. lesson learned ..or wallow in self pity,feeling sorry for ourselves pushing all who do care away and not even seing it....till there gone.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

JWB,


It's "our fault" as Women that the men leave us, because and only because, a woman left you...


It is also a Woman's fault for leaving a man in your eyes, because a woman left you...

So we are in a no win situation here..


May I suggest that you don't read that rubbish therefore, or else you can't heal...

You are no diff than the women here searching and finding and trying to move on.

There are an abundance of "Why men hate women jokes" by men if you google...

It's time to heal and move on, let it go.

CW

[JWB_pof]

i bring up a topic and it becomes point fingers at me.
why not just delete the subject. or edit to your likeing.
point of the whole topic here was that men get dogged and this gossip junk, drama and/or whatever you want to call it is out of control. and how so many people claim they dont like it but yet always do the same and fall inot it.
and what happens, point your finger at me and say i am sore, and all because this girl or that one.
tell you what, i say it as it is, i dont pretend to be all gooshy just so that noone feels bad. at least i am honest and true.
anon was right. this just proved more.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sorry if I offended JWB, but it came across that you were "dogging women" as it was their fault that divorces happen or them men stray...

That's the "impression" I got... And obviously others.

So in viewing it differently as a topic of men get trashed only and women don't?

so today i saw on AOL main page about 12 kinds of guys who are just no good. it listed types of men who the writter put as the dirty dozen.

Google "Ten things men hate about women" and then see in addition the multitude of "hate" and anger of what a woman is... Or, I hatewomen.com, which is a Forum for men, who are fed up with femanism. Or, the quote from Germiane Greer, who once commented that "women" have very little idea of how much men hate them. Or the abundance of jokes about the only thing women are good for...It's equal trust me, I spent an hour looking at it.

So if a Woman, uses sex to climb the ladder why is that? Is it because she has no other way of ever getting there? Do Models and Actresses put out to get ahead? I bet you 9/10 of them have had too.. Certainly in the oldern days.. I remember vividaly that unless I "put out" there was going to be no radio voice over for me, nor a modelling career, at both careers, I failed, why? Because, I didn't put out... And, so Restaurants it was.

but why dog only the men.

If I read all the women online on this Forum, for-instance, who's husbands have left them, "for another woman" all they say is "I am angry" "How do I move on" , never have I heard, he was a pig, he never put the toilet seat down, he treated me like dirt, they say, I love him, why did he leave... So they don't put the men down. So that's interesting in itself.

But, if you look at Society now with men and History, we women were always "meat", sorry but that's a fact...

When a young man starts his life out sexually, it's not to find a mate, it's how many women can he score, ( not all but what majority? ) and then they settle...

you women arent always the perfect angels either. as time has shown, stories of broken marraiges, and more, you women are equally to blame for as much, have just as much trouble in your life, (sometimes create more trouble) cheat, lie, do drugs, use sex to get what you want/

But again, why do women "usually" cheat? It's the woman who goes for married men and doesn't give a bother at all, that you can call bad.. But, usually if a woman cheats it's because the guy has absolutely no understanding of a woman's emotions, needs, that she is an emotional creature that needs constant re-assurance, can't help that, that's our nature, it's the nature of the beast. And, she is usually ignored, treated like a house maid, instead of an equal.

But, if a man cheats, it's because he hasn't got enough sex, or the sex is not exciting, it's not because he needs love, because 9/10 times a woman will say she loved him, but she was bought up to cook, clean, and sex was for having babies. The definition of love often with men is how many times he gets sex...

If she constantly tries to kiss him, it's like yeah ok... After the honeymoon stage, women stay in love, men love their other half, but lead their own lives, whilst the women lead their lives usually through the man.

So in my opinion, it's equal as far as dishing out the dirt goes, "men hate women" dog them to a T, disrespect them, rape them, abuse them, control them, they have alot more power than women do and they know how to break a woman.

Does a woman know how to break a man, rape them, abuse them, hit them, not usually but off course women can manipulate, twist, and hurt...

So it's equal there too in my books.

CW

[acerousme]

WHOA now friends....

actually, NOBODY is at fault. Yes, we may not be perfect, but what is the point of pointing fingers at eachother? Was that how the west was won?
This is the beauty of having the freedom of speech? We all have faults. I know that I have used my beauty, and charm to help me pass math...and I regret it. NO, I did not sleep with the teacher, I just had a self proclaimed "nerd" wrapped around my baby finger. I also know that I have been taken advantage of, because of my obvious flaws (my size being the most obvious).

