Depression? Anxiety? How to be happy

[misslady66]

I have had a rough year adjusting to my new college life. I feel a constant struggle to be happy. I've tried so hard to change my outlook, change my diet, and excercise to regulate a healthy mind but its at a point where its really not working anymore. I feel like this year, being hard, I've grown over sensitive to my environment. I hate this city life, my surroundings and I'm tired of lying to myself to try to stay positive. I don't know what to do. I've tried meditating or writing when i freak out like this but I feel so lost so often that I need something else to help me. I just wonder why I can't be normal and I'm constantly thinking about where else I could be.

How can I pull myself out of this? Is it only medication that it has to come to?

How can I stop myself from falling down a hole to deep depression or a constant frown?

How can I be happy?

What steps do I need to take?

I'm lost. I feel like this frequently. I could use some advice.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Are you alone, do you feel alone?

It's a big change College, the un-known, hard to make friends, leaving sometimes old ones, family, no man in your life, down and out...

You need to not worry so much about diets and excersise and look for things that make you happy and add them into your life, then balance yourself afterwards.

If it's friends, you need to join places where you can makes some, hobbies, that make you smile on succeeding, completing, old friends, start emailing hello again, put that lipstick on and go window shopping and see what you can save up for and put it on layby, see people smile at you when you walk past and smile back, you need to see you.

CW

[Joy]

a healthy diet is good for a healthy mind as well as exercise. If you really don't like the city you are living in can you transfer schools? Is there another school that offers the courses you are enrolled in.

In life when we feel uncertain we can feel fearful... until we grow into the situation.... maybe you are just going thru a really big growth spurt in life and need to adjust a bit .

CW is right join some clubs meet some people with common interests it could make a world of difference to meet new people that are probably going thru the same thing you are too.

[jss2000]

MissLady,
Along with what others have said, you really do have some options here.
A couple of them:
--Try acting as if you like your college town. What kinds of things would you do? Where would you go? Who would you meet?
If you find it so hard to counter the thought ("change my outlook" as you've said), give a little old-fashioned behavior change a try.
Do it for a week. Before you go out to do something fun, try and predict whether it will be a drag or not. Then go out and act like you really like the place! Check back with yourself and see if your predictions were on, off, or somewhere in between.

--If you're having trouble shaking the idea that your world stinks, instead of trying to counter that idea, ask yourself what the effect of this thought (I can't live in this town) is on you. Does it make you want to have fun? Or does the very idea (I can't live in this town) drag you down?
Then try asking yourself, what would the effect of thinking differently? Would thinking "I can thrive here" actually make me less of a drag? How would that new idea make me feel about getting up everyday?
It's positive thinking, yes, but it can do just the trick when you can't reason your way out of a negative outlook. Give it a try. (best wishes!)

[Chesnut13]

I felt exactlly this way when I lived in Los ANgeles. Some people might call me crazy but I really hated it there, and I found myself being very depressed and feeling really lost all the time and helpless. Its not a good feeling.

I know this is not what a lot of people would suggest, and I myself study full time in school for Physics, and when I moved to Seattle, my life felt complete. Its an academically hard field to get into and it stresses me out to no end, but honestly, physics is what gave me solace and moving to a new location that I loved and immidiently fell in place with.
I live my life by never feeling obligated to where I live now, and for some reason this has helped ME personally alot. Im not saying you should get up and leave, but you might consider giving yourself a break and taking a short weekend vacation and checking out new places, and if your not in the place where you can move or leave right now, at least give yourself a break and go for a short trip to give yourself a chance to see something else.
Like I said, I dont know if this helps much, but sometimes spontineity is a great thing. Just getting out there and letting the road take you wherever. When I feel like that in Seattle (which happens from time to time), I just ride my bike all day, get some excersize by myself, wonder around the city and I feel refreshed when I get home.

If your problem is lingering no matter what you do, I agree with what the user above said about getting yourself out there and finding LOTS of hobbies. Join clubs, meet loads of fun people with good hearts and try and keep the drag of living there and school a little less stressfull.

PS-My spelling is awfull! Sorry guys

[MaryAnne]

misslady66: I think what you're going through is a normal phase. Its a big step adjusting to the college life. I think over time you'll settle in and not be down so much. Meanwhile, try to take up a new hobby that you can dive into. Preferably something you really, really enjoy.
Also, keep a little 'gratitude journal' that you take 5 minutes each morning to write in. Write down all of the things you have to be grateful and thankful for. This will be a daily reminder that 'you know, things really aren't that bad after all". Hope this helps dear.