Scared to Death....... Of Vaginal Birth

[Juda2oo9]

I am terrified of giving vaginal birth......and not for the complications or anything. but the most common reason women are scared. I'm scared to not go back to how tight I am now down there. and I'm sure all women feel scared, but it's to the point I'm giving myself panic attacks, cause that has always been my worst fear.... is that crazy? Am I over reacting? cause i don't think so lol.... I'm 10 weeks preggo. so I have while to go, but still... this sits in my head way to often. any suggestions?

[Kallygirlie]

well first you need to breath. Its not good for the baby to have panic attacks. I dont have children but I've talked to people who all say that of course afterwards you wont be as tight but over time it takes it shape back. Our bodys are built to handle this stuff. Its not like if you give birth no man will ever want you. Its so beyond the truth. My cousin is 28 with 3 kids, she had her first child at the age of 15 and her husband,well i've already heard way to much about how tight she is (dont have a sex toy party unless you want to know EVERYTHING about the people how come LOL!!!) Dont worry hun, you'll be fine and after your beautiful bundle has arrived and your healed I'm sure you wont thing to more seconds about it

[WildChild]

I have two kids, had them well into my 30s. Calm down. Women have been doing this as long as there have been women.
Number one, educate yourself, Americans have some weird ideas about birth. We do more C-sections that just about the entire world put together, most of them are unnecessary. Giving birth on your back can cause a lot of damage and lead to incontinence and other problems. I recommend reading some of Ina Mae Gaskins books just to best understand birthing. You might want to start reading Mothering magazine, it is a good resource.

Start doing kegels, ask your midwife about using a kegel master or vaginal weights - she may think it better to wait on those until after delivery- but ask. Also get educated on how to work your perinium, you can condition it so you aren't likely to tear, I did this and had no tearing at all. You do not want an episiotomy as they take longer to heal, leave more scaring and are likely to cause trouble later. You will also want to start conditioning your nipples so that you won't get sore from nursing - get your hubby to help with that?

[Katsaly]

Kegels are very important. I recommend getting started on those right away. They are like a miracle exercise. Keep it up after, and you could potentially be like you never gave birth, with enough time and work.

Now, if you can't handle it, cosmetic c-sections are disturbingly common for exactly the reason you are stressed out. I'm not really in favor of them, but if the stress and fear is so bad, you might want to talk to your doctor about it.

[LanaBear]

Now, if you can't handle it, cosmetic c-sections are disturbingly common for exactly the reason you are stressed out. I'm not really in favor of them, but if the stress and fear is so bad, you might want to talk to your doctor about it.

True - but don't go into a c-section thinking it is a walk in the park. I think that is such a common misconception. I've had two, one was an emergency, the second was by choice due to the issues with my first labor making my Dr believe I wasn't a good VBAC candidate. They are not easy, the recovery is not easy, etc. I was scared too, but after going through the c-sections, I would have rather had a vaginal birth I believe. I've been jealous after seeing my friends leave the hospital, walking around etc., the following day. Yeah, they were sore, but to be expected.

Like WC said, women have been giving birth for as long as we've been around. Our bodies are built for it. Working the perineum is important too. You can have your SO or yourself massage it, I know they used to recommend massaging with a certain type of oil, not sure if that's still the case.

[WildChild]

Up walking around the next day after a vaginal birth? LOL. I was up walking around 20 mins after.

[LanaBear]

Exactly. It's usually the next day when I see them. LOL...

My first c-section, I didn't leave the hospital bed for 4 days! My second, I was out of bed about 24 hours later, but the baby was in NICU, so I was pretty determined to get my butt down to see him.

[danceintx]

There are so many more potential complications for c-section births than vaginal. I had 2 babies vaginal and wouldn't trade it for the world. The more natural you keep it, the less complications there will be. And I had 2 kids and still have it going on in the sac. Don't worry, our bodies adjust.

[PJhavinfunagain]

Be educated and communicate with your Dr. / midwife. Take a tour of the hospital where you will give birth. Talk to the nurses to find out the different methods/positions they are comfortable with for labor and delivery.