I am Frustrated....

[Tina Lee]

Okay my dad & I had a little fight today, and I am frustrated, hurt, and angry.

First some background info:
1. My parents have 2 kids, me and my sister. We'll call my sister K.
2. My parents divorced, and my dad re-married. My step-mom has 2 kids. A girl and a boy.
3. My step-mom does not get along with her son, and he lives very far away. So they hardly ever see him. About once in five years.
4. My step-mom, and her daughter are very very close. We'll call my step-sister C.
5. My dad and my sister (K) are not close at all. The live in the same city, but barely talk.
6. My dad and I live in different cities, but we have good communication, and are close.

Yesterday was my hubby's birthday. So my dad, & step-mom planned on coming to our town, and spending the day with us. We were looking foward to them coming here.

Then they invited my sister (K), and her bf to come with them. They ended up going shopping together, without inviting us, and they only spent 2 hours with us.

It looks like my sister (K), and my dad are patching things up. I am very happy for them both. I know my dad has missed her.

What makes me upset, is that K & C live in the same city as dad & step-mom. They get to see them anytime they want. They get alone time to visit with them. Because I live out of town, I sometimes feel that I'm missing out.

My dad and I've tried to talk about this. He thinks "it was a lovely day today", and I feel hurt.

I support his relationship with my sister, and I support a relationship with my step-sister, but as I said I live out of town, and can't be there all the time. I also hear, "Oh we did this with C," & "K's coming today, " etc.. etc..

Part of me feels selfish, and part of me feels forgotten too. What do your girls think??

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hi Tina.

I think that it was "random" not planned or deliberate, and maybe the thought of spending a full day with you, sparked him to communicate with K... and it just turned out that way.

I know it's "tough" hearing about other siblings, but as you say they live basically in the same city so naturally they catch up more. Do you think that your parents are really only "sharing" what is going on with "family?".

I can say that I live for instance one and a half hours away from my parents and my brother lives 20 minutes away, he has three children, I have none, and so they have the opportunity to catch up more.

But, reality?

So, do i, it's called "effort", all I have to do is once a fortnight make the "effort" to go to them and have dinner with them but I don't.

So I am saying, maybe you need to make an "effort" to travel down once a month yourselves, and ask them up more often other than birthdays if you can, I know it's a heck of a drive but your younger obviously than your parents as well...

I really think it wasn't a planned decision and your father is probably getting older and as they get older, they start to have regrets and try to piece those back together, it seems he has no regrets with you then doesn't it... Only K.

Good luck and keep smiling....

It could be worse.

CW

[Tina Lee]

Thanks CW.

You make some very good points.

I can see his side more clearly today. I am still a bit frustrated, but I'll work through that.

Thanks for lending me your ear!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I know it's the weekend, but I also know others "would" reply also, geez I can't be the only one, so I'm bringing your thread back up to the top.

Sometimes Tina, it does take a day or two to put things into perspective, because initally, all we see, is well "what we see"....

CW