Depression out of Nowhere?!

[Debra]

It seems as though a lot more people go through depression than I orignally thought. My quandrum is that I know I'm depressed, but wonder whether I should further talk to my doctor or not.

I broke down and cried at my last annual check-up. I didn't know what was wrong with me and couldn't get a hold of myself. I further discussed how some days I feel energetic and other days I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. How I struggle day to day to keep up with my kids and do the daily work that I'm supposed to do. He suggested that I come back after thinking of whether I want the option of meds or not and make an appointment. I made the appointment and cancelled the appointment the day of because I was having what I considered a 'good day.'

I recently found out that my family has a history of depression:mom, aunts, both my granny and gramps, and even had a cousin commit suicide. I also had depression as a child, which resulted in 3 attempts of suicide.

Around high school, I started feeling 'normal' and didn't have anymore depression...well, until around the time of my last annual.

My problem is that I'm scared that if I get diagnosed with depression, then it may be harder to find a job on down the road because future employers could inquire about my mental health. Is that true???? And if it is, are there any home remedies that could help?

I know I need some help...this isn't just 'in my head.' I've tried to 'be happy', get more sunshine, keep myself surrounded by friends and family. Nothing seems to work. The only thing keeping me here are my kids.

Please tell me that there is someone else out there who has depression brought on out of the blue. If you've had help, tell me all about it.

[KaytKayt]

I know that the thought of being on medication is frightening but it can honestly help if your doctor prescribes the right kind. I myself know what it's like to battle with depression, though I've never sought out professional help for it. My mother has also suffered from it and did chose to take meds for it which helped her a lot.

The thing to keep in mind though is that being depressed is in no way your fault, it's a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes it which sometimes doesn't go away on it's own.

I also don't think you need to worry about your future employers asking about that. It's normally things like physical disabilities that they worry about (to make sure you are suited to the job but so they can accommodate you)

Try and keep your chin up. And good luck pulling threw the blue. If you ever want to vent about it or talk about it I'd be more than happy to lend an ear or a shoulder

[mewhenim]

Patient privacy prevents your employers from being able to obtain your medical history. I take my antidepressants on and off, I stop taking them every now and then to make sure I still need them. I've been off them for several months now and am doing quiet well. Nothing wrong with taking meds. If it's gotten bad enough you feel you need help then a good day isn't enough of a reason to cancel. Medicinal help is a good thing, but seeing a shrink can do some good too. I finally sought the help of a shrink and this is the first time I've been really ok in a long ok.

[Debra]

Thank you all so much for replying. It's reassuring to know that other people go through what I'm going through. The responses helped me out a lot.

I'm still uneasy about taking meds, but it's like you stated, it's not in my control. I found myself being depressed on a perfectly sunny day, kids were getting along, and hubby was around to help out. I tried to get in a happier mood, but nothing helped. It's a definate that I will talk to my doctor about this. I can't keep doing this day to day.

I've always liked the idea of going to a psychiatrist, but I don't think that will be possible. I'm a stay at home mom and I WILL NOT tell my parent in laws that I need to drop the kids off at their house so I can go to therapy. I'm sure you all understand why.

I appreciate all your input. I'm taking it one step at time and I'm excersizing and making myself eat food. Losing weight is on my agenda list, but not acheiving weight loss this way. I'd like to live without going through the motions...sometimes I feel like I'm just being a 'whiny baby' about it all. I've got a great life and really have no room to complain. Thank you so much for being understanding.

[kms]

Depression is such a complicated thing. All too often depression is a symptom, not the cause, and it can take quite a bit of time, energy, and investigation to dig up the root cause (or causeS, which definitely further complicates things).

For you it could simply be genetics. Or it could be related to your environment, in which case it could possibly be systemic as you mentioned that other family members have had it (i.e learned maladaptive behavior(s) passed down from generation to generation). Something to note is that people tend to be attracted to others with a similar mental state of mind, so depressed people attract and end up marrying other depressed people, etc. So that's another way to keep it in the family. It could have to do with events that have occurred in your life that you haven't processed fully, have repressed them, not dealt with them, etc. It could also be your lifestyle habits, not sleeping enough, not eating well enough, not exercising enough.... It could be symptomatic of some other illness or disease that is known or unknown to you... it could be a side effect of a medication that you're taking... it's just really endless in terms of the possible causes of feeling down and depressed. It just takes a lot of time and energy to explore it, but it's definitely worth trying to figure out, because life is a precious gift and we should take advantage of each day that we've been blessed with.

[Debra]

Yes, I agree that there are A LOT of possible causes for depression. I sat down and really thought about what you typed, kms, and thought about which could apply to me.

As far as family history goes....I was not aware of any depression running through the family until I called my mom one day and asked her directly if we had a family history. She then told me about it, which angered me because she knew I was depressed before from several conversations we had prior and told me that if I thought happy thoughts then I would be happy. That and my doctor asked me if depression ran through my family and I had initially told him 'No.' My childhood was a happy one, minus the depression spells I had.

I'm not currently on any medication and the last kind of medication I was on was percocets for back labor I had had with my 2nd child.

Excersize and eating could have something to do with it. I tend to over eat, then not eat enough...and the same cycle goes with excersizing. Sleep habits go up and down as well.

I'll investigate this even more with my doctor.

[kms]

Good, I'm glad you were able to start thinking it over and coming up with possible causes to feeling down and depressed. That must have been frustrating that your mom withheld the information that depression runs in the family - maybe she wasn't comfortable talking about it, or maybe she was hoping it was somehow different for you.

Food and sleep are so very important... gosh. If I don't get enough sleep I feel sooo depressed and have no energy whatsoever. Likewise, if I don't get something in the morning I just feel mentally weak and 'dead'. Even speaking is tortured and difficult if I'm tired and haven't had anything to eat all day (which happens to me all the time). However, after I exercise when I get home, I always feel a million times better. It's funny how the seemingly smallest, most basic things in life can have such a huge impact.

So yes, definitely monitoring food, sleep, and exercise habits may help a great deal. It may not fix everything, but at least it will get you back on a functional level again!