suffering from a nervous breakdown

[Joy]

You are strong isabella ya just have to tap into it more. People you are right can say it to you till they are blue in the face............ you have to believe it about yourself.

I wish you loads of healing and I hope you blossom and find your beat in life totally

[Isabellacat]

Wow, I missed this thread. Isabells you've had a tough row to hoe. You are stronger than you know. A lot of people facing things like this don't make it - as you know. We are here in life to learn and grow and develop. Sometimes it seems too hard or painful, unfortunately no matter how bad you have it there is always someone who has it worse.

Cw is right you have things you enjoy and love. You have and have had freinds, even if some of them are gone, they are still a part of you. Do you get out much? It might be a good idea to do something, some volunteer work maybe? It sounds like you relate well to older people, is there a senior center in the area you could give a hand at a few times a week?

Hi!! Unfortunately lately I have'nt been going out much. I was diagnosed with agoraphobia several years ago which is one reason why I'm on disabilty. I also have severe PTSD and depression from being in situations of trying to save my friend and the abuse.... I'm trying to overcome those things but don't know what to do at the moment. It's really hitting me hard lately.....I used to be alot more outgoing.Volunteering sounds good but I don't think I'm in the right state of mind to commit to work like that now. Sounds really hard to do at the moment.

I may have mentioned this or not,but one of the reasons why I have'nt been social lately is because of several falling outs with certain people over the recent months. One I already mentioned was my friend who I had an argument with and moved to NY...the other is a man I tried dating and had a terrible break-up with last December. I've been so depressed about that too and noticed since December I have'nt been going out as much as I used to.
Adding all these things up I start to believe I'm seriously messed up and must look like and nobody wants me....I hear stories about other girls having boyfriends and having a good time....just makes me even more depressed. I have'nt had sex in over 2 years...... I've lost alot of interest in it anyways. Some people must read this thread and think I'm a total dork but I don't care...Just expressing myself....I don't want to sugarcoat everything and pretend nothing's happening.

[Isabellacat]

You are strong isabella ya just have to tap into it more. People you are right can say it to you till they are blue in the face............ you have to believe it about yourself.

I wish you loads of healing and I hope you blossom and find your beat in life totally

Just replying to your post Joy as I did'nt notice...thanks *blush* yes I thought about that word alot...Healing.... I wish I can heal soon but don;t know how yet.

[Joy]

Healing is a journey all on its own.... It can take many years but its taking the first steps towards acceptance, self love, tolerance for self, positive mental chatter Then you will one day notice a shift in your life that the things that use to really bring ya down or throw you off track dont have the power or influence over you they once did.

you are very honest in your posts and you should be lying to yourself only prolongs the healing process.

You already see blessings in your life and that is a great attitude to have.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Why not write down all the positive things about yourself.

When we think negative thoughts naturally life sucks, when we think positive naturally life looks up.

Same as whom we associate with. If we hang around negative people they will bring us down, if we hang around positive people, they will bring us up, in belief.

For instance:-

Your an artist - and good at it.
Your an animal lover - and would save an animal if that arose.
Your loyal - you make a good friend.
Your honest - that's a quality people love
You have long, gorgeous hair - shows you care about yourself
Your thin and petite, have a nice figure - shows you look after yourself
You have a sense of humor - you can make people laugh


Don't come back and say but, but, instead add to this list

Keep going

[Isabellacat]

Ohh thanks *blush* Thank you ladies for making me feeling alot better...... I'm making some steps to try to stop my self abuse also.I'm really hard on myself alot. Especially days when I'm not feeling well. Reading these posts makes me realize I should take it one day at a time for healing. I can already feel the improvement a bit.

[caterpillar79]

I am very proud of you, Isabellacat! You are precious to us... you are loved.....

XoXo *hugs*

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I and I know other's suffer a debilitating decease, called fybromyalgia, myophasical pain, it controls my life, "if i let it"...

It means sometimes you don't see Chandlers Wish on every post, haha, cause I can't type, it's too painful to do so.

Point being, it will only "get me down" if i let it.... If "I chose" that it won't, then I post where I feel I need to and I don't where I think that people get the help they need.

We all have some pain to get over in life beautiful.

Keep strong, it's what makes you special, it's what makes people special...

Never, ever, give up.

There is no word "can't" I believe they made a mistake when they wrote that one, YOU CAN...

It's just a matter of working out "how"...

"smile".

CW

[Isabellacat]

Thanks CW....I never thought of it that way...should'nt let certain afflictions get me down.

I don't want this to be my official vent thread but I hope that's alright. I must say I do feel a bit better compared to when I started the thread.

I guess one of my current angst is that I think I look old. I bought alcohol at the store the other day and I did'nt get carded...I start to think I must be looking old So I decided in order to feel better I'm giving myself a complete makeover and cutting down on some fatty foods. I'm gonna go to the salon and get a trim and have a new hair colour...get rid of some of my old clothes and go on a shopping spree this week too. I'm also thinking of getting some Retinol wrinkle cream cos I hate the bags underneath my eyes.

I figured I should do something positive for myself,instead of being depressed.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'm gonna go to the salon and get a trim and have a new hair colour...get rid of some of my old clothes and go on a shopping spree this week too. I'm also thinking of getting some Retinol wrinkle cream cos I hate the bags underneath my eyes.

I figured I should do something positive for myself,instead of being depressed.

Ahh, don't blame you - you can vent anywhere, (lol)...

I wrote a thread once about changing your hair colour, or buying a new top etc, just so you know, I am blonde really, haha.. seriously.

Go for it.