How to go about getting someone help - need advice.

[sourpuss]

My brother and I are at the point where we feel we need to confront our father about getting help for his mental state. What's the best way to go about this?

He needs a psychiatrist and a therapist. He has loads of childhood issues, he's OCD, a control freak, never been wrong in his life, hasn't worked in 15 years, can't relate to anyone and doesn't really live in reality. He has a terrible temper and doesn't think that there is anything wrong with him.

So far we're thinking the best way to approach it is to come to him concerned about his depression and the fact that he's getting worse and worse every time we see him. We want to minimize his defensiveness which will be near impossible.

I was going to research doctors in his city and just schedule an appointment and let him know that he can show up to the appt if he agrees that he needs help. I don't even know how to go about finding the right doctor.

Has anyone else ever basically forced someone to seek help?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

That's tough for you two.

I suspect that if they are childhood issues, and he's your father, he's lived with all of this for so long that even a recommendation of any change will be thrown in the bin.

What about a brother, sister? Someone he is close to that is of his generation, someone that he trusts, that can camly tell it how it is to him, how he has been?

Is he living on his own? And, has for quite some time? Has he always had OCD or only since not working etc, like a sense of work, keeping things perfect...

CW

[Joy]

Oh Sourpuss this is a tough one.... I didn't really force but i sought out help for a relative. They were grieving and knew they couldn't go thru the process alone.

It sounds like you are going to have a big battle on your hands. I think if you talk to your dad with concern and not his bad behavior he might seek help to get thru his depression.

[WildChild]

Had do it with a suicidal ex. Not easy. To this day more than 11 years later he denighs that he had a problem. Just be loving and firm. Good luck with this.

[ThexMrs]

Just keep in mind that you can't force anyone to do something that they don't want to do. Don't set yourself up for a let down. Sometimes you just have to love them through it.