Confused and Unhappy...Need some advise please :O/

[Smellycat78]

Hi guys I'm new to this. I just needed somewhere to let everything out. I have been with now fiance for 7 years, we both still live at home with our parents - which is a pain but we are saving for a house. For the last year he has started working away in the week and sometimes over the weekends. At first it didn't bother me too much. I now find my self really down when he's not around.

Also, he has always looked at porn and stuff which I didn't really bother me, I actually find out he goes on Live chat web sites where you can actually chat and ask the girls to do stuff. This makes me really insecure, it is affecting me now in that I feel really , I feel fat and horrible, and I'm just doubting everything... I asked him about it and he says he doesnt talk to them, he just gets bored and wants to find new ways to make me happy - I told him this is fine, ask me, or we could watch it together, he wasn't into that, and we haven't gone any further with this.

The main problem is I feel like I just cant talk to him or anyone at the moment - I just don't know what to do for the best - he says he wants me to talk to him, as he rings me every night when he is away - I just can't - it just comes out wrong - I just don't know what to say to him. I just feel so rotten - and I don't know what to do.

[Hopeless Dork]

Theres no good answer for this. You can ask him to stop and he may or may not.. but either way he could still do it and hide, and either way you know if he stopped its not because he wanted to its because you asked him to.

I've beaten my head up against a brick wall on the porn issue with my boyfriend, sometimes I just want to be all by myself so that I don't have to feel inadequate anymore.

[Ahryin]

You should never feel inadequate because of porn.....never! Let me explain something a man watching porn honestly has nothing to do with you. Men grow up watching porn at least most men. They sneak it under their beds...they have a bat cave collection where you push a button and the wall slides the steps appear out of no where and they grab that old time torch walk through the cob webs (that materialize like magic everytime they close the bat cave) and go into there small room filled with lube and, dvds, cigars, and liquor! Embrace, accept it and move on...if you still feel akward about it you can either join or get even Since he is your fiance how about you make a tape for him. What can those girls do that you can't? What are they to him that you aren't...absolutely nothing! He loves you! Which is why he is working so hard and saving money to get a house with you vs just jumping into debt. Even though you and him could opt for a small studio apt and still save together. Might take longer but at least you would have your privacy. You could make a dvd featuring you and slip it in his pocket, breifcase, suitcase whatever! Take a poll dancing class or buy the dvd. They are all over the place now. Show him that YOU want to be what he masterbates to on a constant basis. He probably doesn't want to talk to you about it because he doesn't know how open you are and feels you might judge him for it. It has nothing to do with you sweety. Ever heard of the term can't turn a hoe into a housewife?

[Smellycat78]

Thanks Ahryin - that makes sense I suppose.... May be it is time to get the old vid cam out!

[Hopeless Dork]

I do the videos, I do the pictures. He loves them. He still looks porn.

[Smellycat78]

Here goes.... cheers guys x

[Ahryin]

LOL...see it is really NOT your fault. It's just embedded in some men. Man my step father has a vault! Like from the 70's up! Its takes up the entire basement wall to wall...really scary!

[Smellycat78]

crazy dudes! I think I just need to chill and stop thinking so much! :O)

[mossifern]

"Since he is your fiance how about you make a tape for him."

just asking about this one guys??

I asked my partner for some play time and like videos, toys etc and he goes like ahh
"baby i got too much on with me making music and all the i have to do"...
(he is on the dole, go figure!!"
no job and over 35, with no passion or need for making money at all,)

this guy has gone from women2women, threesomes, group sex, tranies, and is into russian mature porn atm which looks like me cause i just colored my hair, im observing the process its very interesting but have asked him to bring it back to the bed and doesnt work......time is ticking
any thoughts would be great!!
men are from mars!!

[mossifern]

meant to say that he is into that stuff online....whoops comes across wrong sozza xo