pulling out....

[nubianqueen]

question: first of all, forgive me if this sounds too graphic, but i gotta know. my boyfriend and i have been together for a few years now and we have sex frequently enough. throughout most of our relationship (monogamous, too) we either used condoms or the "pull out" method during sex, while i was on the pill too. lately i decided i wanted to try having sex without him pulling out (yes im still on the pill), but have gotten a little nervous about the possibility of getting pregnant. i have tried to talk to him about going back to our old ways of pulling out, but now he doesnt want to. he says he likes "keeping it in". i told him that im not quite comfortable with that, but he says that now he is used to not having to pull out, he doesnt want to have to revert back to our old ways. I dont know what else to say to him that will hopefully change his mind. any suggestions?? he can be so stubborn sometimes. he says that as long as i take the pill everyday, i should be fine and have nothing to worry about.

[shweedart]

Well, if it were me and he didn't acknowledge the i'd changed my mind...he'd be in biiiig trouble! The pill isn't 100% effective, even though it is a form of protection theres a chance you can still get pregnant. A woman I babysit for has 4 kids, each of them concieved while on the pill!
Fair enough he's used to not pulling out now but it's time to get used to pulling out again!


I'd tell him to pull his head out of his bum-hole and that its tough!
Why should you go through having sex and worrying the whole time about how its going to end?

[shweedart]

Well, if it were me and he didn't acknowledge *THAT i'd changed my mind...

wrong word there, sorry about that

[Iseulda]

Actually the pill is an extremely effective method of contraception and, if you are taking it correctly, the chances of you getting pregnant when he ejaculates inside you with no other form of protection are minimal, about as near to zero as you get with any form of contraception.

Yes, people, like the above poster, can tell you anecdotes about women getting pregnant while on the pill - but the medical evidence strongly suggests that in those cases the woman either failed to take her pill correctly or was prescribed an ineffective hormone dosage for her own particular needs.

You have no reason to be uncomfortable - but that doesn't mean you are wrong and he is right. If you are uncomfortable then obviously he needs to take that into consideration and change his behaviour while you work on being comfortable with him ejaculating inside you. He needs to understand that your feelings are important and you just handling it and him getting what he wants is not an option. You need to compromise.

Here's a suggestion - the pill allows most women to have a pseudo-period every 28 days. How about you tell your bf he can ejaculate inside you for the week from the date that period starts but at all other times of month you require him to pull out. You may find you start to feel more comfortable with him ejaculating inside you and then maybe you can extend that time frame from the week after to the week before you're due as well.

Whether you try that or something else the key here is compromise. You need to show him you are making an effort to meet his needs and he needs to show you he is making an effort to meet yours.

And just to restate - the chances of you getting pregnant relying on the pill alone are very, very small if you take all your pills as prescribed and directed.

[Swiftus]

Pull and Prey (The withdrawl method) is very risky. Plenty of sperm are released in precum.

With you on the pill, there is far less for you to worry about. I had a GF that was the same way. I think I came inside her a total of 4 times over 2.5 years. Stacking BC methods may help but it is like wearing water wings with your life jacket.

Sorry to say but as a guy, it KILLS my orgasm to pull out. It is like you ladies finally hitting the big O and then stop all physical contact. It is a waste.

Most women I know who got prego on the pill fall under one of the following 2 categories:
1. Not religious about taking the pill the same time every day.
2. On antibiotics or other drugs that interfere with the pill.

[Iseulda]

Pull and Prey (The withdrawl method) is very risky. Plenty of sperm are released in precum.

*giggles*

I think you mean 'pray' - unless you like to go hunting after unprotected sex

Also - good point about other medication interfering with the effectiveness of the pill.

Ladies - if you are on the pill please remember to ask about any other medication you are given for other ailments - some doctors will assume you have been informed about possible effects when you may not have been, so always, always ask. Only takes a minute.

[AvenaSativa]

IF you're ok with 'POSSIBILY' getting accidently pregnant... then let him continue to 'keep it in'.

IF NOT...then don't allow it.

It's basically that simple.

[OhThereYouAre]

That is just plain irresponsibility on his part.

Ask him his thoughts on rearing a child.

He might change his tune then.

[Iseulda]

Guys, guys - she's on the pill.

It's not like pulling out is the only thing between her ovaries and the swimmers. Be fair on the guy.

I had the pill as my only form of contraception for years, on and off, and never even had a scare when I was on it.

[golden_nemesis]

As Isuelda said, if taken correctly, combination birth control pills are more than 99% effective. Used alone and perfectly, the withdrawal method is only 96% effective, but because few men have the self-control to really use the withdrawal method perfectly, about 30% of couples who use withdrawal only will experience a pregnancy.

Birth control pills, except for progestin-only types, already provide two levels of protection. The estrogen component prevents ovulation, and the progestin portion thickens your mucus to prevent implantation into the uterine walls if for some reason ovulation does occur. So really, you are using two forms of birth control already!

If you do not trust yourself to take the pills correctly, at the SAME time, EVERY day, then there may be some validity in pulling out or condom use, but if you are diligent about your oral BC pills, there really should be nothing to worry about.