I DO agree, JWB...this dogging is out of control. But we all must remember that when you point one finger you have three pointing back at you...(how many stopped to point, and count?...I did..hehehe)

This happens to EVERY sex, and it isnt a monogendered debate. Sexism happens to EVERY race, in every language, and every sexual preference but... we cannot end it, as we all have been jilted by someone of the opposite sex.

So, dont point fingers. It is NOT anybodys fault. Sometimes it happens.
This does not prove ANYTHING, except the fact that we are all letting ONE persons opinion on AOL, and in magazines get to us. I KNOW, it is hard to ignore, because we are all different, and have different oppinions.

Honestly...let me say this...I have been hurt by someone...and venting is very healthy...and you all have heard my "sob story"...lol.

JWB...I am sorry you feel that way. I have not met you, but from the advice you have given me, you seem to be a down to earth male.
But, some of us women are nice, and are willing to climb the corporate ladder using something called "gray matter". I know I wish to do so.

[JWB_pof]

well this will be my last reply for awhile. and why, simply because this one fact.
my views,values and morals are mine. like i said several times, i will state my beleives, my thoughts, and i will soften my replies so noone isoffended.
i hate and despise liars. i voiced my opinions on those catagories. and in doing so my posts/replies gotten edited, or deleted as i was specifically told i intentionally was out of line. now go back and read what i wrote on those subjects............ when i wrote about one female who DID cheat, my post was edited, but on the same subject different thread, i told a guy he sickened me with being with a cheater and that post stayed. why? because as the moderator.

and now in this particular thread, i stated and as CW has quoted it for all to see:[qutoe}you women arent always the perfect angels either. as time has shown, stories of broken marraiges, and more, you women are equally to blame for as much, have just as much trouble in your life, (sometimes create more trouble) cheat, lie, do drugs, use sex to get what you want/[/quote]
i said equally.

my thread was about the men getting dogged. i see men getting dogged 98% of the time if not more. actually i never see women getting getting dogged without a search. making the headlines, or topic story is exactly what i am saying.
if i want to search any subject i am sure i can find it. i am sure there are lots of topics if you search for them.
point is the gossip itself.
and this turned into how you all think its because of my life............... get real. now who is contradicting who here. i didnt take things out of sorts, i didnt hurt anyone, i didnt point to a certain person looking for advice who knew they did wrong but wants assurance its ok because they are young.
like i said, i know i am honest and true. if you ask for an opinion, be ready for an answer, even if you dont like it. my replies are how i feel like all yours are your opinion and feeling. we dont have to agree or disagree but i dont have the power to edit yours because i didnt agree with what was said or how it was worded.
but i did learn that without "CERTAIN WORDING" it will get turned around, deleted, or edited.
who gives anyone the right to say i have a chip on my shoulder, or someoen left me. get it right, get the topic right.. like CW said I SAID EQUAL and i didnt search for it it was headlined.

[WildChild]

Obviously you've hit some nerves and had some of yours hit. I don't like gender bashing regardless of who is doing it. I think there are different things going on with this, one is that they headline what they think will be read and women have a tendency to internaltize relationship problems and blame themselves, while men are more likely to look first outside themselves. Therefore we see publications aimed at women focusing on the women's concerns, one of the biggies, if not the biggest, is relationships with men. Historically we have been marginalized, our feelings and needs demeaned and our sexuality vilified. We are still finding our way out that place. Certainly men are dealing with and just as confused by the ways relationships are changing but they have had the upper hand for a long time. Women talk their way through their exploration. Hence the greater likelihood of articles for women headlined.

Misogyny is embeded in our language and culture in ways most people male and female are unaware of. Virtually everyone knows that misogyny is a hatred of women. How many even know the word for hatred of men? Misandry, which is considered comparable to misanthropy - hatred of people. Interesting that hatred of women is hatred of women but hatred of men is equivalent to hating people. I'm not going into a big long thing on all the ways women are still belittled and vilified in culture and religion but if anyone has reason to be POd - women have it. It's not a pleasant place to be, is it?

Neither should be vilified as a group. Part of the change we are going through as a society and individuals is learning how we can treat each other more fairly and appropriately. Coming from what has been the priviliged gender, men have to expect that there is clearing of the air and exploring of feelings and hurts that many women need to go through before they can find a more balanced place to deal with men from.