Abandonment

[artist1633]

Thanks Cat, you are a wise woman. We will get through this. As I write I feel consciencious. I am considering the fact that it is taking me a long time to recover. And sometimes a lack of belief that she would leave me. The insecurity stems from the fact some people can deal with this better than others. Those people led a secure life. Some of us come from dysfunctional families and lack certain elements. Love is one. I have learned to loved with difficulty. It isn't perfect. Therein lays love for my "ex" that is dissipating slowly. Come "6 months," come.

[caterpillar79]

Thanks for appreciating...

I found this site my refuge. I believe I have posted somewhere a while back that this is where I vent. It is cathartic. You should try blogging.

[caterpillar79]

2 months had passed for me...then, the ex turned after realizing more things about us that we just could not leave behind. The beautiful part was that we were able to appreciate the small things that we used to have and enjoy which we took for granted when we were together. I am glad it was not too late for us. We are now engaged and are working it out.

I told him I was badly hurt. I need some help mending. I still have flashbacks from that dreadful day, and honestly, the pain also comes back. I am just glad that I don't feel any resentment towards him nor myself. All he and I have to work on now is the emotional trauma that it had caused me, for I am a very very sensitive individual. I had a difficult childhood and past life in general.

[artist1633]

What a beautiful story. Your life sounds much like my ex. How I wish we could resolve the communication issues. Once the foundational things are agreed upon, all else is workable. Without communication however, nothing is possible. Therein laid the problem.
Let's see what the future brings. As for me, my ex knew my sensitivity. Perhaps she saved me from further pain. She knew the things she did hurt. Good luck with your relationship. At least you recognize the issues and can work on them together.

[artist1633]

Time is a good healer, thoughts of "ex" linger, but the feelings are becoming vague. Sadness is prevalent and her image is absolutely clear. I read and reread the answers to my questions in this text conference; they make sense. My heart doesn't.

The silly thoughts of whether she is thinking of me are no good. The pain is almost gone, but the memories are there. Soon the details will be ambiguous. Actually I am tired of thinking about it. My mind is drained. It is only the good times I remember. Only now do I feel that this conference about us will end. I am thinking about her next guy, how he will handle the relationship. My friends keep telling me, it is not you...it is her. That is true, but how unfortunate. For those of you who are in a relationship, if core values are in both of you, then all you really need is communication, understanding, and a desire to not lose each other. But it has to be a two way street. My ex had no intention of helping to keep us together. When she said "girlfriends stay but boyfriends come and go, " I should of realized the truth of her own belief. So, she is on to another perhaps. But for those of you in love, keep it up, don't lose it, the feeling is precious.

[artist1633]

it's been weeks since "ex" contacted me. i'm passed the depression stage. now meeting women. it is fun, but memories of her linger. anxious to get on with it. for all you readers, i cannot emphasize enough, to communicate your feelings with loved ones and your partner. do not do hurtful things...karma is certainly a bad thing and will come back to you. later.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hey artisti1633..

I am glad for sure you've passed the depression stage and your going out. I guess though your dreams are still dreams, memories..

I appreciate your thoughts, I agree, but it takes 2... You always wanted to but it was always one sided in this relationship at least.

I know I am 46 but that means I have lived... So let me say no matter how old we are there are lessons to be learnt.

Please take this in the right way... But we can not be knights.. we can not save .. and we can not settle.

We did that all as a youth.

Karma, certainly will bite all in the bum , I am definately a great believer of that....

CW

[GlitterAndStuds]

I'm also glad to hear that you're feeling that much better, and getting out and enjoying yourself more. She was a big part of your life before, so of course you'll remember her from time to time. There's nothing wrong with caring for her and wishing her well. But it's great that you're in the mindset that you want to move on and are willing to make over your entire life. I commend you for that.

[caterpillar79]

I am happy to hear about your latest achievements. Keep going. Whatever works, right?

[artist1633]

I wish there was more I could do to thank all of you who helped me with their advice. Chandler's Wish, Cat, and Glitter/Studs...thanks for your words.
After several weeks of nothing but fun, I called and asked for the return of a special crystal I had given her.
This crystal is special to me, I have a twin of it. In April I was thoroughly convinced my ex was the one for me. I had always thought I'd give this crystal to the woman of my dreams. Well, it didn't pan out. Now I've left a message explaining why I am asking for the return of the crystal.
I hope she responds. The message was this afternoon. I kind of doubt she will attempt communication. Hate to lose the crystal, but I may have to chalk it up to experience.