I like him A LOT...but is he interested in just being friends....

[Anxiously Waiting]

Since I seem to always get really good advice from the people on here, I thought I would seek some more...I am relationship stupid!

So the story is, I have known Liam for about 4 years. We met at work, he is a police officer and I do admin work for them. Right away we chatted like old friends, he had a girlfriend at the time, and unfortunately he got transferred to a city about 4 hours away. We still kept in contact, mostly through e-mailing/Facebook...so a couple weeks ago I was gonna be in the city where he works so I sent him a message with my # to call. Just my luck, he was actually going to working in the city where I recently relocated (we are now only 2 hours apart) for that weekend, and part of the following week. Buuuuuuut, he called me!!! He was doing some surveillance so he called me while he was working and we talked for about an hour and half....then said if I was gonna be up for a bit he would take his break and come see me for a few minutes. So he did...and he scoped out my new pad, and he checked the air filter in my furnace and told me I need to change it (don't ask). Then he ended up asking me to go for dinner with him, so I said yes...he paid for dinner, went to the store with me to get the right air filters for the furnace and we even stopped off at my parents new house (he's really into building homes) so he could take a look and he ended up chatting with them for about half an hour. Then he went back to his city. He did hug me before he left, and he texted me to let me know he got home. And yes he broke up with his girlfriend about 9 months ago.

Within 4 days he texted me to see how things were...and I told him I was coming to his city for a concert. My brother happened to bail on me so I had an extra ticket and offered it to him....and he accepted and asked me to stay at his place (which I declined very politely). Concert = hip hop. Then again...my awesome luck...the concert gets cancelled the night before, so I didn't end up going.

We have talked on the phone a few times since then...he's called a couple times, and I have called him a couple times. I was off for a few days, and he told me to call him at work...weird....most guys hate that. None of our conversations have been less than 40 minutes and we have talked about the good, the bad and the ugly.

Now we were thinking about getting together next weekend...but with his job, he got notice that he may have to go for special ops next week in my city (so we would probably see each other), but if he is here all week he may just want to go back home come the weekend...which I can totally understand. But he said if he doesn't have to come here, or at least doesn't have to be here all week, he would love to come down for the weekend and hang out.

This is all great....and here is the but.....when we have been talking he has said things like he joined this dating service because he can't seem to meet anyone, but he hasn't managed to go out on any dates as yet, he has just been reading people's profiles. He has also said he's not just looking for a hook up, he wants to meet someone for the long term. And he's made references to me meeting someone, and saying things like "don't just settle", "the right guys will come along", etc.

So my question is....am I just the girl he feels comfortable talking to about his personal stuff, or is he testing the waters to see if he is interested, or is he just plain old interested and playing hard to get? ANY advice as to what I should do next...please let me know...do I tell him how I feel? Do I just let it play out on it's own? But I'm scared that that means the opportunity will pass by.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It doesn't matter sweet what you say to him because there are only two answers back to you.

1. He only sees you as a friend...

or:

2. He likes you too...


What do you have to lose?

The fact that he has stated that he "hasn't" dated yet, rather that he has only "looked" at profiles makes me think that he's not ready to move on yet... And, your "safe" however how can we seriously read someone's mind? Even this white witch!!!

I would ask him what he looks for in a girl and feel him out over it all, see if he asks you what you look for and you can always say " someone identical to you would work for me"....

I am a good one for messages that have double meanings......

Good luck.

CW

[caterpillar79]

Mixed signals, huh? I agree with the White witch's intuition - hasn't failed with the double-meaning text messages I kept receiving. lol...here's a tip. Read this book: How to marry the man of your choice by Margaret Kent. It tells you how to "pursue" a guy you like to end up with in a subtle way. Just try it - I am currently reading it and it's fascinating to learn about how she herself used this on her husband. Don't worry, it's a short read.

[ThexMrs]

Just go for it... You win some, you lose some. If it isn't meant to be it won't happen. No risk, no reward. It's your life, take control, get what you want. Who knows? You have to try... The worst is that he likes you as a friend. That's not so bad. At least he likes you in some way.

[Anxiously Waiting]

I am definately going to go get that book tomorrow...I need all the help I can get. LOL....

CW, when you say I'm "safe"...what does that mean?

I am a little worried that if I give him the double meaning and he picks up that I am interested in him as more than a friend, that it will freak him out if the feeling isn't mutual and then in turn affect our friendship.

Oh and I will mention that he is 38 and I am 28....gawd..do they stop playing games at any age???? Hahah...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I am definately going to go get that book tomorrow...I need all the help I can get. LOL....

CW, when you say I'm "safe"...what does that mean?

I am a little worried that if I give him the double meaning and he picks up that I am interested in him as more than a friend, that it will freak him out if the feeling isn't mutual and then in turn affect our friendship.

Oh and I will mention that he is 38 and I am 28....gawd..do they stop playing games at any age???? Hahah...

Hypothetically...He's looking at photos of profiles only, he hasn't asked anyone for a date yet, he's almost ready to date but not quite ready or else he'd be clicking "liked your profile thought I'd be brave and say hi", haha that's one actually they can do on a certain sight...

So your safe, that being he can be with you, get the female attention he needs, without the "going down the dating line yet" and feel safe cause your not sleeping together....

Double meanings are "safe" lol.. Because you can always use the second meaning as to what you mean't if he takes the first one....

I'd say if your not comfortable with this, ensure you guys catch up as mates somewhere, where you can have a couple of drinks and see if he goes to kiss you goodnight or not, (not on the cheek)...

Good luck ..

[ThexMrs]

Don't contact him for some time, and you will be more clear about his thinking.

OR... It will backfire and he will think that you don't like him and have lost all interest so he won't try.

[Anxiously Waiting]

Thanks for clarifying CW! I'm pretty sure we wanted to kiss that night he was leaving to go back a couple weeks ago...but I think we were both to chicken to follow through....boo!!!

MRS....you were thinking exactly what I was thinking about leaving "the work" all up to him. So I think I have been doing my part in terms of initiating communication with him as well. But last week the bugger waited 3 days to return my call!!!!

So in terms of him possibly coming down this weekend.....we talked about it on Friday night that just passed and he was waiting to figure out what was happening with his work. So would it be considered pestering if I text/call him on Wednesday to find out if he is going to be able to make the trip? Or should I just wait for him to say something about it?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

lol.

Let him speak then you will know if it's real or not..

Say nothing do nothing, cat on a tin roof... Let him make the decisions as a man likes too.

CW

[Anxiously Waiting]

Hahahaha I am so bad....I'm totally freaking out and over analyzing everything. I can't help it!