Girlfriends severe PMS damaging the relationship

[jimneedshelp]

Hello,

I have been with my girlfriend for more than a year, and even towards the begining of the relationship I noticed around the time of her period she showed signs of serious pms. every time she is in period she shows the signs of what ive read on the internet from other people with the same experiences. but she seems more severe. She is extremely emotional, easily upset. she has no build up to her anger, she can go instantly to searing rage from what seemed like calm in a few seconds. her breasts are sore, stuff like that, i dont know how many of the other sypmtoms she has because she doesnt admit them to me or doesnt have them. it starts around 5-8 days before her period, and lasts until the blood stops it seems. at which point she goes back to normal. during the time she is in period i need to be extremly carefull not to upset her in any way. when she is in her period she often abuses me physically and verbally. often beating me and crying for periods then seemingly ok then maybe an hour later be back to crying and hitting me. caused by "somthing i did to make her mad".

The main problem is she refuses to admit that her period affects her at all. but to anybody who spends any amount of time with her it would be clear as night and day. except her friends never will know because she always hides it and acts friendly and laughs with them even if she is in PMS. so all the anger is directed towards me and me only. I hope I could get her to go to a doctor but i cant get her to admit she has the problem. She often says to break up with me when in period, and i have told her shes not allowed to break up with me until her period is over. by which point she always forgets about it. I dont know what I should do. I really love her so so much and I wouldnt do anything to end the relationship. I am prepared to live with this for the rest of my life. its worth it to be with her, but I just hope there was some way to make it less severe or something. Im in china so im not sure what a doctor would do even if we went to see one here. can somebody give some advice?

thanks,

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Awee Jim, what a good guy you are.

Is she on the pill? Does she excercise?

Man you bring back memories when i was younger, but the Doctor put me on the pill at 14 ( non sexual) and i have found as an "older woman" that the more i walk, the more I am less irritable.

She is probably embarrased of the way she acts, as to why she is in denial with you...

CW

[jimneedshelp]

I think because recently we have been moving and she has alot of stress from unrelated things, it has made her last period even worse than normal. thats what pushed me to search for help

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well, I know that when I am under stress, i am a beatchhhh... i suffer more for sure...

As I said, she is probably embarrassed love.. It's way tough being a woman in that regard...

Just hug her and let her know your there and she will probably relax more...

[WildChild]

If she can control it around her friends, then she can control it around you! There is more than PMS going on.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

she often abuses me physically and verbally. often beating me and crying for periods then seemingly ok then maybe an hour later be back to crying and hitting me. caused by "somthing i did to make her mad".

Your thread predominately was about "periods"... One paragraph in the whole thing above can easliy be missed..

Do you know if she was "abused?"..

WC... I think your correct " something major is going on here, not periods"...

Thank you for bringing what we missed.

CW

[Kallygirlie]

Hey Jim. I have to disagree with the last 2 individuals. On a normal basis I get irritated and mad but its never to bad. In the past yr its been horrible. Heck if I didn't know any better I would think you were my man talking about me. I lost my mom to lung cancer in July of 2008 and ever since then my periods are been horrible to everyone around me. the more stress her body is under, the harder PMS is going to hit. I've thrown markers at my mans head and smacked him. We've screamed at the top of our lungs at each other because of it. We just talked last night about my fuse and he said how he cant understand why it seems like I snap so quickly now. Honestly I dont even feel like I have a fuse. One wrong word and I'm off on a hissy. She may already know this but its really embarrassing to admit. It may not be a matter of going to the doctor, could just be a matter of taking some stress off her plate. Talk to her about what she could be stressed about. If its with the moving, then see if you can take a little bit more of the work on and let her take a seat and relax for a bit. The golden key for me is a back rub. I could be on the verge of total insanity but when my man massages my neck and back its like a trigger to shut up.....LOL!!! If that fails, check in to PMDD. My best friend has this. When she's on her period, I just avoid her. Shes just mean and nasty and it last for 3 weeks with hr. She explains PMDD as being PMS times 10. Good luck tho Jim. Just be patient with her. We may flip out on our men but 9 out of 10 times it makes us feel horrible. She prob hates it just as much as you

[WildChild]

Kally read back through, you aren't disagreeing with CW or me. You are talking about being disagreeable to Everyone. His gf is fine with other people, just not him. Selective pms? Not likely. Stress reduction very might well help, but my guess is this is somegthing to do with the relationship.

[jimneedshelp]

No, i would like to point out that she is fine to me too most of the time, its only when shes on her period that this happens. normally she is so great to me. This is something I am very sure that is directly related to that time of the month, I have experienced it for too long to not be positive. and, i think shes not close enough to her friends to be able to explode on them, i think PMS or not, you wouldnt explode on somebody unless you were very close to them. Im wondering is there some foods or something she could eat or not eat, vitimins she can take that can reduce the severity of the PMS?

[WildChild]

There was a diet plan developed by a doctor in the later 80s I think, that might just do the trick. It's The Woman's Advantage Diet. It teaches women how to use the hormonal changes through their cycle and their diet to their advantage for both weight and emotional control. I used it for some time after pregnancy for weight loss and to get my hormones rebalanced and it worked great. Of course beyond the cost of the paperback it didn't generate any big profits for anyone so it never got the promotion it deserved.