Facebook and Sis in law

[sugarbee]

Ok, Ladies...I am new to this board and am asking for some advice.

here goes...I had a pretty good relationship with my sis in law...never an ill word has been said by either of us, we have always gotten along pretty good up until facebook came into our lives. One day an ex girlfriend of my brother's (from 15 yrs ago) contacted me. I was thrilled, this woman was good to me in so many ways - she was a nurse and was there for me when I was pregnant and had left my abusive husband - she opened her door to me, set me up with a great obgyn and was there for the birth of my first born. Things between her and my brother fell apart while I was living with her - and well I never really got a chance to say thank you and say how greatful I was for all she did. Again I was thrilled when she contacted me via facebook - we strictly emailed each other and never posted comments to each other. I found out about what her life is like now and I shared with her what I was up to too...remarried, baby girl new home...etc and i was finally able to thank her for all she did for me. After we caught up we didn't really say much to each other and just kept each other as friends on facebook as what happens with most friends you find on FB.
About a month or so later my sis in law calls me and starts with "this is going to be a little awkward.." she asks me if I have the EX as a freind on FB, I say yes? She then states "don't you think that having her on is in Bad Taste? I reply with I don't understand what you are saying (at this point I am shocked she is even talking to me about this) "Yes, this woman had lived with your brother for a good 5 years, don't you think it is in BAD TASTE that you have her on as a FB friend. I frankly told her it was really none of her business...then she started to yell at me - I told her not to raise her voice at me twice...then she decided to unload the F word and I hung up before she could finish. I then called my bro and told him what was going on...he was pissed at me?!!!! And I haven't talked to them since. My question is am I wrong??? Am I the bad guy here...just need some advice?

[Joy]

my sisterin law has all of my bf's ex's on her FB and I am not upset with her about it. Its her life and I don't get to control who is in her life as she has no control over who I have in my life.

If this woman caused alot of problems and drama for your sisterl in law in the past then yes I would say its bad taste but again its still your life.

Its sad your brother has not spoken to you over this FB is not reason to lose family over. There must be a senstive issue that you are not privy to. You are not the bad person here but you may not have all the information. Maybe it just looks like you are.

sounds like peoples emotions are a lil senstive on this subject. Talk to them find out what you can to resolve this.

[yellowpiXi3]

FIRST OFF.... its facebook. second, its your life. this girl helped YOU out. you can't take that back. and i'm glad that you appreciate what she did. but remember there are two sides to every story. your brother and sister in a law might have one. try to see if you can see both perspectives. but what it boils down to is its your life. you can have whom ever you want in it.

[ghisele]

ask your self would you be up set if your brother looked up you ex and add him to a fraind list and how would it make your new men feel as a part of his brother in law life

[Tina Lee]

I think all 3 of you need to sit down, and calmly discuss this..

Are you & your brother close? Does your brother often get upset at something like this? If he never does, maybe there's more to the story..

If your brother & sis in-law always cause drama, I wouldn't worry about it then. But if they never really cause anything, then maybe you need to re-consider their feelings.

There needs to be a comprimise here. The ex really was a true friend to you during a difficult time in your life. That just doesn't go away. Your brother & sis in-law are hurting, and that also needs to be respected..

But you are not the bad guy here. You wanted to show your gratitude, and there's nothing wrong with that. But like someone else said, that this is an emotional topic, but it needs to be talked through. Otherwise, people let years go by without speaking to one another..