Do move or not to move...

[caterpillar79]

My significant other is moving 5 hours away from my area due to change in job location. I am motivated to move to any area closer to where he is...he is encouraging me to do it, too. He is suggesting that I try to apply for a job and live with his family. (We're not engaged yet...)

I am new to the US and he knows that I am pretty much on my own when he's away...is he just so worried about me that he wants me to be with his family...or does that mean he has plans for us ... in a "happily ever after" ending...

(I wish he won't find my posts!)....

Insights, please!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

lol... The questions of a girls mind, over, and over, and over, and over,

Well, it is evident he wants you near him, or else he wouldn't be suggesting that you move closer to him.

It is evident that he has strong feelings for you, or else he wouldn't be suggesting to his family that you move in with them.

As for "happily ever after", well that will be evident, lol, when you live together longer or have been together longer as to where you both shall go in the relationship.

If you worry about the future too much you can't enjoy the present.

CW

[caterpillar79]

I am enjoying the present...but, I am apprehensive (as in) RIGHT NOW! I am alone tonight; I decided to stay at his place and feel his "presence" while he's away, trying to prepare for the big move next week. I feel like crying this very moment. I miss him already.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Then you need to work a little on you, being able to stand on your own two feet, and fend for yourself, relying on someone and having to "feel" them around when they are not there, means you live in their world, their life, not yours...

Don't get depressed, be happy as you know he loves you and missing someone is part of life but also makes you love them more, because let's face it if you miss them then you love them and if you love them, then it's "all good", is it not?

CW

[caterpillar79]

Very true! Well said, CW! Just as I finished posting last night, much to my delight, ha called to say he missed me and loves me. He was so tired and ready to crash, just called to see I am OK. He's very sweet.

I have to learn to be self-reliant. The wounded child in me who constantly craves attention, love and care is still being healed. I am so excited to see my grown woman inside...when I told him this two months ago, he was thrilled, too.

Distance is a factor that helps the relationship become stronger for as long as both parties are doing their part. I can tell we really missed each other when we talked last night.

[WildChild]

Why are you where you are? Job? School?
How did you meet him? Did you know him before you came to the US?
How are you supporting youself right now?
My concern would be that if you move and you are living with his family when you do, what happens if the two of you break up? That could put you in a very difficult situation. I can understand wanting to be closer, 5 hours is quite a drive, just be certain that a move would not only make it easier to see him but wouldn't interfer with what you are supposed to be doing.

[caterpillar79]

How did you meet him? Did you know him before you came to the US?How are you supporting youself right now?
My concern would be that if you move and you are living with his family when you do, what happens if the two of you break up?

I am currently teaching and I could move to another (out-of-state) school district. I met him online (dating site), and just happened after a year of being here in the US.

He knows that I am on my own once he moves out next week, and I think he worries about me so much. Knowing my history, he knows how scared I can be if I see a man looking at me. I am working on it through counseling though.

I believe I would have to wait and see what happens. I don't want to rush into things, and I am pretty much stable to where I am right now. If ever I move, it might not be like living with his family, but could be closer to them/him, trimming down the original 5-hr drive into 2-3hr drive is an option.

[ThexMrs]

Move... That's all I can say. I wish my boyfriend would ask me to move. Love is a risk and it's worth taking. Just do it!

[caterpillar79]

I just thought of giving you guys an update!

He's moved last Monday, I helped and met his Uncle, his Dad was also there. I enjoy every bit of the adventure. He drove us back to my place (about 5 hours drive) and he stayed with me for the rest of the week. While in the city (his new place), he showed me around and I was touched when he brought me to a garden (a park-sort of), and the flowers are with their beautiful blossoms. I stopped by most of them and sniffed, savored the atmosphere and before I realized, he was taking my photos. We also took a photo together. It was more than giving me a bunch of cut-flowers. For me, that was one of the happiest moment of my life.

Today is his first day at work and guess what... I am here in his hotel room. I am so glad I am off work enjoying a 3-day weekend with him!

[caterpillar79]

BTW, I am trying my luck with nearby school districts and I am very excited to move closer to him.