husband cheating with neighbor/friend

[lost12161978]

I just found out this week after a few weeks of suspicion that my husband and good friend who also lives in the apartment next door have been having an affair. He is now saying he has feelings for her and he can't let her go, but he doesn't want to divorce me and rush into anything. He is going back and forth with I love you I'm sorry I want my life back to I'm trying to move on leave me alone. I made him pack some things and leave Tuesday and since he has no other choice, which he blames on me, he has chosen to stay with her. We have children and she has children the same age and they all play together and now they are seeing this? He thinks it's ok to have the kids at her apartment on the weekends now as well. He wants me to live here while he pays the bills and takes care of whatever I need him to. (I am disabled and have a limited income on my own and am unable to drive to take myself or my children to doc appts, grocery shopping etc). I don't know what to do!! ANY advice would be appreciated.

[LanaBear]

Sorry to hear about this mess that you find yourself in now.

First, he needs to make a choice. You need to make him make that choice. Don't let him have it both ways. I think if you continue to let him vacillate in this decision, the harder it is going to be on you and the kids. Honestly, it's a bunch of crp that he packed his stuff up and moved in with her, next door, but still says he loves you.

If you love him, if you feel you can get past this, and you feel you can fight for him, then do it, but I'm thinking cut your losses. Let him believe the whole grass is greener thing and you do what you can to be strong for yourself and children.

Regardless if he comes back to you or not, you need to find another place to live as a family or just you and the kids. Having you both next door to each other is sickeningly convenient for him. Regardless if he comes back to you or not, you need to find another place to live as a family or just you and the kids.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It's all very convenient for him, whilst he continues to pay the bills, he has "his old life back?"..

What was his old life?

Why does he feel he can't have that with you?

I am sorry that things have turned this way, he has cheated in the worse possible way, in your face basically and you can't live like this.

I agree, move and make him pay for what ever you still need whilst you decide on your future together, or apart.

You can't live next door it will destroy you.

CW

[beautiful]

you should get a divorce and try to get as much money out of this scumbag.before that I would get revenge on the that lives next door.try to get as much information about her from your husband.play along for a while.maybe you should make him believe everything is okay with you and that it turns you on thinking about him with another woman.try to get some naked pics of her.after that destroy her live and make her move.

[Kung Fu Kitty]

it never fails to amaze me how many women would want such a no good lying cheating p.o.s in their lives,and would FIGHT to have such a man. if you are disabled,i would apply for housing for disability,and services for disabled,im sure your town/state has them. it is obvious you cant depend on this guy...so divorce him as quick as possible,and leave him to her.

[happy ending]

i agree with kungfu kitty (cute name b.t.w) leave them to it, it sounds like they deserve each other. you must be feeling very vulnerable now, please look into your rights. can you see legal aide, can you speak to a social worker, you cant be treated this way. stay strong and take care.

[OhThereYouAre]

you should get a divorce and try to get as much money out of this scumbag.before that I would get revenge on the that lives next door.try to get as much information about her from your husband.play along for a while.maybe you should make him believe everything is okay with you and that it turns you on thinking about him with another woman.try to get some naked pics of her.after that destroy her live and make her move.

LOL.....popcorn anyone?

[Kung Fu Kitty]

you should get a divorce and try to get as much money out of this scumbag.before that I would get revenge on the that lives next door.try to get as much information about her from your husband.play along for a while.maybe you should make him believe everything is okay with you and that it turns you on thinking about him with another woman.try to get some naked pics of her.after that destroy her live and make her move.

i firmly believe theres a time to go fisticuffs,and a time to just drop it and walk. this is nothing you want to fight over,ESPECIALLY when kids are involved. take the high road,and show your children what a classy lady looks like.

[Miya]

you should get a divorce and try to get as much money out of this scumbag.before that I would get revenge on the that lives next door.try to get as much information about her from your husband.play along for a while.maybe you should make him believe everything is okay with you and that it turns you on thinking about him with another woman.try to get some naked pics of her.after that destroy her live and make her move.

None of this imo is the way to go. Revenge never brings redemption and only brings it back to you tenfold. It's a horrible predicament to be in for anyone but it would be best if you just told him to make a choice, kept the documentation, filed for divorce splitting assets and made sure the child support would come, otherwise courts don't look well on adultery still.

You don't need this extra hassle and stress. Find another place and move on with you life in the best way possible (all the while he and she both will know that they didn't have the power to hurt you).

I wish you the best..