The Good, The Bad and ..yeah.

[Gahzilla]

And you mentioned something about his job earlier, sounding like it was "spying" or "dangerous line of duty", and then later, about the Insurance Company for "what ever reason" won't insure him for driving.

My gut feeling is RUN...

Nothing in the real world here, makes much sense...

CW

He wasn't a 007 or anything at all. I wish I had PM abilities, I could enlighten you so it was easier to understand.

I jumped the gun on the car insurance, they put him on there anyway, the primary paperwork I looked at only listed me, and in my frantic state, I didn't think to call and verify anything. I used to have an email address named "hairbrained1", sometimes I really think it's fitting!

It's been a few days, and events have gone 180 degrees on some fronts. My dad, for whatever reason, has pulled the Denver move out from under us. I'm not sure why, I wasn't in the mindset to ask, I was too confused to even bother. I can only speculate, but it might be the fact that divorce is easier if you stay in the general area of the court house.

I talked to my husband briefly yesterday on the phone. I do miss him, but I miss my car more lol! I think honestly instead of running away from the whole problem and solving it long distance, I will find ways of saving up some funds and relocating myself and the kids in due time. I did find out that I can take them anywhere in the US w/o having to file for permission with the courts, so that's a big plus. Opens up a LOT of opportunity.

Since I'm not being rushed out of my home by my father, I think I will take my time, sit back, I know what I need to do when, and just take it one step at a time. I know I do need out. I really do. I needed to get to the dr to get meds that don't work for bronchitis and there is always some degree of complexity husband has when it comes to getting over here. Something always prevents it. I'm tired of being last, and need to make myself a priority. After I talk to my work supervisor about an employee bringing in this sickness (I am super susceptible to bronchitis, it will last a month easy) I am going to look into a cheapy little car so I can at least make job interviews and hop back in with my temp agency.

I just need to work within the confines of my time, abilities, and motivations. Ugh, hard to be motivated when your face is all stuffed!

[Gahzilla]

**Update #2**

I got the car back, his card is cancelled, the insurance can be switched to me now, I'll work on refinancing the car, his phone # was switched over to my other phone.

Gonna rest now, I got a busy day tomorrow.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

**Update #2**

I got the car back, his card is cancelled, the insurance can be switched to me now, I'll work on refinancing the car, his phone # was switched over to my other phone.

Gonna rest now, I got a busy day tomorrow.

"hairbrained1", sometimes I really think it's fitting!

LOL...

Whooo hooo..

It's really strange I think, when you start putting 2 and 2 together, you actually really do get 4...

I'm pleased things are starting to work out and you can see, light at the end of the tunnel and more importantly, that your focusing on you..

CW

[Gahzilla]

You know, when I switched over the phone number, I couldn't help but laugh. All of it, it's comical at best. Here is this "intelligent, proud, confident" European male who is good looking, and is all about integrity, yet he abandons his wife and stepchildren to be with a 20-something little girl who can't even spell correctly in her text messages to him? I found it funny that she had thanked him for alone time that she really needed. I know he can be a *very* smothery person. He's started even sooner.

And when my sister and I went up to get the car, he was so... bleeeeeeh. I didn't want to be anywhere near him. I stood, focused on the task. No small talk, just "You abandoned us, I needed the car to get to the doctor, you didn't show. I need to take care of my children, you don't care. I am legally bound through the courts to have that car, and you again, do not care. Give me the keys." repeatedly, after every "no" from him. My sister told him we could do this all night, we can call some family members in that are police.

Now, keep in mind my sister is maybe 105 pounds, early 40's, and about 5'4" tall. He's about 230, 6'1" and a 3rd degree black belt in judo. She handles men his size in a locked ward on a daily basis. With ease. When he came at me after I snatched the car keys from his hands, she stood immediately between us and got in his face and told him to back down. The tone ... man.... I can see why she is SO good at her job, he backed down immediately and did whatever she said.

He asked how he was supposed to get home from work, and I looked at him, smiled a little, cocked my head and said "Hmm... well... you do have feet and all.. perhaps you can walk, like I do all the time? Or, you could call a friend and have them get you, you do have friends still, right?"

My friend had told me about what my husband had been doing and saying. What is funny is that everyone at his workplace ADORES me, so how long would it have stayed a secret? After they told me, and they wanted to remain anonymous, but they were so sad at holding in the secret, I thanked them for bringing me the one thing nothing else could: a clear path, the finality of all the turmoil, the calm and peace I desperately needed.

All his paperwork - including immigration paperwork - is safely put away, as well as some VERY rare and expensive books from Holland. I found a nice little bit of illegal paraphenelia in the closet as well, and need to find out from immigration what to do in this situation. I do want maintenance, but I also want him to never come near my children again ever.

I can FINALLY use apple cinnamon room scenter! I can not have TV on all the time! I dont' have to endure the plastic "hi sweetie sweetie"s anymore. *aaahhh. that's nice!*

[GlitterAndStuds]

Haha well I'm really glad to hear that you stood your ground so well, and that you're starting to get your feet back under you. You sound like a very strong chick, and you're handling this whole situation really well. Plus, there are always those little silver linings Congrats on being such a hard worker for your family and taking the right steps with this.

[Gahzilla]

yeah, my kids are really proud of me for finally getting the car back, now they want to go everywhere! haha We had to head to my friend's/their cousins house sooo many times this past weekend, and it's a 45 minute each way trip. I was glad to have gotten the car back with a full tank of gas

I haven't heard at all from him since that friday, and we really didn't even talk on that friday at all. I'm working on laying out the divorce paperwork now, and sent him an email outlining my demands - which is maintenance that he volunteered at $600/mo until I graduate college or get married again - or we could put off the divorce and go into intensive counseling for marriage and self. He doesn't want that at all, so I'm pretty certain he won't fight the maintenance. He wants a quick divorce, and I want to make sure I can make ends meet. I plan on speaking with an attorney either today or tomorrow about what can be done.

Though something odd has occurred. I keep getting the notion that he managed to get his girlfriend pregnant. I wasn't about to have another child anyway, and honestly, I'm glad I wasn't able to anyway, not with all of this stuff going on.