Just need to vent

[Kallygirlie]

Ok so I have to get something off my chest. I am T totally ticked off when it comes to cancer. How in the H*** can something take so many lives in this day and age. YES we have made progress with some treatments but come on. We have alll this technology and yet we cant find a cure for something that attacks the body!!!! I spend most of my days and night thinking of ways to raise money for the American Cancer Society because I don't want another person to go through what I went through. I don't want people to watch there loved ones slowly slip away knowing theres nothing in this world you can do to stop it. I don't want anyone to be in the pain my Mom was in. I sit here today broken hearted because yet another person was lost to cancer. Patrick Swayze was diagnosed within weeks after my Mom was diagnosed. My Mom was so sad when they said he had weeks to live and it scared her that she would have the same fate. It gave her sooooo much hope to see him winning his battle. Some people say I'm to involved, but is there such thing? Millions of people walk around thinking Cancer isn't going to happen to them but statistics say 1 in 3 people will develop cancer at some point so shouldn't we all be fighting for a cure? I was one of those people. I lost a friend in my senior yr of high school to cancer. I didn't know what it was or how it effected people. I moved on with my life and never thought about the reason he died, just thought about missing him. It wasn't until I heard the words "it was found be be cancer" with my Mom. Still I was nieve and thought, oh they got it with surgery, its gone. It wasn't until a month later when it spread that I did the research and saw what we were facing. I moved back home to be with Mom. I thought I'd just be her support. I had no Idea in the following months I'd be a full time caregiver. Theres no where on earth I would have rather been then right there by her side, holding her hand. It just breaks my heart knowing I couldn't do anything. I tried so hard and got no where. Every single freaking doctors appointment for those 6 months we got more and more bad news.

What I say now I really hope doesn't offend anyone. I really dont mean to but I HATE PINK. I'm so sick of seeing breast cancer awareness all over the place. Why should there be different groups for each cancer, why cant they all just come together and raise money for cancer and cancer alone. I honestly have talked to people with cancer that say that they are hurt that it seems the cancer they have gets no support. They feel they are being punished and no one cares because all you see now days is Pink or Yellow. I am a committee chair for Relay For Life and you'd be surpirsed as to how many people who fight for a cure dont know the facts. A question was asked at one of our meetings. " what is the #1 cancer killer of women"? Do you know everyone said breast cancer? It's not, its Lung Cancer. My mom was diagnosed with Lung Cancer. Yes I have a Lung Cancer awareness maginet on my car but right beside it I have a Relay for Life ribbon. There are just like breast cancer, Lung cancer awareness walks but I'd rather spend my time fighting for EVERYONE> I talk to so many people every year through my volunteer work with every cancer you could imagin. We all do relay for one common goal. Our county motto is "We relay so we never have to Relay again". We dont want to be out there walking 24 hrs, or asking for money. We want to live without cancer!!! I'm sorry if this totally sounds like a rant or a plug for Relay for life and I dont mean to offend anyone. I'm just so ticked off over the dreaded C word. I hate that this board even has to have the thread for Cancer.

My mom and I spoke about my carreer goal months before she passed. She saw the research I did, she saw my dedication for Relay and she told me I'd be a great nurse. She told me she thought I should go into oncology nursing because she knew I could give others the same hope as her nurses gave her. Hers my problem. Can I spend my days like that. could I live with going to work, getting close to patients only to have them slip away? All of my Moms nurses where in her hospital room the day she passed away, arms around me, all crying. Could I live being reminded everyday of what I lost to this horrid beast. Or would it be completely back wards. would I have even more dedication to my job and my patients because of what I faced. One of my moms nurses lost her mom to cancer and she said she faced the same choice and it turns out she loves her job. She said that of course every death hits her hard but there are so many more great things about it. Every piece of good news is a celebration. Seeing people who where so sick, now cancer free. I'm 26 and at a crossroads as to where to go. I just know I'm so tired of people fighting cancer. My county alone has over 200 cancer survivors that Relay. I truely hate doctors who want to play god and say someone has a time limit. How do they know. About half of our survivors were told they had 6 months to live and well they are still going 2 or more yrs later and some are even cancer free. UGHHHH!!!! I just wish a cure would be found for everyone

[WildChild]

I also watched my mother die of cancer and others and saw my now ex through it. What we do to "fight", to "treat" most cancer in essentially insane and barbaric. The day will come when people will look at current treatment methods and shake their heads in disbelief. The idea of destroying the immune system to cure someone is bizarre when you think about it.

[Kallygirlie]

exactly. I know where you are coming from. Lets kill everything, but in reality all they are doing is putting out a welcome mat for it to spread. My Mom was happy and health (well what we thought) when se was diagnosed. It wasn't until she started chemo that things started falling apart. She had lung surgery and brain surgery and whole brain radiation and she bounced back like it was nothing. Within weeks of chemo starting, things started falling apart. The are just now coming out with therapies, no chemo. My moms last treatment was a drug called Alimta. It is a targeted therapy. does the job of chemo without whiping out the immune system. Problem is, it was a 2nd line drug which meant you had to go through the worse of the worse to get to it. by the time my mom got to that drug, she was 70lbs!!!. It makes me sick!!