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Thread: Mother in law wears fiance's old engagement ring

  1. #1
    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) FEBRUARY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH stressed is on a distinguished road stressed's Avatar
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    Default Mother in law wears fiance's old engagement ring

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    My mother in law to-be wears 3 engagement rings on her right hand. One is of her daughter's engagement ring (with the man she's married now), one is her daughter's engagement ring from another man (they broke up the engagement) and one is my fiance's old engagement ring (he has also broken up an engagement). I assume that this engagement ring has the name of his ex engraved on the inside, but I don't want to check this. This ex is also related to his family in some manner so it's not like she's ever going to be out of the picture, even though my fiance and I never meet her or talk to her.

    The thing is that it feels strange to me that my mother in law will always wear a ring with his ex's name on it all the time. I told my fiance about it and he said that she probably just wears it for the good times of the engagement of her son. I don't see why anyone would do that, unless it is a custom in some countries. Where I come from we tend to toss the ring of a broken engagement or just get rid of it as soon as possible. We live in northern Europe.

    Maybe I'm just too sensitive about it, but I can't help but notice it every time I meet her. We like each other a lot and we've never had any problems. Even on the day we got engaged she compared his old ring to the current one, saying that what we have now is so much better than what he had bought that time etc.

    Has anybody seen this before?

  2. #2
    Joy
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    some people can't get out of the past and they carry baggage around their entire life. Sounds the case this woman doesn't let anything go. Its really her problem if she cares her joy and her sorrow around like this. One day it may become to heavy.

    It was crude for her to compare rings and tactless i'm sure it was harmless

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    WH Head Moderator WildChild will become famous soon enough WildChild's Avatar
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    A bit odd but just ignore it. What I really don't get is why isn't the married daughter wearing her own engagement ring? Here in the US the engagement and wedding band are considered a set and often made to be worn together.

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    Veteran Member (800+ posts & member 1 year+) FEBRUARY 2011 POSTER OF THE MONTH stressed is on a distinguished road stressed's Avatar
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    Thanks for your answers, it helps to see that I'm not all wrong about it I told my mother about it today and she also found it odd so I thought I'd ask you guys too, but we should just ignore it.

    Well, I'm not sure about the daughter, she wears two wedding bands as it's the custom here (Sweden) (the engagement rings are just plain wedding bands too), yet, the mother in law says that she also wears her daughter's engagement ring. I haven't asked for details but it's also odd because she can't have two engagement rings, can she? Unless her husband proposed twice/they broke up for some time? I might find out one day...I know they were on and off before they got married though.

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    WH Super Moderator caterpillar79 is on a distinguished road caterpillar79's Avatar
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    Don't let this ring issue hinder you of your happiness. It is immaterial to focus on this whereas you are sure deep in your heart that your fiancee loves you so much. You're marrying the son, not the mother. You will live with him not with her. Just get along with her - that's all you have to do.
    What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are but how you deal with incompatibility. - Leo Tolstoy

    The clearest explanation for failure of any marriage is that two people are incompatible; that is, one is male and the other female. - Anna Quindlen

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    Junior Member Rose in the thorns is on a distinguished road Rose in the thorns's Avatar
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    This sounds a bit strange but it may just be there for intimidation. As long as you and your partner are happy and strong it wont come between you.Maybe chat to your mother in law and tell her how you feel.If that doesnt work just try to ignore it, allt hat coutns is you and him not some ring from the past.hopes this helps.
    Nothing is Trivial

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts HALFNOTHING is on a distinguished road HALFNOTHING's Avatar
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    Maybe she just wants collections. a souvenir. lol.. there's no big deal..

    i agree with caterpillar.. you're marrying his son not the mother.. if you are bothered to her act. after marriage, don't live with her.. you cannot tell her directly her strange action for she might have a bad impression to you.. as much as possible, don't tell her.. if somebody have the right to tell her? its his son should.. your fiance is the right person to question her act.
    Can't help it but to love

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