suicidal father

[lowlow]

about 8 months ago my dad told me for the first time he was suicidal. he said he'd been depressed and tried killing himself since he was 13 . a few months after ...he told me he stabbed himself in the stomach he also tried hanging himself . i brought him to the kennedy crisis center he was there for a week and a half ..he seemed better that was a few months ago even though he hasnt tried anything he told me about a month after he got home he was feeling how he felt before ..my dad is a generally miserable person and he started sayin how he wanted to die and be with my mom [ she died wen i was 13 , im 19 now ] me telling him that i need him and our family needs him doesnt seem like its enough to keep going on one thing he told me was the medicine ceraquil or something helps most and more than anything but its really expensive ... i dont want to bring him back to that crisis center because they just locked him in a room with nothing i cant do that to him again ..hes not crazy ..everytime he tried killing himself that i kno of he was drunk ... alot of the time when hes sober he tells me hes alright he doesnt drink that much anymore but i wonder if drinkin increases suicidal thoughts/voices or whatever happens when your in that mind state. i cant loose my dad especially to suicide i need him hes my rock ; my world <3 please if anyone has any advice please tell me !

[CHANDLERS WISH]

That's alot for you to bare on your shoulders at such a young age.

He reached out to you when he really needed you and you were there

It seems that he has always had a problem but was able to cope. Since the Death of your Mother and I am so sorry you also went through that, it appears that he feels he would be better of with her than here. He obviously misses her terribly hense the drinking and yes, drinking can make you happy or bring you down.

he told me was the medicine ceraquil or something helps most and more than anything

Do you have other family? You all have to get together on this and find the money between all of you, he needs help. I gather there is no medical benefits to help in this regard.

Also you need them to talk to because you can't do this on your own.

You make it sound as if you don't live with him anymore? So you are unsure about what he drinks?

What is that situation does he live on his own? Is there away that could change if so, so that he has people around him?

CW

[lowlow]

i live with him he goes to the bar 1-3 times a week if that and he drinks beer . ive been with my b.f for 4 years and hes almost ready for us to move in to our own place but i cant leave my dad im pretty much the only one who takes care of him ...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Sweet, he confides in you so he trusts you.

But, you have to have Aunties, Uncles? No one with depression can go it alone, they do need something to help them through not think. I know you think that if he doesn't drink it will be okay and you also need to start soon to live your own life, but fear will 1) make you stay there and 2) may ruin your current relationship, people can only be patient for so long and your ready to fly the coup.

You can NOT take this all on your shoulders. It has made you stronger, more mature, evident from the way you speak but if something was to happen you will blame yourself.

You have to seek help from family.

Don't over dramatise it, but rather state, he needs medication that he and you can't afford but it's a life condition...

You won't betray him, I can hear your thoughts there. You haven't stated anything, rather, "life condition"..."help"...

Also 1.. ok.. 1 - 3 not okay...

He's lonely.. He's hurt... He needs to find things that can occupy his mind instead of the bar.. The bar makes him more lonely as he sits and drinks.

So, what is his passions? What can we do to get him to start one?

How about his friends? Outside of the bar? What can they do to amuse / entertain him and him in return like their company and laugh.

What about people you can invite over for a BBQ...

Things that make him see, he doesn't have to live alone, feel alone.

CW

[HALFNOTHING]

make him feel that he's life is worth living for. tell him a motivational story.. show him that you are proud of him. that he's your life though you have your GF, you still needs him.. make him feel that everybody loves him.

[lowlow]

thanks for all of your kind words . im going to seek help from my family, even though we arent the wealthiest family i know we can get together to raise the money for the medication . I know it will help but we all need to do our part in showing him we love him and things can get better ... CW your right i do worry constantly and even avoid going out to be home because im worried . i know thats No way to live . even communicating with you in this has helped me somewhat with my fears. i know now what i must do conquer this depression...but with my family behind me :]

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Your love is the weath

Keep in touch with us and even just to vent about how you feel, that day will help you, off course you know we'll probably write under you....

But I'm pleased you are going to get everyone involved and I can guarantee that a large burden will be taken off your shoulders by doing so and you will feel happier, less fearful and more at peace.

CW

[lowlow]

thank you . since my mom passed away i havent had really anyone to vent to i have two sisters but were not that close.. i will keep in touch and will be on here more often this website is great & im glad i found it ! :]