Ok Huge Problem

**Empty** · 08-23-2009 11:15 AM

Ok so if you have read any of my posts seperated from husband blah blah blah, and neither of us has filed paperwork for divorce, i'm not paying for it.

Today I receive a very nasty email today from him, saying that he's canceling my health insurance and he doesn't care what happens to me, and that basically he hopes I just disappear. Now I have a lot of medical problems which he is aware of, and last week I was diagnosed with some kind of weird lung problem that if not treated correctly could kill me. He also knows this, now out of no where he's saying hes canceling. Does anyone know if he can legally do that, we aren't even legally seperated. I think his mistress is pushing for him to end ties with me, which is fine but messing with my health is completely out of line.

**WildChild** · 08-23-2009 11:24 AM

Check your state laws and get a sep agreement filed immediately. Once that is filed he cannot legally take you off his insurance until the divorce is final. Forget the you aren't paying stuff and do it, immediately! Oddly enough this may be legal for him to do Unless you have filed.

**Empty** · 08-23-2009 11:28 AM

A woman I work with who is our human resources says he can't legally do that, and if he does then he's responsible for all medical bills. But how will I know if he doesn, I'm so worried now, this isn't some kind of game you can play with someones life. She said since he has made no steps to divorce me that he has to keep covering it. I don't know what i'll do, I need so many medical tests, although my company offers health ins, it's extremely expensive and there is a 5k deductible which I cant afford and it would be a pre existing condition. OMG i just don't know, this came out of no where him just freaking out like this.

**WildChild** · 08-23-2009 11:58 AM

Check with an attorney first thing Monday. Many will do an initial free consultation or 30-60 mins. You may also be able to find info on line regarding your state's divorce laws.

**baja** · 08-23-2009 01:26 PM

I've seen people act terribly, but that is just downright ice cold. Definitely consult an attorney and when you divorce him, get every last cent you can!

**WildChild** · 08-23-2009 01:33 PM

My recent ex pulled this too. Even though it was illegal he cancelled my car insurance and gave me 3 days notice - right before a weekend. He tried to remove me from his policies through his employer. He told me they said he couldn't, but he was trying to find a way. This was after I saw him through years of ill health and multiple surgeries and yes, I had a health arise (turned not serious) and had to super rush to take care of it.

**Empty** · 08-23-2009 02:31 PM

This is all out of no where too. If there was any way I could take him to the cleaners I would, but we didn't own anything. Some people say I can get alamony because he cheated, but NJ is a no fault state so I don't think that would work. I put myself into almost 15k in debt because he controled the finances and I had no $$ when I left and needed to get an apt and furniture and stuff like that. I'm going to call his HR department tomorrow first thing and make sure it's noted that I did not give persmission and will not for him to cancel, and then I'll call the ins company too for the same reason. The one medication I take each day, without ins is 600 a month, there is no generic to replace it. And right now i'm taking a couple of others to see what's going to happen with this lung thing. I'm going to try and find a lawyer to consult with, this is just insane and down right cruel! Over the past couple of weeks he has called me a Wh*&& amonst other things becuase I started dating, but he's the one that doesn't want to be with me, so apparantly I'm supposed to sit here and be alone for the rest of my life waiting for him. He can do no wrong, he can have his relationship with his mistress, but if I even talk to a guy then i'm a . I don't know, i am really sick of it. The stress effects me physically and this all needs to stop.

**Katsaly** · 08-23-2009 02:43 PM

You really, really, really, need to talk to a lawyer. Most of the advise given here is in regards to divorce/civil law. However, there is another factor here: he is your husband, and he wants you gone to be with his mistress, so he is attempting to deny you lifesaving care? That sounds like a criminal issue, and I think you should bring that up with a lawyer, in addition to everything else. You might want to even talk to the police, but I'd talk to a lawyer first.

**Empty** · 08-23-2009 02:48 PM

I have to at this point, I am going to call my dad in the am and see which direction he wants me to take and what lawyer he is using and hopefully he will help out financially with it. He wants M out of our lives, he said it makes him so upset that each time he see's me I always start crying. So i'll talk to M's HR dept and the insurance comp and get a lawyer. This just isn't right, he gets to go around living it up with his mistress, and I can't do anything without being called names or threatened with the health stuff. Don't get me wrong, I have called him my fair share of names and everything under the sun, but I was deeply hurt and destroyed over this. And to make it worse, he allows her to trash me to anyone that will listen and of course I always hear about it. I don't know, I hope that there is something a lawyer can do, I feel I have a right tooo. And all I had asked him for were the rest of my personal items, f'd up!

**OhThereYouAre** · 08-25-2009 07:41 AM

Originally Posted by Empty

A woman I work with who is our human resources says he can't legally do that, and if he does then he's responsible for all medical bills. But how will I know if he doesn, I'm so worried now, this isn't some kind of game you can play with someones life. She said since he has made no steps to divorce me that he has to keep covering it. I don't know what i'll do, I need so many medical tests, although my company offers health ins, it's extremely expensive and there is a 5k deductible which I cant afford and it would be a pre existing condition. OMG i just don't know, this came out of no where him just freaking out like this.

She's wrong. He can legally do what he wants with his health insurance.
Why would you ever listen to HR for legal advice?

And no, YOU will be legally responsible for your medical bills.