What keeps your marriage together. Tell me the secret.

[OhThereYouAre]

I will be getting married next year, and I'd like to hear from some of you marriage veterans. Specifically, I'm worried about children. From everything I read, it seems marriage goes down hill after kids.

-So-

What keeps you two together?

What keeps the sexual attraction alive?

Any tips/words of wisdom?

I'd love to hear, guys.

[LanaBear]

You know I'm wordy, so I'll see what I can do here...

I will be getting married next year, and I'd like to hear from some of you marriage veterans. Specifically, I'm worried about children. From everything I read, it seems marriage goes down hill after kids.

-So-

What keeps you two together?

Our complete adoration with each other. No matter what issues we have, and thankfully they are far and few between, we know that no matter what happens, we're in this together. We've seen so many of our friends make mistakes, but we both have such similar morals regarding family, love, and life, we just click.

Get this... We are with each other pretty much 24/7, we both have telecommuting jobs, so no, we don't wake up and leave each other everyday. Our desks face each other in our office at home. We work together, raise our kids together, live together, love together and I wouldn't have it any other way. People think we are crazy because we just click and have very few problems. Even my mom wonders how we do it.

If you have found the right person to spend the rest of your life with, it will work, it will happen and you will work around any obstacles you face together. I could go on and on, but hopefully you get the hint.

What keeps the sexual attraction alive?

You'll go through hiccups. Support each other and keep it fresh. Sleepless nights with babies, exhaustion, life will all get in the way at some point. But make it a point to spend time alone together. Live for what the night brings with your wife.

What keeps the sexual attraction alive?

Any tips/words of wisdom?[/QUOTE]

Don't worry about kids, in my opinion, it only makes it better. Yeah, things change, but we feel so complete now, it's amazing! It's rough, don't get me wrong, they test your patience, you may differ on how to handle situations as parents, but it is what it is! In my opinion, my life gets better and better with each passing day with my two turkeys and hubby.

[WildChild]

Lana's probably summed it up already. You need to find the right person. Some do so right off the bat while others of us never do. I've have always thought that if two people loved each other and each put the happiness of the other at the top of their list every day, that would do it. But it takes both doing it, that seems to be rare.
It shouldn't be so hard to do.

[LanaBear]

And for the love of GOD, split chores.

Hubby does the laundry, I fold.

Hubby picks up the house, I clean the house.

Hubby deals with everything in the garage, I deal with the front landscaping.

Hubby and I pretty much split kitchen duties. Who ever cooks, doesn't do the clean up. He does the BBQing, I do the inside cooking stuff.

Raise your kids TOGETHER!

It is a partnership after all!

[rcoreyus]

Find the right person. In particular don't marry someone hoping that they will change - the won't.

Be honest with yourself. Do you actually enjoy being around the other person?

Figure out a way to deal with money: Each of you should be able to spend some money on completely stupid things without complaints from the other.

Finally - the goal isn't to make the marriage last. The goal is for both of you to be happy.

[sarahlee20]

Find the right person. In particular don't marry someone hoping that they will change - the won't.

Be honest with yourself. Do you actually enjoy being around the other person?

Figure out a way to deal with money: Each of you should be able to spend some money on completely stupid things without complaints from the other.

Finally - the goal isn't to make the marriage last. The goal is for both of you to be happy.

I totally agree with your statement. P.s. I'm not married....yet just engaged.

[stressed]

Find the right person. In particular don't marry someone hoping that they will change - they won't.

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed."

Albert Einstein

[caterpillar79]

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed."

Albert Einstein

Ironic but generally fitting, eh?!

If you found the right person for you, you will not want him to change. You'd want him to stay the way he was when you fell in love with him.

But then again, 'change' is relative. If the change if from positive going to a more positive thing, who would refuse that?

[WildChild]

To remain static at some level is to die. The trick is to keep growing and exploring but do it together.

[caterpillar79]

Precisely!

But what does it take to keep that interest of 'growing and exploring together' alive all the days of your life as husband and wife?

Can we start making our list?